Tuesday 23 December

Texas housewife busted for hawking erotic toys
SF Gate
A possible faces a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if convicted...for selling a vibrator? Our Canadian readers must be shaking their heads in disbelief as leading Canadian mag Macleans trumpets: Marijuana. Same-Sex Marriage. Staying out of Iraq. Divisive issues, yes, but also a source of a new national pride in the kind of nation we're becoming,

France, stung by Libyan WMD deal, admits US policies showing results
Spacewar.com
Indeed, it was also most odd to see Chirac praising the capture of Husssein last week.

Silence Is Necessary to Understand Christmas, Says Pope
Zenit News Agency
With four kids aged ten and under, I guess my Darling Wife and I have no chance at understanding Christmas this year.

Cats Try to Eat Incapacitated Owner
AP {via Yahoo}
No wonder our cat keeps brushing up against me whenever I take a nap: "a group of hungry cats began to eat their 86-year-old owner after she suffered an apparent stroke and couldn't get up for nearly a week, officials said Thursday."

Monday 22 December

Was Saddam actually captured on December 13?
albawaba.com
Hoo-boy, the nuts are falling out of the trees. Next thing you know we'll find out that he was drugged by some pissed-off warlord and left for us to find.

Saddam was held by Kurdish forces, drugged and left for US troops
AFP {via Yahoo}
I dunno...this reads like a novel one picks up on vacation and speed reads in 90 minutes: The warlord's daughter is raped by Uday, he holds the grudge for years then finally gets his chance at the ultimate revenge. On the other hand, though, Saddam did look a little out of it when they hauled him out of that hole.

Details of Saddam's Months in Hiding
Foxnews
Interesting that he didn't take his billions and head off to Mozambique.

Be polite to Mr Saddam
London Sun
Talk about removed from reality: "BBC bosses have banned reporters from calling tyrant Saddam Hussein a former dictator." Bet they weren't that respectful to Hitler.

Friday 19 December

Twist, Walker to Fight in Hockey-Themed Brawl
ESPN
The promoter insists that the only people they will accept are people who play or who have played hockey. Meaning entrants will either be former players who miss Brawl-On-Ice or players who don't mind screwing up their careers with possible injuries. There's better ways to try to get $50,000 for free - like attending sweepstakes.

Dazzling Images From New Space Telescope
RedNova
A powerful new telescope produces beautiful images of the universe, proving that beauty is infinite.

The Twelve Days of Christmas
PNC Bank
If you can, take a look at the flash presentation of the Christmas Price Index. Who knew swans have gotten so scarily expensive?

Rolling Pensioner Halted on Highway
Aftenposten News
We end today's headlines with this small snippet, because it reminds me of a similiar case here. Travelers along a busy highway have become accustomed to seeing a local senior citizen tooling down the side of the road in his wheelchair. You can't miss it - the thing is festooned with six tall flags, a reflective triangle on the back, yellow pennants, and a large tray across the armrests with carefully placed lights, horns and whatnot. It's not an electric wheelchair, either.. the guy 'walks' in it. On good days, he'll even be calmly puffing on a pipe! Drivers are careful to give him room and nobody seems to mind, as if we are all silently cheering on someone who has refused to let age and infirmity to get in the way of life.

Thursday 18 December

National Fruitcake Roundup
Action News
As we swing into the countdown of the last few days before Christmas, the much-maligned fruitcake is already destined to the trash bin. I admit I've never tried one. There's got to be a recipe out there which causes people to fall in love with this so-called doorstop.

Fewer White Christmases?
ABCNews
One of our most outstanding Christmas memories was Christmas day '79, when we awoke to find over eight inches of snow outside. Since we were hosting the holiday dinner for several people at noon, poor Dad had to spend six hours shoveling out the driveway and walks by himself while Mom stayed inside with the babies. Shortly thereafter, we bought one of the most necessary requirements for living in the Northeast - a snowthrower.

The Rush of Mushing
ABCNews
Hey. This would be great for off-season use of the local bike trails, especially once they finish linking all the trails between home and office. Pollution-free, rush hour-free, and the canned food's got to cost less than gas. Plus cars rarely show as much unfailing loyalty as dogs.


Wednesday 17 December

Spend-and-Borrow Republicans
Palm Beach Post
The argument is that traditionally, Republicans have been "tax and spend", whereas Democrats have been "spend and borrow". Either way, it's the average Joe who pays.

Hardee's Offers Low-Carb Burgers
AZcentral.com
Back when I was in high school, I loved how the (baked) cafeteria burgers came out but loathed the sticky, cottony buns they were put into, so I just scraped off the buns. To this day, I still do, but at least I use a fork. All I can see here are greasy burgers slipping out of their lettuce pockets and onto laps... the floor.. the car seat.. daddy's shoes....

Events in Iraq Boost Rumsfeld
Washington Times
More fodder to make the Democrats nervous about the 2004 election. After all, who wouldn't be suspicious the captured Hussein was a fake because why would an imposter carry around 1 million?

Web Shop 'til You Drop
Fox News
As we stagger closer and closer to Christmas, the lure of web shopping becomes more and more tempting. It's also fraught with pitfalls as hucksters take advantage of the internet's capability of providing them a smokescreen. Though they'd better start running: the FTC is planning on bringing out the bounty hunters!


Tuesday 16 December

Bill Would Ban Cuss Words From TV, Radio
Fox News
Shades of George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words. The 1978 Supreme Court ruling in favor of the FCC formally established indecency regulations in American Broadcasting. You mean there's other expletives besides these?

Man Calls Cops to Arrest Cat
KXXV-TV
The cat, apparently, was growing pot in the guy's apartment. I'm sure we can guess who was smoking it.

Defendant Loses Appeal Filed on Grounds of Stupidity
KOBTV
Drunk bank robber insists it's not his fault because he was drunk. That outlaw cat must have put put into this guy's whiskey.

Saints Receiver's Call Draws Penalty
SFGate.com

It's not enough to play football any more. Apparently, you also have to grandstand to get the public's attention. Why not just stick a helmet on a cat?

Monday 15 December

Saddam Hussein captured by U.S. forces
Toronto Globe and Mail
There is only one story today. My beloved Mother-in-Law is suspicious, however: "This is just too pat. He's caught in a hole. There's an election coming up. How do we know it's really him?" Well, I'm certain it's him....and just where did she think he'd be hanging? At the Baghdad Hilton? In the end he was done in by an alert soldier who noticed that something on the floor "didn't look right." Meanwhile, the Democrats must be cringing, because 2004 now looks like a done deal.

Friday 12 December

Hillary Clinton accuses Bush of 'undoing the New Deal'
Jewish World Review
And what's wrong with that? The New Deal is now 70 years old, making it an old and antiquated deal.

Mysterious ice balls falling from heavens
Seattle PI.com
So, it's a sunny day and you think you're safe, bub? Think again: "Last winter, an ice chunk that witnesses described as "half the size of a car" ripped through the roof of an automobile dealership in Lawrenceville, Ga. " Early bets are focusing on global warming, but before you jump on the environmental bandwagon, read this excellent speech by the author Michael Crichton, please.

Hunter who shot dog agrees to pay vet bill
Zanesville Times Recorder
Deer-gun season ended last Saturday here in Hooterville, but this story is a fine example of how nutty things around here can get: "the hunter admitted to shooting the dog {a Black Great Dane} but did not know it was a family pet."

Bush Defends Iraq Contract Limits
Reuters {via Yahoo}
Hey, BIL, here's a Canadian you could share a Coke with..."Alberta Premier Ralph Klein said yesterday that when the federal government makes decisions about foreign policy it should consider the potential of economic retaliation from the United States."

Thursday 11 December

Abercrombie & Fitch: The naked truth
Capital Hill Blue
Since Abercrombie & Fitch has yanked its catalog, due to bad publicity, I feel it's my civic duty to offer up this link.

Iraqis demonstrate against terrorism
Washington Times
Frequent commenter BIL sends this one in with the comment that "Canada's not going to like this!" I'm not so sure of that, BIL, but here's a bit from today's Toronto Globe and Mail that will warm your heart: Winnipeg cool to Clinton appearance .

Tapes: Nixon Called Reagan 'Strange'
AP {via Yahoo}
The pot called the kettle "strange" and not "pleasant to be around," newly released White House tapes show. Hey, wasn't this the guy who sent memos to his wife, Pat, and his daughters, instructing them to tell reporters of his "warm, human" qualities? The same guy who commanded the destruction of a White House tennis court because it was frequented by a cabinet secretary he disliked? The same guy who referred to the "fucking Jews? The same man who ordered illegal wiretaps on the home phones of columnists and suspected leakers? This guy was strange with a capital S.

