Monday April 30

Grimacing Congressman Quickly Drafts Legislation For Charley-Horse Research
The Onion
We start our week with a visit to The Onion.

Eddie Van Halen has cancer
Salon.com
The 44 yr old rocker declines to identify the type of cancer.

Baby Not Crawling? Reason Seems to Be Less Tummy Time
NY Times
Here's an interesting article: babies seem to be skipping the crawling stage and it might have to do with the current dictum to have them sleep on their backs.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Goodbye to Pelee Island
National Post
We've been following this story for months and finally writer Jane Christmas ends it as she bids goodbye to her winter getaway and returns to the big city.

On Language by William Safire
NY Times
The Times' word maven looks back at the recent American spy plane incident to discern the differences between "regret," "apology" and being "sorry."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Strom in the Balance
NY Times
With the US Senate deadlocked 50-50, the health of 98 year old Strom Thurmond, president pro tempore of the Senate and, therefore, third in line for the presidency, is of extreme importance.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Judge: Labels wrong on Napster
Salon.com
A small victory for Napster as the record labels now must identify each pirated song listed, and since the uploader names the songs, there can be an unlimited number of listings for each song.

China cracks down on extramarital affairs
Toronto Star
They are doing so to stop "the corrosive effect of extramarital affairs on families and society." Sounds like church.

Will suppressing a sneeze give you a brain aneurysm?
Straight Dope
Or how about screaming during a sneeze like a certain mother-in-law that I know?

SAT Question of the Day
Collegeboard.com
Oops, missed this one. But it was 5:30 in the morning.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Responses To The Question, "How Fat Is Al Gore?" My fave response is #3: "He's so fat, he had one of Dick Cheney's heart attacks."

On This Day
NY Times
On this day in 1900 a legend was born as "Casey" Jones died at the throttle of his train.

A Time for Mercy
Village Voice
On weekends we turn away from the mainstream press and look, instead, to the best of the Weekly Alternative Press and we start, as always, with the venerable Village Voice. Here's a follow-up of their earlier story of the rabbi who got busted for dispensing medical marijuana.

Consumer Guide by Robert Christgau
Village Voice
Christgau is a rock critic dean in this University of Jams.

Joey Ramone Leaves Home
Phoenix New Times
Nice tribute to punk's bad boy.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
Little flecks of factoid flavor for the coded oatmeal of your mind.

Jesus of the Week
Phoenix New Times
This week we get a glimpse of the Hard R-rated savior.

Living Out by Shelly Sheklow
Eugene Weekly
Fine lesbian writer cheers gender ambiguity and she gets in a fine dig at Pat Robertson, to boot.

Alexander Cockburn: Hold the Oven Cleaner
NY Press
The ole' curmudgeon reminisces about food poisoning and looks forward to seeing the Republicans flop in '02.

The Bagman
LA New Times
*LONG* story of how Eddie Murphy funneled hush money to his accusers back when he was caught with a transexual in his car several years ago.

The Nessie Files: Drug wars
sfbg.com
Nessie is the Bay Guardian's resident Conspiracy Freak who wants you to "turn off your computer and read some books on the war on drugs"

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Denver Westword
Sex advice columnist Savage ditches the nice-guy letters.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
Marisha ditches all her mail to rant about the new movie Center of the World, whose web site has some neat flash effects.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
Weekly sex columnist argues with her reader about the sexuality of 1950's actresses.

Think Spring
Eugene Weekly
In case you thought all the Weekly Alternative Press did was write about sex, here's an article about {gasp!} gardening.

Friday April 27

Cure for Anorexia Discovered; 'Eat' Say Researchers
The Satyr
We start Friday with advice from The Satyr..

The wrong kind of black
Salon.com
Nice piece in which a Black writer explains why she feels neither vicitimized nor brutalized.

My Idea of Heaven
London Telegraph
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, dying from prostate cancer, grants one last interview

Downey's ilk responsible for Colombian drug problem: Powell
Yahoo Hong Kong News
He didn't mention Downey by name, but the reference was unmistakeable.

Women are more sickly yet more durable, study finds
National Post
My mother is the sickly-sort. 34 yrs ago my dad, who was never sick, told me we had to go hack ot the campgrounds early because mom was sick. Dad dropped dead that night. Mom is still sick. So, I don't even have to read this.

Hunter S Thompson: Bad Craziness At Owl Farm
ESPN
Hunter sneaks in a bet against Lennox Lewis at the last minute, but nothing comes easy.