Gore running in 2008
WorldNetDaily
My beloved Mother-in-law and I were driving around today and she asked my thoughts on Gore's support for Dean. "It's obvious," I told her, "that Gore thinks 2004 is Bush's. If that happens, it's going to be a power struggle between Gore and Hillary for 2008." And then we moved our conversation towards which family member was stranger than Richard Nixon.

Wednesday 10 December

Canada barred from Iraq contracts
Toronto Globe and Mail
Revenge is normal, Mr. President, but it's probably short-sighted. We should hire the best to do the work, and if they didn't support us, then they can learn from being there, word will filter back and support will grow.

Wreck kills Sizzler patron
Longview Daily News {Washington}
There are several ways to look at this....the deceased, an 81 year old retired Baptist minister, was old and would die soon anyway....or it was "his time to go"....or "he was in the wrong place at the wrong time"....or if he were a vegetarian he'd be still with us....Got any to add?

Bush Opposes Taiwan Bid for Independence
MyWay.com
Hmmm, missing are all of those flowery dreams of democracy and freedom....I wonder why?

Bobby Ross to Coach Army Football
AP {via Yahoo}
It took him three years to recover from being coach of my sad-sack Detroit Lions, and he was a winning coach when he quit. Imagine how crazed Darryl Rogers, Monte Clark and Marty Mornhinweg are.

Tuesday 09 December

Elephants hijack sugar trucks
The Australian
This bizarre bit reminds me of this old saw:
An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in the Amazon, when the elephant spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock.
The elephant walks over to the turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far into the jungle.
"What did you do that for?" asks the crocodile.
The elephant answers, "That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty years ago."
The crocodile says, "And you remembered him after all these years? Boy, you sure do have a good memory."
"Yep," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

High school student expelled for possession of Advil
The Shreveport [LA] Times {via Unknown News}
Our own grade school here in Hooterville is locked and you have to ring a buzzer, as you stare into a TV camera, to get admitted and, whenever I do this, I keep thinking that hyper-correction and hyper-protection will zap this country of its soul.

Survey: Saddam Killed 61,000 in Baghdad
Newsday
Still think the war was wrong?

Supreme Court Allows Rosa Parks to Sue Rap Duo
Reuters {via Yahoo}
I'd argue that Mrs Parks, as a public person, has lowered expectations of privacy and therefore opens herself up for things like this, but the real reason I'm sticking up this link is to shamelessly pimp my three year old Rosa Parks page which now is up to 304,425 hits.

Monday 08 December

'Votes at 16' plan as Blair courts youth
Manchester Guardian
Good morning....not much happening in the news. Oh, I could have led with the bizarre tale of a Woman's hair catches on fire at a gas pump, but it probably had something to do with hairspray, since she was a hair stylist. Back in my factory days I saw a dude's afro catch on fire. We were in metal shop, welding Dodge Vans together, and he wasn't wearing a hat. Not a pretty sight as he ran around in circles. He was back 2 days later, bald. Or I could have stuck in this bit about an octopus that was found in an Illinois lake, but who cares, eh? For the sports-minded, I could have tossed in an article about USC getting jobbed, but, since they've beaten Michigan four times in the Rose Bowl in the past 30 years, I'm glad that my old BLUE gets a crack at them this year. Revenge would be nice. I could have also thrown in the news that Kazaa has shut down Kazaalight on grounds of, get this, copyright infringement, but it just underlines the moral bankruptcy of Kazaa and we already knew that. Finally, I could have run this bit about Michael Jackson running a child porn site, but I promised no further Jackson links. So, we are stuck with this latest British bit of wisdom, giving the vote to 16 year olds. But this would never float here in North America, would it? So I hereby declare this a no news morning. No news. Nada. Zip.

Friday 05 December

Red Wine May Protect Against Breast Cancer
HealthDayNews {via Yahoo}
Even more evidence to drink at night.

Drinking Associated with Brain Shrinkage
Reuters {via Yahoo}
Oops, I knew it was too good to be true.

'Trampled' Wal-Mart Shopper Has History Of Injury Claims
Local6.com {Central Florida}
It took everything I had to refrain from grabbing the Woman trampled at Walmart link that hundreds of papers around the world were running last weekend, and it's good that I didn't. Check this out....this creep has "Filed 16 Previous Claims, 9 At Wal-Mart Stores."

Alicia Keys Misses The Smell of New York: Pee and Beer
EurWeb.com
Reminds me of that Margaret Cho bit, one I just related to BIL the other day, where Cho starts getting nostalgic about growing up in the Haight-Ashbury bookstore that her parents owned, saying "I still get goosebumps whenever I smell musty balls covered in nylon."

Thursday 04 December

Parent upset that teacher calls Santa "make-believe"
Bradenton.com {Florida}
Story reminds me of my middle sister's reaction when she discovered that we tell our kids the same. She called up, crying that "you are robbing your children of one of life's precious joys." My reply was that I stopped believing in Santa when i was four and noticed that he was wearing the same big, red college ring as my Uncle Melvin. I assume our kids are at least as quick, so why bother spinning the myth?

Radio DJ blows Santa's cover
Washington Times
45 years later I surprised my uncle and aunt with my tale of the ring and they remembered the chaos I caused that Christmas Eve as they tried to convince all the other kids that I was wrong..

President's approval on the rise after Thanksgiving
SF Gate
The people like him, the economy, despite commenter Meeks's prediction, is surging and Ralph Nader is considering another 3rd party run. Things are going so well for Bush that the Dems must be pulling their hair out one-by-one.

Advocacy group says retailer pulled racy mag over protest
CNN Money
Haven't seen the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog in question, but this does give me an opportunity to vent about Victoria's Secret. Catalogs roll in almost daily from this joint, and, apparently, there's no end in sight. If you ever bought anything from them, you're on their list, forever.

Wednesday 03 December

Why you should get your flu vaccination
Slate.com
The flu ripped through our house this past weekend, leaving four home sick just yesterday. So far, however, it's been pretty much limited to the younger members of the family.

'Reagans' Viewers: Almost Too Mini to Count
Washington Post
Before Frequent Commenter BIL left for home, rightfully frightened of our epidemic, he and I tried to watch this disaster the other night, but we had to turn it off as James Brolin was chewing up the scenery at a record rate. No wonder CBS axed it.

Michael Jackson Age Progression
forartist.com
I'm trying to lay off the Jacko links, but this one is too cool.

Friday 05 December

Red Wine May Protect Against Breast Cancer
HealthDayNews {via Yahoo}
Even more evidence to drink at night.

Drinking Associated with Brain Shrinkage
Reuters {via Yahoo}
Oops, I knew it was too good to be true.

'Trampled' Wal-Mart Shopper Has History Of Injury Claims
Local6.com {Central Florida}
It took everything I had to refrain from grabbing the Woman trampled at Walmart link that hundreds of papers around the world were running last weekend, and it's good that I didn't. Check this out....this creep has "Filed 16 Previous Claims, 9 At Wal-Mart Stores."

Alicia Keys Misses The Smell of New York: Pee and Beer
EurWeb.com
Reminds me of that Margaret Cho bit, one I just related to BIL the other day, where Cho starts getting nostalgic about growing up in the Haight-Ashbury bookstore that her parents owned, saying "I still get goosebumps whenever I smell musty balls covered in nylon."

Thursday 04 December

Parent upset that teacher calls Santa "make-believe"
Bradenton.com {Florida}
Story reminds me of my middle sister's reaction when she discovered that we tell our kids the same. She called up, crying that "you are robbing your children of one of life's precious joys." My reply was that I stopped believing in Santa when i was four and noticed that he was wearing the same big, red college ring as my Uncle Melvin. I assume our kids are at least as quick, so why bother spinning the myth?

Radio DJ blows Santa's cover
Washington Times
45 years later I surprised my uncle and aunt with my tale of the ring and they remembered the chaos I caused that Christmas Eve as they tried to convince all the other kids that I was wrong..

President's approval on the rise after Thanksgiving
SF Gate
The people like him, the economy, despite commenter Meeks's prediction, is surging and Ralph Nader is considering another 3rd party run. Things are going so well for Bush that the Dems must be pulling their hair out one-by-one.

Advocacy group says retailer pulled racy mag over protest
CNN Money
Haven't seen the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog in question, but this does give me an opportunity to vent about Victoria's Secret. Catalogs roll in almost daily from this joint, and, apparently, there's no end in sight. If you ever bought anything from them, you're on their list, forever.

Wednesday 03 December

Why you should get your flu vaccination
Slate.com
The flu ripped through our house this past weekend, leaving four home sick just yesterday. So far, however, it's been pretty much limited to the younger members of the family.

'Reagans' Viewers: Almost Too Mini to Count
Washington Post
Before Frequent Commenter BIL left for home, rightfully frightened of our epidemic, he and I tried to watch this disaster the other night, but we had to turn it off as James Brolin was chewing up the scenery at a record rate. No wonder CBS axed it.

Michael Jackson Age Progression
forartist.com
I'm trying to lay off the Jacko links, but this one is too cool.

Tuesday 02 December

Man Changes Name to Bubba Bubba Bubba
AP {via Yahoo}
We get the point, Bubba.

Americans Never Want To Hear `Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' Again
NC Buy
Add McArthur Park to that list.

Saudi Columnist: 'We Have Bred Monsters ... We Are the Problem and Not America'
The Middle East Media Research Institute
Sometimes words have to be harsh.

Doctors Urged to Treat Obesity More Aggressively
Washington Post
I hope they aren't taking tips: 350-pound black man dies after being struck repeatedly by Cincinnati cops. But, they had better not be too aggressive: Man Kills Father Who Criticized His Weight.

Monday 01 December

Minnesota man burns down garage while deep-frying turkey
Star-Telegram.com
Unlike this poor sap's holiday, ours went extremely well. No fights, no hard feelings and no one feel down the basement stairs, killing the cat in the process. By the way, the subject of "deep-frying" a turkey did come up and I looked it up....the first ingredient is 5 gallons of cooking oil, the second is mental impairment.

'Tis the season to be silly
Manchester Guardian
And with Turkey Day out of the picture, it's time to set our sights on Christmas and we start with the Guardian's list of the 12 oddest Christmas hits...ever.

Microsoft forgets to renew hotmail.co.uk domain
The Register {UK}
Now I don't feel so bad about forgetting to feed the holiday guests.

Michael Jackson was held in a woman's cell
London Mirror
No surprise there, eh?

Thursday 27 November
If there's one holiday that can be thought of as "American," even more so that the Fourth of July, it's Thanksgiving. We all know the story of how the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock back in 1620 then lost 40% of their original 102 that winter, and how 91 "Indians" helped celebrate the Pilgrims' harvest, that becoming our first Thanksgiving. I write "our first Thanksgiving" because there is reason to believe that a similar meal of thanks was celebrated in Newfoundland in 1578. But, it doesn't really matter who had the first Thanksgiving or whether it's celebrated on the 2nd Monday in October or the 4th Thursday in November. It's the same parade, the same crazy meals and the same spirit. It's a day when relatives travel thousands of miles to be with their families. It's a special, un-commercialized day. There are no syrupy songs about it, no pressure to rush out and buy gifts and because of that it's preferred by many to Christmas. And it'll be that way, of course, this weekend here at our house as up to 30 people, I've lost count of how many I've invited, will cram into our basement to share that common meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberries, pumpkin pie and love. We'll be lost in that swirl of family and friends until next Monday, so have a good weekend, everyone, and thanks to One and all.

Meat Loaf undergoes heart surgery
BBC

To quote Oldest Son Tommy, who is home for the holiday, "What do you expect? After all, his name is Meatloaf!"

PayPal targeted again by Mimail mutant
ZDNet
I"m getting 3-4 of these a day, but the grammar is so bad that it's hard to see how it could fool anyone: "We regret to inform you that your account is about to be expired in next five business days ."

Back Pain? No Firm Mattresses
CBS News
I admit it....it's a slow news day, but I figure everyone has a mattress, eh?

David Stern III -- created films' 'Talking Mule'
SF Gate
How slow is the news? This slow....I remember watching several "Francis the Talking Mule" movies back in grade school....this would be in the Eisenhower-Diefenbaker era. That, my friends, is how slow the news is tonight. I'm reduced to writing about the predecessor of the horribly dreary and teribbly-unfunny Mr. Ed: "A horse is a horse of course, of course. And no-one can talk to a horse of course - that is of course unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed. Go right to the source and ask the horse - he'll give you the answer that you endorse. He's always on a standing course - talk to Mister Ed!"

Tuesday 25 November

Iran slams Canadian justice as "most racist"
IranManiaNews
What a joke, eh? For another view of Iran, check out this link.

Los Angeles: master/slave drives are politically incorrect
Inquirer
Co-Editor Kay passed along this one last Friday. Maybe I'm being oversensitive, Kay, but the terms are a little perplexing.

Co-opting the Future
pcmag.com
Computer guru John C. Dvorak, not a fan of blogging to begin with {"Why anyone would do it voluntarily on a blog mystifies a lot of professional writers. This is compounded by a lack of feedback, positive or otherwise. Perseus thinks that most blogs have an audience of about 12 readers. Leaflets posted on the corkboard at Albertsons attract a larger readership than many blogs. Some people must feel the futility. "}, hates them even more now that major news sites have co-opted the concept. As we round the corner on our 3rd year here at net.Headlines, the one thing that keeps us going, and it can be frustrating but never feels "futile," is the feedback we get in emails and comments. Keep those comments, coming, and we'll keep on a keeping on.

here is another Sun and human civilization Inside the Earth
Pravda {Russia}
Doesn't surprise me one bit. In fact, there's probably a sun and earth inside the earth and sun that are inside our earth. And so on and so on and scooby dooby doo-bee

Monday 24 November

Hockey's 'old-boys' make it an on-ice party
Ottawa Citizen
We anxiously await our commenter Meeks's report from Saturday night's outdoor hockey game in Edmonton where it was 1 degree Fahrenheit. I watched it, enjoyed it immensely...from the confines of my warm family room.

Gen. Franks Doubts Constitution Will Survive WMD Attack
NewsMax.com
Y'know, I keep having the same nightmare and agree with his conclusion.

Why Microsoft wants to buy - then trash - Google
The Inquirer
An excellent letter that nails Microsoft.

Wireless Sector Braces for Phone Number Moves
Reuters via Yahoo
Way cool: starting today, here in the States, you can transfer your cell phone number to a new service.

Friday 21 November

CBS postpones its plans to air Michael Jackson TV special next week
Canoe News {Canada}

Duh.

Alberta billboards mock Sask.
Saskatoon Canada.com

Yeah, nobody from Alberta would go to a night NHL game outdoors in late November, would they? And, if you want additional evidence of the fragility of the Albertan mind, check out this link: Man retrieving cap crushed by semi. Yeah, I can understand why they're making fun of poor Sask.

Shhhh! People are trying to compute
Philadelphia Weekly

Toss out the library's books and replace them with computers? This had better be tongue in cheek.

Fla. Woman Has Stroke, Gets British Accent
local6.com {Central Florida}

I suppose a British accent would not be as bad as, say, developing a sudden need to tape and transcribe every movie the Lifetime Channel runs. Have a nice weekend, everybody and GO BLUE!

Thursday 20 November

Coldest game on ice is hottest ticket in town
Edmonton Journal
Saturday night's game between the Edmonton Oilers and the Montreal Canadiens will be played outdoors and I'll be praying for snow. Snow and nasty winds. That's what I want to see. Players trying to skate through snowdrifts. Goalies unable to hear their defensemen's yells because of the howling winds. If there's a God, it'll be pure chaos out there and we at home can sit back, sip our brews and wince when another one hits the ice.

Inmate Makes Deal to Watch Football Game
ABC News

It gets so crazy down here when Ohio State plays Michigan and this year is no different. Take this guy, for instance: Jeff Renne's plea deal on a forgery charge came with one demand: He had to stay in the local jail through the weekend so he could watch the Ohio State-Michigan game on television on Saturday. What's crazy is that, one, he would have the balls to make such a request and, two, that the judge would grant it.

GO BLUE!

Photo of the Day
Yahoo

Co-editor Kay sent in this link two days ago with the comment that greed is ruining sports. But I don't see anything wrong with it. It's free enterprise.....if the kid can play, then why the heck not?

Man Dies After Winning Vodka-Drinking Contest
Reuters via Yahoo

Finally, we offer this in keeping with our all sports links today.

Wednesday 19 November

Ontario set to implement smoking ban in public places
Toronto Globe and Mail

OMG, $75 for a carton of smokes? i realize it' s Canadian money, but that's still $57 bucks American. It's pretty obvious who is funding the Canadian health system.