McVeigh Considered Killing Reno
NY Times
Angry about Waco, he killed innocent people instead.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Latest Survivor Results
Canoe.ca
They're down to three with one two-hour show to go and the last fifteen minutes of next week's show will be aired live.

Current Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
America's most famous movie reviewer is not too happy with this week's new flicks.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy math question today.

Do Insects Pass Gas?
Straight Dope
Who would come up with a question like this?

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review. Speaking of sex, Ananova reports that Praise from the boss 'is better then sex'. A thrill the self-employed can apparently never know.

Today in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1986 Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault on live TV. I remember this farce and it's surprising Geraldo's career withstood it.

Judge Orders Man Who Beheaded Dog to Read 'Lassie'
Reality Bites
We start Thursday with the strange, but true.

Salon.com Launches Premium Subscription Service
Yahoo PR News
$30 a year will get you the good stuff, which includes access to "Premium-only galleries of erotic art and photography in Salon Sex."

To love, honour and deceive
BBC
Male scientists offer interesting theory: When the female of the species hides her fertility the male stays around. In other species, where the fertility is obvious to all and cannot be hidden, the male is gone.

Miss Universe festivities soured because of Internet rumor
SF Gate
An outline of the biggest non-story of the year.

New boxing champ in car accident
Toronto Globe and Mail
Even newly-crowned Heavyweight Champions of the World should buckle up.

Andrew Sullivan: Watch It
The New Republic
This past weekend we linked to a Village Voice article, written by Nat Hentoff, The State Closes Our Eyes as It Kills. Sullivan's argument differs, but they're both fine thinkers.

Today In Rotten History
rotten.com
Abraham Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth was cornered in a burning barn and shot dead by Sgt. Boston Corbett on April the 26th. Sgt. Corbett, it tuns out, was pretty nutty himself.

Show #1592
The Wahoo Gazette
A cute synopsis of Dave Letterman's Tuesday night show with guests Billy Crystal and The Bee Gees.

Microsoft Aquires The Centers For Disease Control And Prevention
The Indignant Online
We start Wednesday with an exclusive from The Indignant.

Scientists say men, women not alike
Salon.com
Comedians have been saying this for years.

Could reigning Miss France be a monsieur?
London Telegraph
On the other hand, maybe it's not so easy to see the differences.

Here's to you, Ms. Robinson
Salon.com
An ode to the host of The Weakest Link. And Slate.com keeps right in step with their piece "The Brits Do It Better."

Escalating insight into a subway friend
Toronto Globe and Mail
Writer lost her subway friend when she discovered he was famous.

Mitch Albom: Here's why Wings lost — and how to fix them
Detroit Free Press
Well, Henry, have you gotten over the loss yet? Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie, echoes my sentiments exactly: do not panic, but, just for the record, here's another point of view: Experts: Time to retool.

Maureen Dowd: The Gabbiest Generation
NY Times
Dowd liked the WWII generation better when they were silent.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

U.S. dollar only way to go, bank suggests
Vancouver Sun
"The Toronto Dominion bank said Tuesday that it can see a Canada in the not too distant future in which Canadians may want the U.S. dollar as their national currency." The border, my friends, is falling through osmosis. So, let's speed up the process. Canada can become 10 new states; Quebec can go its own way; and you guys up north get to keep your own NHL division. In return, we'll ban handguns. Seems fair to me. Oh, one problem, however remains: What to do with Celine Dion?

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one wrapped in yards of print.

Did Bob Dylan lift "Blowin' in the Wind" from a high school yearbook?
Straight Dope
Something is happening here, but you don't know what it is. Do you, Mr. Jones?

Bush Claims US Is Not A Melting Pot; A Melting Pot Is A Utensil For Reducing Solids While US Is A Federation Of States
Herd of Sheep
We start Tuesday with a trip to the nutty "herd of sheep."

Internet used as sex aid by women
Ananova
And by men, of course, but that's like saying the sky is blue.

Angelina Jolie wears husband's blood around her neck
Ananova
"Oh my," gasped my darling wife, "that doesn't sound mentally healthy."

The arch enemies of Italian tradition
Sydney Morning Herald
Love this quote: "Better a day of tortellini than 100 days of hamburgers."

Siamese twin 'may fly home in fortnight'
London Telegraph
An update to the story we followed so closely last summer, the separation of Jodie and Mary.