Jethro Tull Apologizes for Flag Comments
Newsday.com

Watch Ian Anderson backtrack after his bungle in the jungle.

U2 Song is Best One Ever
Sky News {UK}

Great song, they should have quit immediately after recording it.

Bucs Tell Keyshawn to Sit Out Season
Yahoo

I don't care how disruptive this guy is. He can catch the ball and my Lions need pople who can catch the ball. Get him signed, Matt.

Tuesday 18 November

MyLastEmail.com
mylastemail

Our fifth consecutive Metafilter link takes us to MyLastEmail. One has to wonder, however, how they know when a member dies? You would have to enter instructions into a will. How likely is that?

Rush Limbaugh Returns From Rehab
NY Post

I've always been fond of Rush, not because I share his politics but because I enjoy good radio and Rush is that. So I made it a point to listen to his opening segment today and to his first few calls. I had to turn it off when caller number 3 praised him for his honesty and Rush, in his usual manner, basked in the glow. You may think that Rush tells the truth about politics, I don't happen to agree, but one thing he did not tell the truth about was his drug habit and that makes blanket praisings for his honesty ring false.

Indian Bishops Hear Pope Condemn Caste System
Zenit News Agency

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?"

US company creates waterless urinals
ChannelNewsAsia.com

Keeping our promise to keep you abreast of only the best: the waterless flush.

Monday 17 November

Ed Portal's net.Headlines
Crazy Sytes

All of today's links, a first for this page, come from one site, Metafilter, and we start with this slightly skewed look at our little world.

Photo of the Day
Yahoo

If I were a woman, I wouldn't be too happy with this photo, and it's not because I'm on the other side, because I'm not.

Oneirogmophobia?
The Phobia Clinic

Betcha this is one phobia you've never heard of.

Search-This
Search Engine Decoder

Fascinating look at how the various search engines are connected.

Friday 14 November

Alberta ranchers explore 'manure power'
CBC

Oh, this one is too easy. I'll pass.

Spammers Target Instant Message Users
Yahoo

I've been occasionally hassled by bots on ICQ for over a year now. They're always 21 or 22 year old "females" who want me to visit some sex or online dating site. They've been programmed to dialog in a very basic manner, which I learned to subvert by writing messages like "Tell_your_programmer_to_take_my_name_off_his_hit_list_dammit." Eventually someone read the log and I no longer get hit.

Mom Finds Out About Blog
The Onion

Not my mom, she gets rattled just trying to maneuver a mouse, but my mother-in law comments on here from time to time.

Levy minus the levity
National Post {Canada}

Eugene Levy, Canadian funnyman, calls Canadian PM Chretian "embarrassing" and his term in office "a reign of terror." American Pie II was not embarrassing? The Dumb and Dumber series is not a reign of terror? Shut up, Eugene.

Thursday 13 November

Internet Explorer to stomp pop-ups
CNET

"Microsoft plans to add pop-up blocking features to Internet Explorer next year as part of its Service Pack 2 update for Windows XP." Mac's Safari browser already does this. I am slowly switching from Windows to Mac and, after two weeks, the move is going pretty well. I still don't know how to get the machines to recognize each other, but our Oldest Son Tommy will be home in two weeks and he assures me it's a piece of cake. I had to go back, however, to beef up on RAM. 256 just doesn't cut it.

Greek Jewish leaders denounce remarks by "Zorba" composer Theodorakis
AFP via Yahoo

The next time you hear the theme to Zorba the Greek remember that the composer thinks that Jews are the root of evil.

Worst Album Covers Ever II
Stone

There's so many over the years, this can probably become a weekly event. Of this batch, I only recall the Ed McMahon one.

Bill 97 2003
Legislative Assembly of Ontario

Why wrestle with the larger issues?
Via Dave Barry's Blog.

Wednesday 12 November

Nuclear weapons lab's keys are lost
Chicago Sun-Times

No big deal. I can understand this. I've lost my keys.

Terrorists may poison Canadian food or water, top-level report warns
Canada Press via Yahoo

You see, Canada, it's not going to be possible to stay "neutral."

Killing Was a Joke Gone Bad, Slain Girl's Friends Say
LA Times

I swear I've seen this movie.

Arrested sexual pleasure for police
Herald Sun

Spot the lie.

Tuesday 11 November

FCC OKs Home-To-Cell Phone Number Rule
AP via Yahoo

For our Way Cool Department: "Federal regulators approved rules Monday making it easier for consumers to go totally wireless by allowing them to transfer their home number to their cell phone." The problem with wireless, however, is the lack of privacy. I can hear my neighbors so I am betting they can hear me.

The Return of Banjo Boy
New Yorker

Check this out: they found the then-boy who played the banjo in "Deliverance." He doesn't play the banjo anymore because, get this....he never did.

Smart Edges Out Lynch in Network Ratings Battle
Reuters via Yahoo

"The CBS television movie "The Elizabeth Smart Story" on Sunday night averaged nearly 15.7 million viewers, compared with 14.9 million for NBC's rival docudrama "Saving Jessica Lynch," according to preliminary figures issued by Nielsen Media Research. Jessica's fans can take heart, however, as she whallops Elizabeth in a Google Search Squareoff, 157,000 to 98,400."

Tory MPP mulls offer from NDP
Toronto Star

Aha, as I mentioned the other day, their parties must be awesome, as is witnessed in this quote: "Bill Murdoch says he wouldn't change his political views and become a New Democrat but is considering an offer by the NDP deputy house leader Peter Kormos to sit with the party... ."

Monday 10 November

Hungarian Says Rock Defeated Communism
Associated Press via Yahoo

Add to the list of Reagan defeated Communism, 20 Google Search Results, and I've also heard it said that Pope John Paul II defeated it, as well as Poles, even Pan-Islamism. When, in fact, it's all of the above, tossing in such factors as also alcoholism and the Soviet system which did not allow for personal incentive.

Church Sign Generator
aboyandhiscomputer.com

Not a headline link, but I've long been fascinated by the many pithy church signs I've seen over the years.
Via blogdex.

Wife Chops Off Penis
Sky News

Why this makes international news when men *kill* women daily, beats the hell out of me.

Sunday 09 November

WHO lauds Canada for taking steps to bring low-cost drugs to poor countries
WHO-Medicine

The American poor however are forbdden.

Judge OKs Shutdown of Canada Drugs Firm
ABC Moneyscope

I guess Nafta and free trade only extends so far, eh? Thanks, Kay, for the link.

Marijuana 'wonderful substance': Layton
Ottawa Citizen

Attention to the NDP: Joining forces with the marginalized is hardly a tactic for success...but the parties must be awesome.

Friday 07 November

Who's the Enemy?
The Enterprise Mission

Do NOT read this late at night.

Christopher Hitchens: Restating the Case for War
Slate

If the above does keep you up, read this and you'll be able to head back to sleep.

"Non-Stop Bloodshed"
pulse24.com

5 murders in T.O. since Halloween? It's good to see Americanism spreading northwards.

NPR Given Record Donation
Washington Post via Yahoo

That does it. I am permanently switching to Wendy's. I don't suppose this will stop NPR from holding out its hat to Congress, however.

Thursday 06 November

Police to stop citing drivers who flash lights
The Tennessean

There's a speed trap just a mile up the hill from here and the locals are constantly expressing their right to free speech in order to avoid the "statie," which is some weird local term for the State Police.

Report: Deer-Related Accidents Cost $1.1B
Associated Press via Yahoo

In eleven years I've nailed three, all within a half mile of the speed trap. The score, so far: 2 dead deer, 1 dead mini van.

Stargazers Await Weekend Lunar Eclipse
Associated Press via Yahoo

We get a great view of the southern sky here in The Boonies, when we aren't dodging cops or deer.

'It's very tasteful,' marketer says
Kentucky.com

We may be out in the Boonies, but we don't have anything this bad. ...unless you count The Hillbilly-Indian Store at our local mall.

Wednesday 05 November

The Worst Album Covers Ever
Stone

I only had one date in the 60's but I did love music and thought I recalled the dance party cover from this page. I enlarged the photo in Photoshop to date it and it's kind of hard to make out, but some of the songs are "Splish Splash", "Stupid Cupid", "Poor Little Fool" and "Just a Dream", which would place it around 1962, where I was in the 7th grade and never talked to girls.
via Blogdex.

Dormant Creem magazine to publish again
Miami Herald

Ten years after the above album cover was released I was an avid reader of this hometown mag. Meanwhile, also in the 70's, I met and married my Darling WIfe and we had our first child, Mary.

Remembering the 1980's
StateHornet.com {Sacramento}

Ten years later I was not listening to Debbie and Tiffany as this writer was. We were too busy with family life, moving to 3 states and having two more kids. By the way, have you noticed the 80's trivia that seems to be everywhere on TV? This is not aimed at the boomers, but at their younger brothers and sisters.

Internet in the 1990's
bigbrother

The 90's found me online....and adding four kids to our brood. I recall sitting online one night back in the early 1990's and looking at available domain names. Ford.com had not yet been taken!

Tuesday 04 November

Construction Surges to Record in Sept.

Stocks Soar to 17-Month Highs

Oct. Factory Growth Fastest Since 2000
Uh-oh, it's starting to look like four more years.

Bush and Occam's Razor
underground.com

Sarah sends in her first link with this look at what we surely can expect in the next four years.

Toss Out the Ipecac
DrKoop.com

For years I've sat in various cramped pediatricians' offices and have had to answer a laundry-list of silly questions from the nurse, such as "Does your home have smoke alarms? Do you have lead paint anywhere in your house? Do you have your children buckle up? Do you keep a bottle of Ipecac handy and Do you allow your kids to use the cat as a football?" Looks like we can shorten that list now.

Kraftwerk To Play With Dido, Beyonce, Kylie Minogue on MTV, Tour Japan
Pitchfork Media

"Kraftwerk are set to make their live television debut this Thursday, November 6th as part of this year's MTV Europe Video Music Awards in Edinburgh, Scotland, according to MTV.com." Now, there's a group I'm sure will have an easy time crossing over to television. If there's any kind of music that was made for TV, it's gotta be Kraftwerk with their scintillating hits such as Autobahn, Trans-Europe Express, or, my personal favorite, Pocket Calculator..

Monday 03 November

Who's older? Twins' birth straddle time change
Daily Hampshire Gazette

We open Monday with this brain-twister: Which twin is older? The one born first, or the one who benefitted from the switch back from daylight savings time?

Many in Arab world celebrate US helicopter attack
Israel News

A lot of anti-Americanism, I think, is similar to my hatred for the N.Y. Yankees. We have what they want; stuff like Arby's French Dip'n Swiss Sandwiches, Sex in the City, Walmart's, Naked Karaoke and Joe Millionaire.

Quebec 'a nation,' National Assembly declares in vote
Toronto Globe and Mail

Hmmm, I think I get it...how about "Derek Jeter Declares He's a Team" or "Oprah Declares She is a Channel"?

Study: 'Oprah' Fans More Likely To Be Stressed
The Louisville Channel

Speaking of Oprah, her link to the suburban female masses has always mystified me, but maybe this is why the Soccer Moms are watching. It's better than martinis or bennies.

Friday 31 October

Second Solar Storm Hits Earth
Washington Post

SCARY!!!

Trucks That Hauled Wastewater Later Carried Fruit Juice
TBOnews.com {Tampa}

SCARIER!!!!!!

Al-Qaeda planning US 'death blow'
News.com.au

EVEN SCARIER!!!!!!

Democrat Calls Bush 'Right Man at the Right Time'
mensnewsdaily.com

SCARIEST!!!!!!

Thursday 30 October

Lights, Camera, LeBron
Cleveland Plain Dealer

The greatest thing since Lew Alcindor was excellent in his debut. However, his team lost. But, let's not forget that last year, without him, they would have lost by 30.

Earth survives huge geomagnetic attack from Sun!
NY Daily News

Whew!

Man Tries To Cook Duck Head In Store Microwave
NBC6.net

Okay, I admit it. It's a slow news night. But, what do you expect, after just having survived the sun's huge geomagnetic attack?

Mandatory driving suspensions for cardiac patients don't make roads safer
Canada.com

I think I didn't drive for six weeks after my heart attack, but here in the States we don't have such restrictions and I think that's because we prize personal freedom a little more than our cousins to The North. Of course, the flip side is that they don't have 11,000 murders a year.

Wednesday 29 October

Sun hurls another solar flare at Earth
Jamaica Observer

Thor was the mightiest of the gods, and with his hammer, Mjollnir, he could protect the gods and himself in the valley of Asgard from the mighty power and destructiveness of the giants that plagued them. Thor's mighty hammer could be thrown at anything and after it hit its target, it would always return to him. He even had to wear a special pair of iron gloves so as not to hurt himself when he threw it or when he caught it.

British professor dies as escalator collapses at Italian rail station
London Telegraph

Like a bolt outta the blue, this teacher's life ended in a most unexpected way.

Teacher punished: Licence revoked over tryst with teen student
Toronto Sun

One guess where this copy writer was surfing the night before he/she wrote "A leggy phys-ed teacher had her licence revoked yesterday over a tryst with a teenaged student." A Google Search of leggy teacher has 77 search results, none of them apparently safe for work.

The End of the World
endofworld.swf via Metafilter

We rarely link to flash animations, but since Thor is pissed and leggy 26 year old teachers are taking 16 year old students home and escalators are opening up and swallowing people, the end is probably nigh.

Tuesday 28 October

FBI: al-Qaeda detainee spoke of fire plot
USA Today

I don't know if you've been following Dave Barry's blog, but he's all over this angle, blaming the terrorists for everything from solar wind storms to farting dog toys.,

'Price Is Right' Announcer Rod Roddy Dies
AP via Yahoo

"Rod Roddy, C'mon Up!"

Rod hits out at fellow rock stars
iTV.com

Rod wants what Sting, Elton and Paul have.

Red Sox Say Manager's Contract Won't Be Renewed
NY Times

The guy was five outs from going to the Big Dance and, had he done that, he surely would still have a job today.

Man Faces Deadline on Wife's Feeding Tube
AP via Yahoo

Co-editor Kay asked last week how I weigh in on the case of poor Terri Schiavo, but I haven't answered because of conflicting emotions. On the one hand I look into her eyes and I think I see intelligence. However, even admitting that, if I were judge I would defer to the judgment of her husband, Terri's legal agent, who has been wrestling with this tragedy for 13 years.

Nathaniel Heatwole vs. Steve Bartman vs. Terri Schiavo
Google Search Results

We continue to track the dwindling fifteen minutes of fame of the guy who planted boxcutters aboard a jet versus the guy who stuck out his hand at a Cubs game and permanently messed up his life versus our newcomer, the poor lady from the above link.

Today's results
Boxcutter Bloke: 1230 search results     
Foul Fellow:       1280 search results     
Terri Schiavo:     3300 search results

Speaking of Bartman, guess the newest angle.

ABC says Oswald acted alone in killing JFK
Toronto Globe and Mail

Attention, Oliver Stone.

Monday 27 October

In-car device lets drivers change stoplights; officials fear gridlock, seek to block signal
Detroit News

OMG, is this crazy or what?

San Diego is Burning
Citizen Smash

Blogging the Socal flames.

French bombs in Baghdad
London Sun

The friend of my enemy is my enemy.

Report: Capitol Was Sept. 11 Attackers Fourth Goal
UN-Cast News Wire

Not surprising, even though the article states that most people thought the White House was the fourth target. If you've been to D.C, you know that the White House is sort of tucked away, while the big white dome of the Capital can be seen for miles.

Bertuzzi gets his deal
Edmonton Sun

The guy I love to hate re-ups.

At least 10 killed in California wildfires
CNN

Take a look at this remarkable, animated satellite site.. Suddenly snow doesn't seem so bad. Our Oldest Son Tommy, aka Enko, lives atop a nearby mountain. Be careful, son!.

Apple unleashes Panther OS
iT News {Australia}

Ah, I've found my new machine.

Baghdad hotel attack possibly took couple of months to plan
Toronto Globe and Mail

Shows you the luck in this. We bomb a building, that we knew Saddam was in, five minutes after he left. They bomb a building they know we use and, when they do, our number one guy over there happens to be present.

Cohen, Kunuk invested with Order of Canada
CBC

Anytime I can pimp my favorite songwriter, Leonard Cohen, I will.

Friday 24 October

'She hit me harder than most men could,' says Liza's karate bodyguard
London Telegraph

Back when she was a teen and doing those duets with her mother most of us oooh'ed and ahhh'ed when we should have really been thinking about how horrid it must have been to have had Judy Garland as a mother. Now we're getting a glimpse.

Marlins simply better than Yanks
MLB.com

Okay, all of you Yankee-Haters, it's time to come out of the closet!

US Rep. Pelosi says Wal-Mart arrests "terrorizing"
Forbes.com

I asked it about Bush and I'll ask it about Pelosi: "Exactly what planet is she living on?"