Right royal Google
London Telegraph
A profile of University if Michigan grad Larry Page, co-founder of the best search engine on earth, google.com

Over disputed book, Vatican official bars priest from teaching
Boston Globe
So, if the Church teaches that only through Jesus may one enter heaven, what about the theoretical Hindu lad who never heard of Christ but who died young because he gave up his life to save a theoretical baby from drowning?

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison returns with loads of advice, including one problem which we have all faced at one time: "My boyfriend is always making jokes. What can I do?"

Shrinks analyze Tony Soprano's Infidelity
Slate.com
The analysis continues.

On This Day
NY Times
Barbra Streisand, Shirley McLaine and St. VIncent dePaul were all born on April the 24th.

Is there really a race of blue people?
Straight Dope
I don't know a thing about the Blue Fugates. although my better half had heard of them, and we've seen and loved The Blue Man Group, but they're not a race, but I do know that my wife's brothers and I are blue today since our beloved Red Wings were bounced out of the playoffs. By the way my brothers, I vote not to panic. We had two Hall of Famers unexpectedly out. Next year will be different.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I continue to miss the math questions with alarming regularity.

Accountants Pack Times Square For Fiscal New Year
The Onion
We start the week with a visit to The Onion. Happy Fiscal New Year, everybody!

The dangers of boozing and banking
BBC
A new survey says bank customers are plunging their personal finances into chaos with boozy late-night online banking sessions.

Time to buy a new computer -- but why?
Salon.com
Been thinking of getting a new machine because the prices have dropped? This columnist says don't. But, you protest, you have a tax refund check, earmarked for a new machine? Detroit Free Press columnist Susan Tompor advises Getting a refund? Pay bills or save it

Sucker Punch Stuns Lennox
London Sun
The heavyweight champion "was knocked senseless" the Sun reports while the the BBC, on the other hand, calmly writes that the British legend "looked a tired and concussed figure as he lay on the canvas."

On Language: Schtick
NY Times
William Safire's weekly look at words.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Gabriela Sabatini says she doesn't mind a man with a belly
Anonova
Neither does my darling wife.

'My mobster days are over'
London Telegraph
The Sopranos are hot and that means puff pieces. Today The Telegraph profiles James Gandolfini while Canada's National Post does wise-guy Chris, Michael Imperioli.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Super easy one today.

On This Day
NY Times
William Shakespeare was born and died on April the 23rd.

Sunday April 22

Mondo Washington by James Ridgeway
Village Voice
On weekends we focus on the best of the Weekly Alternative Press and we start off, as always, with the venerable Village Voice and its look at how the downed US spy plane will affect Taiwan and Japan.

Nat Hentoff: The State Closes Our Eyes as It Kills
Village Voice
The famed civil libertarian makes a compelling argument to broadcast the McVeigh execution.

Joey 1951-2001
Village Voice
Where better to turn for an elegy to NY punkster Joey Ramone than to the the Voice? And they also stick online a 1975 review.

The Top 10 Censored Stories of 2000
Detroit Metro Times
Project Censored's annual list.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
The grains of factiod salt on your half-baked pretzel of knowledge.

Street Talk: When Was the Last Time You Had the Heebie-Jeebies ?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Always interesting 'ask-the-person-on-the-street' column.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Denver Westword
Weekly sex columnist tackles that age-old problem which we have all faced: "I am a 30 yr old straight male and find that I am mentally attracted to women my own age, but I'm physically attracted to younger women. What should I do?" Adult Content.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
The second of our weekly quartet of Alternative Press sex columnists misses Phil Hartman.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
Weekly BDSM columnist has found a strong, beautiful and domineering Mistress who lives near you.

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal Hour
We finish up our weekly look at sex with Vogel and her look at odd fetishes.

Canada admits lying about its population to stop the US from invading.
Webloid News
We stumble back into action with this exclusive: "there are only 3 million Canadians, not 30 million."

Fur Flies On US Telly Link
London Sun
Puff piece about Detroit lawyer Jill Chenault, 40 taking on acerbic game show host Anne Robinson the other night on The Weakest Link. What the article doesn't say is that, despite her bravado, attorney Jill was none too sharp, not knowing the difference, for example, between Gandhi and The Dalai Lama. The Sun, by the way, keeps their links online for a very short time.

I Want A Life
National Post
Latest installment from the writer seeking refuge on "remote Pelee Island." Today she announces "I feel I'm on the verge of 'getting it'." Very convenient, since she's leaving in 2 weeks.