Coke to Roll Out Cholesterol-Reducing Orange Juice
FoxNews

Remember when Coke was teaching "the world to sing, in perfect harmony"? Well, they're still marketing heavily to the same group, only the focus has changed just a tad. The Boomers are no longer interested in world harmony....they just want to live.

Jesus actor struck by lightning
BBC

The guy who plays "Jesus" in the new Mel Gibson movie got hit by lightning for the second time during filming? Isn't this the film that's not in English, but rather in Latin? I don't think God likes that. One bolt outta the blue and I'd write it off as a coincidence....but two direct hits? It's crystal clear. God is pissed. They better redo it in English. Quick. Maybe from a bunker, deep in some mountain where God can't reach them.

After 15 months in a plush bungalow, the Allotts have moved out. Why? They lived in ...
London Sun

Listen to Mr. Allott, probably not the brightest dude you will ever meet: "it got to the point where I dreaded reciting our address." It had to get to that point? He wasn't embarrassed early on, like when he gave his mother or father instructions to his new house?

Prince Goes Door To Door For Jehovah's Witnesses
Pitchfork Daily Music News

So, that's what happened to the guy with the raspberry beret.

Mme. Chiang Kai-shek Dead At 106
CBS News

Holy hell, she was still alive? And check out this incredible line: "The cause of death was not immediately available, Taiwan's Foreign Ministry spokesman Richard Shih said Friday." My beloved Mother-in-Law wonders if Mme. Chiang Kai-shek was a smoker.

TV analyst misses managing
ESPN

Interesting to hear Bobby Valentine, in his post-game World Series report, say that he has an offer from Japan on the table and that he would decide "next week." Translated that means "Hey, Boston....listen up: Make me an offer or I am going East." In other baseball news, the Boston Herald is reporting that Grady Little will be canned Monday. The only surprise there is that he wasn't fired the second he failed to pull Pedro in that fateful 8th.

An Open Letter
Mellencamp.com

A little ditty from John and Elaine
Two American kids, trying to keep the world sane.
John about finished as a rock star
Elaine debutante backseat of John's car.

Few Viewers and Network Executives Scratch Their Heads
NY Times

An interesting stat: "So far this year nearly 20 percent fewer men in that advertiser-friendly demographic, 18-24, are watching television during prime time than during the same period last year." I think what we have here is the inevitable result of fragmentation. Too many choices, led by video games and the net. I am betting this is just the start of a trend that will eventually see the demise of the "major networks" that have dominated the tube for decades.

Elliott Smith Dead at 34
Pitchfork Daily

Further tribute to the late troubled tunesmith.

X10 Files for Bankruptcy Protection
AP via Yahoo

You recall X10's pop-up ads that were everywhere online, it seemed, for about 18 months? Typically, they would be touting some kind of home security but would feature some weird kind of ad, showing a mini-skirted one bobbing up and down? They will not be missed. Meanwhile, in other online news, there is startling news: Spam Beginning to Hurt E-Mail Use, Report Says. People got paid to report this?

Thursday 23 October

Steve Bartman vs. Nathaniel Heatwole.
Google Search Results

The guy who screwed up his life by reaching for a foul ball leads the guy who planted boxcutters on a Southwest plane, but the lead is shrinking, 1230-1010. Look out, though....the Falls jumper, Kirk Jones, is picking up speed with 694 hits.

Australia told it has too many whites to be part of Asia
London Telegraph

By that criterion, it must be either in Europe or North America.

Singer Elliott Smith Dead in Apparent LA Suicide
Reuters

Sad news. Smith was sort of a modern, one-man Beatles, with a very melancholic tinge.

'Magic' wooden penis saves woman
Ananova

Headline of the month, narrowly beating out Stiff Discipline After Schoolboy's Viagra Prank.

Man faces trial in dog sex case
Westland Observer

Craziness in my old hometown: Westland is but one suburb over from Canton, where the Falls jumper hails from. Speaking of which, it should come as no surprise that the jumper was very depressed but now has reason to live. {translated that means he sees money on the horizon}

Wednesday 22 October

Defense memo: A grim outlook
USA Today

Internal Rumsfeld memo states, not surprisingly, that we are in for a "long, hard slog" in both Iraq and Afghanistan. What did he expect, a wild, victory parade? The sooner we can hand things over to the UN, the better. Also, I didn't know the meaning of slog. Check out the 1913 Webster's definition,: "To hit hard, esp. with little attention to aim or the like, as in cricket or boxing; to slug." One could argue that's exactly what we did in both Afghanstan and Iraq, allowing bin Laden and Hussein to slip away.

Falls Fall: 'Impulsive,' 'Stupid'
CBS News

Turns out the Falls jumper is from suburban Detroit, which probably makes him a fellow Wings fan. {insert joke here} Anyone who has been to the Falls knows this was not an impulsive act, it was insane. Just listen to him state the obvious, "I was immediately enveloped by what seemed like tons of water." What did he expect...he had joined the 150,000 gallons a second, headed over the edge!

Christopher Hitchens: The pope beatifies Mother Teresa, a fanatic, a fundamentalist, and a fraud.
Slate

Hitch, always a delight to read, continues his unbelievably unpopular anti-MT rant.

Maple Leaf Gardens sold to division of Loblaws grocery store chain
Canada.com

The home of Johnny Bower, Bob Pulford, Dave Keon and Eddie Shack to become a food store? Say it isn't so, T.O..

Cops: Man steals ID of sex offender
SexCriminals.com

This one's a month old, but it's too good to pass. Thanks to JP for sharing it.

Sick Airline Hoax
NY Post

Let's look at Nathaniel Heatwole, the fellow who planted the boxcutters on that Southwest jet. Perhaps one should look at Mr Heatwole, who by the way has 855 Google results as compared to 1200 for Steve Bartman, as a crusader for safety. Sure, he broke the law and should get some time, but he discovered an obvious flaw in security, one that can, therefore, be addressed. {we hope}. If I were the judge I would look at this as more of a civil disobedience type of offense and not a sick hoax.

Tuesday 21 October

How to Help Hockey
MSNBC

We leave politics, sex and baseball behind tonight to have our first look at the new puck season as we examine Windsor Star columnist Bob Duff's ten ideas to "help" hockey. First of all, I'm not all that sure that hockey needs "help," other than a little contraction. Of course, if you live in Calgary, Nashville, Tampa Bay or Pittsburgh you'd rightfully disagree, but those teams, and a few others, probably should go, but some of these ideas are goofy.
"Full two minute power plays"? Too radical. Scoring would soar until the playoffs when the refs would hesitate to alter the games.
"Shrink goalies, bend sticks"? Did anyone happen to see the comparison photos Sports Illustrated ran a few weeks ago that showed the difference in size between the pads of a 50's goalie and Patrick Roy's? They're at least 40% larger today.
"In with the shootout"? No, no, no, no, NO!!!! They have this, of course, in the Olympics and it leaves me cold. Keep that soccer-crap out.
"return to one ref"? Amen.
"Enlarge the ice surface"? Another bad idea. Let's not treat Olympic hockey as the greatest thing in the world, though I did like their quick faceoffs.
"Make Brett Hull Commissioner"? Not this year, baby....he's got some more goals to score for my beloved Wings, who lost to Les Habs, 2-1, tonight.

Monday 20 October

General: We're in a 'Spiritual Battle'
Newsday

We couldn't open the week without addressing Army Lt. Gen. William "Jerry" Boykin's recent comments that "our" Christian God is the real god. And this guy is our deputy undersecretary for intelligence? I like Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, comment that "At first blush, it doesn't look like any rules were broken." The entire command should be blushing over this guy's remarks. Of course he has the right to comment about religion, but not in his official position. One-sixth of the world's population is now Muslim and we need calmer heads at the command or we'll never make any leeway in "the Arab street." Send him over to talk radio. I hear Rush Limbaugh needs a fill-in.

Saturday 18 October

Secondhand Smoke Scam
FoxNews

Co-editor Kay sends in this link.
Lately when we stroll into a crowded restaurant I've been telling the Maitre D, if that's what you call the person who handles seating at an Olive Garden, that we'll take a smoking or non-smoking table, whichever opens up first. We don't allow smoking in our house, but, when you're hungry, standards slip.
I can't imagine a bar not being smoky. Bars, bowling alleys, bingo halls, jail....these are places where people smoke. Or did smoke, before the advent of the Smoking Police. Police, apparently, are now roaming around, looking for smoking-perps. Kay's link shows that much of the issue is, at best, overrated, overemphasized and misguided. People smoke for the same reason that they drink. The same reason that they watch so much TV or overeat or kick the cat. Stress. Living is stressful. The spectre of dying is stressful and these moral patrol dogs are not helping matters.