Philip Howard: Just wait till Odysseus gets Homer, and we'll try this translation on him
London Times
Howard, one of the brightest writers around, pens a nice tribute to translators.

Paul McCartney, Powell discuss land mines
SF Gate
It's been a week since our last Beatles link.

McGregor denies role in Kidman-Cruise split
Melbourne Age
We are not alone in watching the breakup of Tom and Nicole closely. The Age, in fact, has 2 articles today. This one about Scottish actor Ewan McGregor and also one which declares that Nicole and Tom to avoid custody battle. Meanwhile, in other news, The National Post reports that Drew Barrymore is pregnant, says husband Tom Green on Tonight Show.

Music pirates sink industry
Manchester Guardian
Perhaps Napster is not the villain. Maybe the product sucks.

Tony's Treatment Prospects
Slate.com
Sopranos post-game analysis: Four shrinks wonder if Tony's therapy is working.

Latest Survivor Results
Canoe.ca
They're down to four with the finale only two weeks away.

Cuurent Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Roger's weekly picks.

Genie In a Bottle: The Sex Drink That's Rocking Little Rock
Nerve.com
An update of the March 29 story, including a link to buy the now-notorious female love potion.

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review.

Davild Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Beauty Salon. My fave is #2: "Larry, for the last time, you're not a barber! Go sweep up the back!"

On This Day
NY Times
On this day in history Adof Hitler was born and two students went on a shooting rampage at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo., killing 12 students and one teacher before taking their own lives. The Toronto Globe and Mail reports that the parents of the Columbine killers have have agreed to pay $2.65- million to victims in a partial settlement.

You Are About To Be Fired For Reading This At Work
The Brains Trust
We start Wednesday with this warning from our British friends at The Brains Trust.

Dennis Miller's Latest Rant
HBO
In case you missed it, Dennis critiques Bush's 1st 83 Days.

'Survivor' winds down, hype ramps up
CNN
The hype is on.

My brilliant career. . . motherhood
London Telegraph
Oxford grad boldly declares that she and her best friend "regard work as a means to make a living rather than a way of defining ourselves". Yes, but what will mum tell her friends down at the senior centre?
Telegraph login: e-portals& nbsp; password: e-portals

Tuesday April 17

Hubbel Telescope Releases Never-Before Seen Photos of Best Friend's Sister
The Satyr.com
We start off Tuesday with The Satyr's report that "Scientists were stunned Monday by spectacular photographs taken by the Hubbel Telescope of Danny Arwin’s hot older sister."

New notebooks hover at $1,000
News.com
$1300 gets you one with a DVD.

In Net speed, cable modems go full throttle
Detroit Free Press
We were supposed to have cable modem installed yesterday, but, of course, something went wrong and it'll take 2-3 weeks to finally get rid of the old 28.8.

Alabama Awaits Justice At Last For 'Four Little Girls.'
NY Post
An ex-Klansman goes on trial for the 963 Sixteenth Street Baptist Church bombing which killed 14-year-olds Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson and Addie Mae Collins, and Denise McNair, 11.

Yahoo! quits porn to keep peace
Sydney Morning Herald
Not surprisingly, they folded....and, in other news, The Washington Post reports that Yahoo To Charge for Reading E-Mail. This is not the free email account, but, rather the service that reads email over the phone.

Something in Your Eye
SF Gate
Nice informational article explains why I have to take off my glasses to read, and I'm not alone: "The most extraordinary thing about presbyopia is that it happens to everybody."

Madeleine Bunting: Thousand-year chime
Manchester Guardian
A fine piece which compares religion to Brian Eno's work 'The One Thousand Year Clock', a clock that chimes every thousand years and ticks only once a year.

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube
ESPN
Hunter's subject this week is George W, Mad Cow, the stock market plunge and the "NBA and the downward spiral of dumbness."

Spielberg quits Boy Scouts over gay rights
Canoe.ca
The Supreme Court allowed the discrimination to continue, but Steven cannot abide.

No good fellas on 'Sopranos'
Boston Globe
We may be mesmerized, but let us never forget those people are monsters.

Winnie fans pooh-pooh diagnosis
Canoe.ca
We linked to the BBC report Pooh suffers 'psychological problems' last December the 13th but the fallout continues as Winnie's fans are still 'pooh'ed'-off.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I always have trouble with spatial problems.