Friday 17 October

The most dramatic baseball semifinals ever finally ended at 12:16 a.m. this morning and before your eyes cloud over with indifference I'd like to share some thoughts.

--I won't go back into the Bartman story, other than to wonder which state he's headed for. I'd vote Idaho.

--Have you noticed how common it is for games that start in the Eastern Time Zone to end past midnight? How can any kid under the age of 10 stay up that long? Sports are hurting themselves in the long run over this, as a whole generation of kids are snoozing instead of storing memories.

--I knew the hero of at least one series would have a Detroit angle and, sure enough, it happened as Aaron Boone slammed the game winning homer to win it for the Yanks. Boone is the grandson of former journeyman Ray Boone, who played in Detroit from '54-58, back when I was a grade schooler, storing memories.

--Have you noticed how so many Latin players salute the heavens after making a good play? They pause and then dramatically point upwards, often then kissing their fingers. It's a tribute to God, no doubt, but I keep wondering why, when they screw up, they don't flick off the devil, by giving the finger to the ground?

--Finally, I was rather amazed to see how many drug ads permeated the broadcast. In Game 7 alone, Tums, Rolaids, Pirilosec OTC, Nicoderm, Levitra and Viagra were regularly pimped. Man, the boomers have taken over and they are one sick bunch. They seem to mostly have a lot of upset stomachs and the guys have trouble getting it up. The ads for Viagra and Levitra were especially interesting because they artfully never mention what they're for. Levitra wants you "back in the game" while Viagra has slugger Rafael Palmeiro telling us that he comes up big with it. This reminds me of the purple pill ads that ran last year when Nexium was introduced. They never mentioned why you would need it, only that it was purple and that you needed it. I heard that spot so many times that I wanted it. I needed it, but I was disappointed to find, after visiting their website, that I didn't have acid reflux so I couldn't get a prescription. Dammit.

--Anyway, I know it upsets frequent commenter POL that people reflexively hate the Yankees, but too bad. This latest pennant is the 39th they've won since 1921. Enough already. Go Fish!

Thursday 16 October

Meet Steve Bartman
The Smoking Gun

My advice to Steve? Get the hell outta town, ASAP. Tonight! Meanwhile, tomorrow brings us Pedro vs. Roger and odds are we'll see that curse continue as well.

Beyonce Knowles says God won't let her kiss girls
The Advocate

Apparently Beyonce has a divine pipeline because iafrica.com reports that God's OK with Stripping. I wonder if she could ask who will win Saturday's Powerball. When God starts telling her stuff like that, that's when I'll start believing.

Cardinals consider moves to press for Pope's resignation
The Independent {UK}

The words "Pope" and "resign" do not belong inthe same sentence. Popes do not resign...they either die on their own or at the hands of another.

Dawn of the Dead on 'The Sopranos'
Hollywood Reporter via Yahoo

The pub machine for the upcoming season finally starts up.

Wednesday 15 October

Scientists Seek To Build Elevator 62,000 Miles Tall
KIROtv.com (Seattle)

Looking into my crystal ball I see a Ron Howard film about saving the crew who are stuck at the 47,000 mile mark.

400 Military Bombs, Weapons Found In Dead Man's Home
local6.com (Daytona)

More fodder for Michael Moore.

Teenagers 'too idle' to bother with good food
London Telegraph

This is our 15 yr old Steve in a nutshell.

Nebraska Player Caught On Video Assaulting Mizzou Fan
WFTV.com (Daytona)

Vote for the cheapest shot: There certainly was a rush of thug-like type behaviour last Saturday in the sports world. First, there was this cheap shot at a Missouri fan. Next, an Ohio State player choked the Wisconsin quarterback while deep in a scrum and then there were the two hated Yankees allegedly assaulting the Red Sox grounds crew fellow, who also works as an eighth-grade special education teacher.

Tuesday 14 October

Ed Asner: 'Hannity's next ... just like we went after Limbaugh'
WorldNetDaily

When asked whom he would like to portray, Asner picked....nah, read it yourself...you will NEVER guess....What an idiot.

Cable Network Will Aim at 'Younger, Hipper' Audience
AdAge.com

Bad news for Yours Truly. The station was originally owned by the CBC and this has allowed me, here in rural Ohio, to watch "The News At 11", etc. Now it'll become just another American station.

Doubts tearing France apart
Manchester Guardian

BIL will love this one....they even have a term for it: "declinism."

Silent Responsibility
New Yorker

As the credits have rolled through the decades, I've often wondered just what a best boy does.

Monday 13 October

A Toronto cop's plea to Bill Gates
Toronto Globe and Mail

Ah, a modern day hero. Two of them, in fact.

UN takes a swing at Canada over spanking
Vancouver Sun

Let's put this thing into context: 16 are dead in a Bolivian city....a psychiatric patient in Belarus set fire to a mental hospital, killing 31....yet another car bomb in Baghdad kills six....every 14 seconds a person between 15 and 24 is infected with HIV...and the hated Yanks are up 2-1 in their series with the Red Sox. Yet the UN is worried about spanking in Canada? Check out this page, which lists the per-capita murder rates of the top 100 countries. Poland, the U.S., and India all beat out those dangerous spankers in Canada.

Is Sex Necessary?
Forbes.com

I especially like the reduced risk of heart disease.

Hikers find 140 buttered shoes
News.com.au

OK, any theories?

Friday 10 October

Siegfried Says Tiger Was Trying to Help
AP via Yahoo

A followup to Kay's comment yesterday about this headline with a quote from a wildlife expert that radically differs from Siegfreid's romantic view. The bottom line is that these are wild animals and contact, such as that bear nut up in Alaska who got himself and his girlfriend killed, will always be risky.

Bush Says Iraq Is 'Better Than You Probably Think'
Washington Post

Well, I think it's a place dominated by strip malls, each one containing a Chinese Restaurant named "The Lucky Panda" or "Panda Express" or "American Panda" and each strip has a Blockbuster and a Starbucks and Max and Erma's or An Outback and a bank with an ATM drive thru and a huge supermarket and maybe a Walmart, Sam's Club or Costco.

Baghdad rocked by fresh violence
MSNBC

Makes you wonder what planet Bush is living on.

Spears denies going after more mature audience
Toronto Globe and Mail

'Look, if you want me to be some kind of sex thing, that's not me." Hmmm, apparently Spears is on the same planet as George W..

Thursday 09 October

What's the "Scroll Lock" key on my computer for?
The Straight Dope

I don't ever remember using it, even in the dark, old DOS days.

Subway to sell Kids Pak meal that focuses on health
AzCentral.com

I don't see where substituting a Fruit Roll Up for a cookie and a Hi-C for a small soda "focuses on health." Kudos, however, to Wendy's which is now selling a nice-sized melon cup.

Mexican shot by his own dog
Ananova

Uh-oh, I detect a trend. First, Roy's tiger decides enough is enough and decides not to take that smack on the snout lying down. Then this Mexican dog plugs his owner. We all should be very very careful tonight.

Motorist seeking U-turn in plate tiff
DeseretNews.com

This reminds me of that old Candid Camera bit where they set up shop at the License Plate Bureau and tried to get customers to accept personalized plates such as "I AM STUPD." It was hilarious as they, straight-faced, told their fuming customers that it read "I am stup-ped" not "I am stupid."

Wednesday 08 October

Microsoft lays out 'Project Green' revamp
ZDnet

I don't know anything about Microsoft's Project Green, but we've changed net.Headline's color scheme, away from green, and any and all comments are certainly welcome.

The Blogging Iceberg - Of 4.12 Million Hosted Weblogs, Most Little Seen, Quickly Abandoned
Perseus

66% of all blogs have not been updated in the past two months and the vast majority of all blogs are dropped within one year. We are well into our third year with a small, but stable, core of regulars and I'd like to thank everyone for hanging in. Your comments make the page.

Md. First Lady: She Would 'Shoot Britney Spears'
nbc4Columbus.com

Odd that a public figure's spouse would flippantly use such imagery. While we're on the subject of fippant imagery, U2's lead singer and human rights advocate Bono's use of the f-bomb during the Grammy broadcast did not violate FCC standards, with the FCC ruling that "the use of specific words, including expletives or other 'four-letter words' does not render material obscene." What a crock, eh? If Letterman or Leno had tried this, they would have been immediately nailed.

Chretien jokes about trying pot
Toronto Sun

Add this to the availability of Coffee Crisp, and Our Fair Neighbor to the North looks more and more inviting.

Tuesday 07 October

Oldest American Dies at 114
Yahoo News

There goes one of the very few who can remember 1905, the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. And that's why the Cubbies will be America's team and not the Red Sox, who last won in 1919.

Government Posts Enron E-Mail Online
ABC News

Co-Editor Kay sends in this reminder why it may be very risky to send private email from work.

In School of Rock, Jack Black helps kids find their inner headbanger
Slate.com

My Darling Wife liked this one more than I. It was a bit too formulaic for me, but was still fun.

Dennis Miller a menace, Sir Elton tells crowd
Las Vegas Sun

The left has no problem with their legion of comics attacking Bush, but when the tables are turned, it's fun to watch the whining start.

Monday 06 October

Future of Siegfried & Roy Show in Doubt
Yahoo News

Some interesting stats: There were no previous attacks in over 5000 shows and 267 show employees have been told to look for new work.

Zanesville pastor says former state hospital not haunted by ghosts
Zanesville Times Recorder

I noticed my Darling Wife took a shot at me in the comments last week, implying I am snooty about the local press. Well, yeah, I am! And here's a perfect example of why.

Cheese and pickle sandwich is cut above the rest
Ananova

"The cheese and pickle sandwich has been crowned the best." I've never had a pickle and cheese sandwich. Don't tell me it's better than the PB&J, peanut butter and Jalapeno!

Winnipeg artist uses public money for pubic-hair display
CBC Arts News

If I lived in Manitoba, I'd be upset, but then I could walk down the the corner store and buy a Coffee Crisp, my all-time fave candy bar, which is not available Stateside.

Friday 03 October

Biological Basis For Creativity Linked To Mental Illness
Science News

This quote reminds me of our Oldest Son Tommy when he played defense on his 10 yr old soccer team. {And, no, I am not saying OST is mentally ill.} "The normal person classifies an object, and then forgets about it, even though that object is much more complex and interesting than he or she thinks. The creative person, by contrast, is always open to new possibilities." The soccer ball would be kicked into OST's defensive zone, all eyes would be on OST to sweep it out, but OST was otherwise occupied...staring at some nearby tree, or watching little bugs at his feet. Needless to say, that was the last soccer season for him. He was just too creative.

Starting today, Comcast cuts download time in half
Detroit Free Press

OST would not like to hear this though....he now lives on a mountain top at a Buddhist Centre and has to use dial up.

Confusion Lingers over the Dalai Lama's Message Regarding America's Use of Force in Afghanistan and Iraq
Buddhist News

It's no surprise that there would be some ambivalence in Buddhism concerning this. D.T.Suzuki, often considered the founder of Western Zen, supported Japanese militaristic expansion in the 1930's. Some would argue that the Buddhist belief in formlessness was responsible, for a large part, for the mindless subordination of the WWII Japanese soldiers. No word, yet, on why their German counterparts killed millions of Jews, Russians, Germans, Poles, Brits, Roumanians, Gypsies, Canadians and Americans.

Thursday 02 October

Schwarzenegger bark may prove worse than bite in first 100 days
SF Gate

Looks like the California press is conceding this thing.

United States Women Beat Rival Norway
NY Times

I don't want to sound like Rush Limbaugh here, but why was this item a lead article on the front page of this evening's cyber NY Times, complete with photo? Very, very few people care about women's soccer. Look at cable TV, there's no market for it. You can tune in to a 24 hr basketball channel, a 24 hr golf channel, etc....but women's soccer can't be found. It's off the map. Yet the nation's leading liberal paper trumpets it. Do the math.
NY Times login: edortals password: edportals

McDonald's in Renton adds espresso bar
Seattle Times

My McDonald's threads drive frequent cmmenter BIL nuts, but I'm very interested in how the Golden Archers are handling declining revenues, since America has apparently become bored with the Big Mac.

Wednesday 01 October

Sunscreen may not prevent cancer
MSNBC

Everything you know is false.

Man Charged With Kidnapping Mr. Potato Head
TurntoTen.com {Providence, R.I.}

Probably those damned terrorists.

The picture we wouldn't print
The Week {Walworth County, Wisconsin}

Rural newspaper chooses not to only run this photo online because, the editor states, it "is something I wouldnąt want my kids to see in the Sunday morning paper." Had my local paper printed it, I would have gathered the kids around the table and told them what this monster did and then showed them the photo.

A Photo Op: O Say, Can You See the Eiffel Tower?
NY Times

Check out Laura Bush's priceless expression. Frequent Commenter POL should get a big kick out of this. Is this close enough, POL, to "kissing french heine" ?

Tuesday 30 September

Turner not optimistic about world's future
Atlanta Journal Constitution

Covering all bases: He thinks the world may end in the next fifty years, but, just in case it doesn't he's going to start showing old 'Sex and the City' reruns on TBS.

Orangutans Could Go Extinct in 20 Years
ABC News

Hmmm, it seems to be "the sky is falling day." The article points out that 1/10th of the existing Orangutans live in a threatened area. How that becomes "extinct in twenty years" beat the hell out of me.

Special report: history shows hurricanes are not rising
New Scientist

Finally, some sanity. Note to Apocalytics Everywhere: the sky is not falling. Chill out, go inside and turn on Sex and the City.

Monday 29 September

The Surprises of Suicide Terrorism
Discover Magazine

Love this wide-ranging bit which takes a deep look first at suicide bombers then sets its sights on religion.

John Paul II Appoints 31 New Cardinals
Zenit News Agency

I bet this ensures a non-Italian as the next Pope.

General Clark says he'd relieve Rumsfeld of his command
PoliticsNH.com

I hate articles like this. Of course Clark would fire Rummy. He'd fire Bush's entire cabinet, given the chance, but the reality is that should Bush lose, his cabinet will resign, effective inauguration day.

Competition Leads to Sunday Banking Hours
Newsday

Our local Hooterville bank has had Sunday hours for over a year, but remember when they were only open 25 hours a week? Monday thru Friday, 10 a.m till 3 p.m.?

Friday 26 September

Poland in Iraq
The Arbiter

Today's links go out to Frequent Commenter BIL who is about to visit the land of his {and my} ancestors, Poland. We start with this rather simple look at why Polish troops are in Iraq. Why? I'd bet on money and security, not this condescending nonsense: "maybe because they are used to being tutored and told how to run their lives, just like in the good old times when they were just a part of the Soviet empire."

Poland's Economic Growth Gaining Steam
Miami Herald

Well, it's a matter of perspective. We're still talking about a 17% jobless rate and low optimism so, despite The Herald's rosy view, I would guess, that BIL's dollars will go far there.

German-Polish ties lauded
FAZ.net

My beloved Polish Grandmother used to tell me that "the only thing worse than a Russian is a German." Or was it the other way around? Whichever, I'm betting that hostility towards these two giants, who used to run back and forth across Poland as if it were a football field, still runs very deep. But BIL's an American, so he should be welcomed with open arms. Have a good time, bro, and check in from a net cafe to heckle us, if you can.

Thursday 25 September

Federal Court Rules Against Do-Not-Call List
FoxNews

Co-Editor Kay, back from her week of hiding from Isabel, sent this one in with the following sizzling attack: "c'mon, this is b.s.. Poor widdle telemarketers losing money because they're shoving themselves into our lives because it's their right? I don't make a living by shoving my rights into someone else's face." Stop fretting, Kay, I am betting this gets dumped on appeal.

Falsely bleak reports reduce our chances of success in Iraq
Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Frequent Commenter BIL passes this one along, adding "did you see this on ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN? In The Manchester Guardian, The Nation, or Slate? Did you hear it on NPR? Me either." It's a fair counter-argument, BIL, up to the point where he goes over the top: "We may need a few credible Baghdad Bobs to undo the harm done by our media. I'm afraid it is killing our troops." Is he saying the car bombs would stop if we didn't cover them? And even if we didn't cover them, do you think Al-Jazeere would follow suit?

A New Kind of Revolution in the Dorms of Dartmouth
NY Times

Nice try by the University, but the groundwork has already been laid in Minnesota to stop this kind of thing. The utilities will not go down without a HUGE fight.

9/11/01: Where Was George?
The Nation

The types of questions he will have to face.

US soldier kills rare tiger
News24.com {South Africa}

More bad news for George W. as a couple of drunken idiots screw up.