Are goody bags a good thing?
Toronto Globe and Mail
Great article, sums up my thoughts exactly and is an excellent lead-in to our last link of the day.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today we linked to a Manchester Guardian opinion piece "Madeleine Bunting: No right to be idle" which pointed ou t the insane time trap to which parents find themselves bound. It's a great companion read to the above article re 'goody bags.'

Report: Clinton Accepted Rebate While In Office Depot
The Onion
Let's start off the week with a trip to the wacky world of The Onion.

Punk Pioneer Joey Ramone Dead at 49
MTV
Lymphatic cancer cuts down pioneer punkster.

The Cock Clock: Study Exposes Male Biological Cycle
Bust
Hey my darling wife...if the 3 youngest ever say that they would rather have been birthed, rather than have been adopted by us, we can point to this study!

Dave Barry: It's time to put your money in tin
Detroit Free Press
The great Dave tells it like it is.For example, he 'quotes' Tom Brokaw: : The stock market today went either down or up, and nobody on this earth knows why."

Front-row scramble to film Pope's end
Manchester Guardian
The best vantage points around the Vatican are being snapped up by news organizations in anticipation of JP II's death.

Why alcohol affects women more
BBC
"Women simply need to be more cautious than males in terms of the amount of drinking that they do."

On Language by William Safire
NY Times
Is it 'hoof and mouth' or 'foot and mouth'?
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Mitch Albom: My tax primer: It's really a snap
Detroit Free Press
Albom, the author of Tuesdays with Morrie, throws a pop quiz, which proves to be quite taxing.

Tim Goodman: Vicious Circle
SF Gate
NBC rolls out the Weakest Link, the latest British import, tonight and the insults will flow. Might even be better than our Sunday dinners.

Professor finds the best way to eat pasta
National Post
I watched our neighbor, Franco, eat his pasta this way some 20 years ago, but it doesn't seem to work for me.

Do crime scene investigators really draw a chalk line around the body?
The Straight Dope
I would have guessed 'yes.'

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today.

Today in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1947 at least 552 people were killed when the Liberty ship Grandcamp, carrying thousands of pounds of fertilizer, exploded outside of Texas City, destroying the ship and one-third of the town, thus creating the worst industrial accident in U.S. history.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Ways To Make Doing Your Taxes More Fun. My fave is #7: claim a deduction, do a shot!

William Blake hated Money, Churches, Society and the Concept of Sin.
Village Voice
On the weekends we turn away from the daily press and turn instead to the Best of the Weekly Alternative Press. We start off, as always, with the venerable Village Voice which this week profiles the Met's showing of that "pain in the ass" William Blake.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
Dig the groovy threads in this factoid suit, daddio!

The Secret Life of AAA
Colorado Springs Indy
Profile of AAA in which the writer claims "your friend on the road is not a friend of the environment."

Letters At 3 A.M.: The Gospel According to Hollywood
Austin Chronicle
In keeping with our Holy Week theme the Chronicle's bi-monthly columnist examines Biblical epics.

Jesus of the Week
Phoenix New Times
This week's Jesus is the BBC's recent computer-aided drawing of the Son of Man.

Living Out by Sally Sheklow
Eugene Weekly
Lesbian columnist muses about breasts.

Necrofile: Soft stupid fluffy girls
Toronto Eye
Nice rant aimed at Josie and the Pussycats, Ally McBeal and Sarah Jessica Parker. In a somewhat less clear article in The Detroit Metro Times, the writer praises female kick-butt movies and knocks the Ally McBeal-waif type roles, but seems to fail to recognize that one is as great a stereotype as the other.

Who's The Boss?
NY Observer
A long look at Carmela and Tony, Bill and Hill with a little Springsteen thrown in.

Street Talk: Does the Threat of Mad-Cow Disease Affect Your Dietary Habits?
St Louis Riverfront Times
I love the freelance pallbearer's answer in this always interesting 'ask-the-person-on-the-street' column,

Happy Fucking Birthday, Asshole
LA Weekly
Cyber columnist has a birthday in six months, so he starts trolling for gifts early by pointing readers towards some of his favorite links.

Relationship advice by Dr Carol Queen
East Bay Express Online
The good doctor talks about negotiation in S/M.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
Weekly BDSM columnist goes to a fetish flea market.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
Weekly sex advice columnist tackles "born bi or become bi"?

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Seattle Stranger
Meanwhile Dan tackles a related issue "latently lesbian part II."

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal Hour
Vogels finishes up our quartet of weekly sex advice columns by examining 'chemical reactions.'

Friday April 13

Power and weakness
London Times
We've been running links in commemoration of Holy Week all week and we continue with this editorial from today's Times in which they write so poignantly that it is "the paradox of the Christian Gospel that the power of God is demonstrated in humility and in utter weakness, in a self-emptying which identifies with our very apartness from God." How to explain that to kids? Beliefnet helps.

Grade 11 students may have found cancer link
National Post
Did you ever wander about a school science fair and marvel at the weird theories that were tested? Well, check this out: "Two teenagers have made what scientists call an exciting discovery -- that women with right-loop thumbprint patterns may be prone to certain kinds of breast cancers."

Law Professor Sees Hazard in Personalized News
NY Times
Prof worries about isolation.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Publishers Set to Pile on Napster
Wired.com
Bad news for Napster-heads: a federal judge will allow up to 27,000 music publishers to join in a class-action suit against Napster. The Melbourne Age reports that the same judge has described Napster's efforts at filtering as a disgrace. Meanwhile, ZDnet explains why Microsoft and Real Audio are working feverishly to establish mp3 alternatives.

That's "Mistress Freelancer" to you
Salon.com
When the market for her articles dried up, this tech hack became a dominatrix.

Lost In The Racks
Nerve.com
A tomboy's search for style.

Steve Buscemi, Vince Vaughn get into barroom brawl
Caone.ca
Buscemi, one of my favorite actors, is stabbed in the throat, but will be ok.

Current Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Rog likes Bridget Jones, hates Joe Dirt.

Survivor Update: The Quiet One Goes
Detroit Free Press
The Toronto Star reports that it'll be over in a 2 hour special May the 3rd..

Scrambling For His Life
LA Times
Todd Marinovich reveals why he failed in the pros: He was hooked on heroin.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today.

Will a penny on the tracks derail a train?
Straight Dope
I grew up near a freight yard and we would hide in the reeds and then run out to pick up the flattened pennies, so I already know the answer to this one. One time we went too far and lined up maybe 10 football-sized rocks on the rails and the train stopped and the engineer came out, cursing in our direction that "we will get you kids!" Then there was the time we met the bum... .

Derailed train may have been sabotaged
Canoe.ca
Oh no, not pennies!

On This Day
NY Times
On various April the 13ths: Handel's ''Messiah'' was first performed publicly, At age 21, Tiger Woods became the youngest person to win the Masters Tournament and Jack Kervorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, Mich., to 10 to 25 years in prison.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Thursday April 12

Sights set on Stanley
BBC
I'm sticking this one up for my brother-in-law Henry...Hey Hen, what an example of globalization as the BBC, of all things, picks the playoffs. And, bro, needless to say....Go Wings!, but let's cross our fingers, because Yzerman got hurt. And, this just in...we are really in trouble now, as the Freep reports that Shanahan fractured his foot.

Teenage Overload, or Digital Dexterity?
NY Times
The pros and cons of teenage multitasking. The 2nd photo will be of interest to my darling wife because our 12 yr old is often found in that same configuration.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Amazon joins forces with Borders
BBC
In a move directed squarely at BarnesandNoble.com, Borders.com tosses its lot in with Amazon.com. Left out in all of this is my favorite book site, Powells.com

'Jew against Jew is a greater threat than anything from the Arab world'
London Telegraph
We've been commemorating Holy Week with various articles this week and today we start with this look at the inner-turmoil in Judaism.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

The Millionaire questions in America
London Times
Perhaps you saw that fellow from Michigan win the big prize several nights ago. Well, here's the questions he answered. And, as comparison, here's the questions asked that same nite on the British version.

Julie Burchill: In praise of the quickie
Manchester Guardian
Columnist asks "Who wants sex to last for hours?"

I Want A Life
National Post
Writer Jane Christmas' self-imposed exile on 'remote Pelee Island' has only 3 weeks left. But, Jane that will put you smack in the middle of spring warbler migration. Surely you can't leave during that?

For Bob's a jolly good fellow
National Post
Last excerpt from a new Dylan biography. And for you Dylan-lovers, if any are out there....here's a nice trivia quiz.

Next Survivor victim anyone's guess
Canoe.ca
Richard Hatch rates the current batch. Meanwhile, The Vancouver Sun predicts that skinny Elisabeth will get tossed tonight.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
One look at this question and I knew I was sunk, yet I battled through and got it right. We'll not mention that there's a 25% chance of probability in guessing, will we?

Today in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in history: FDR and Abbie Hoffman died, Yuri Gargarin cricled the earth and Drew Barrymore flashed David Letterman from atop his Late Nite desk.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Things The Chinese Have Learned By Examining Our Spy Plane. My fave is #2: Plane is so high-tech lavatories feature futuristic blue water!

Wednesday April 11

China to free U.S. spy plane crew
CNN
Dubya's stock surely to rise.

Hunter S. Thompson: Notes on the wrong way to gamble
ESPN
Hunter admits that he writes his column for "free-spending Rubes -- Suckers, Hicks, Yokels, Johns, Fish, Marks, Bums, Losers, Day-traders in Portland, fools who buy diamonds from gypsies, and anyone over the age of 9 in this country who still believes in his heart that all cops are honest and would never lie in a courtroom."

Michael Kinsley: The Apologist
USC's Online Journalism Review
We run a lot of Slate.com links, like the one below, so it's good to remember that its founder, Michael Kinsley, just might have a hidden agenda.

Can You Drink Coke During Passover?
Slate
We are running articles commemorating Holy Week and here we learn how a carbonated drink fits into the dictum "And ye shall observe the feast of unleavened bread." Meanwhile, The London Telegraph asks the broader question "Assimilation: will it spell the end of the Jews?" And, finally, The NY Post reports that Frail Pope scales back Holiday Role.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Jackson: I'll say sorry for US to China
Manchester Guardian
Maybe he had better say 'I'm sorry' to his wife first.

Yahoo's Search for Profit Leads to Pornography
LA Times
The online giant will open an online store stocked with thousands of hard-core DVDs and video tapes.

Tongue cancer sufferer sings again
London Times
A soprano has her tongue rebuilt with tissue from her arm.

Woman, 31, 'posed as schoolgirl' for years
Ananova
Life imitates Drew Barrymore.

Camille Paglia: Our unimpressive president
Salon.com
The Queen of Rant is back and in fine form, with icy blasts such as this: "That the peevishly pursed and clunky Russell Crowe and the goofy, grinning, stork-legged Julia Roberts now hold Oscars is one of the many tacky ironies of current popular culture."

From 'baby soup' to 'bathing suit'
Toronto Globe and Mail
We move from the Queen of Rant to this sweet article by a father about his 2 yr old daughter's precious communications.

Time to Rewrite an Unwritten Baseball Rule
NY Times
Thoughtful piece argues that in today's world a lead is never too large.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

The day the music went electric
National Post
The third of four excerpts from Howard Sounes' new biography, Down the Highway: The Life of Bob Dylan. Today we look back to July the 24, 1965.

Did band leader Glenn Miller die in a French brothel?
Straight Dope
Are you 'in the mood' for a conspiracy tale?

Today in Rotten History
rotten.com
John Merrick, the Elephant Man, died on this day in 1890.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Signs There's Something Wrong At The Gap. My fave is #1: A friend calls to say he's watching you try on pants on the internet.

NBC Is Shutting Down NBC Internet

No, we are not talking about MSNBC or CNBC, but rather Snap and Xoom. Never heard of them? That's why it folded.

'Pops' epitomized Pirates
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
When Tom Landy died last year, we turned to the Dallas News for the defining article. Today we look to Pittsburgh as they mourn the loss of their legend, Willie Stargell. And, speaking of the Dallas News, it reports today that newly retired Troy Aikman's next stop will be in the Fox booth as analyst.

Israeli rabbi calls on God to annihilate Arabs
London Times
Let me get this straight: the God who created the mysterious and vast macrocosm and who also created the unknowable and interconnected microcosm...that same Originator of All....'He' would listen to crap like this???

'Our history has taught us to be insecure, that no place is for ever'
London Telegraph
We continue our look at Holy Week with this first of a 3 part series on the Jews, as discovered via interviews in Britain, the US and Israel. The Telegraph also has a nice piece on the roots of Jewish humor.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Tenant without toilet told to cross his legs
Ananova
Good thing he didn't have a cork.

The Global Pueblo
Feedmag
2nd part in a fine continuing series on the Pizza-Hut-ification of the world. And speaking of globalization, check out the top two sports headlines on today's BBC page: Earnhardt 'died of head whip' and Michael Jordan linked with dramatic return. How can cricket compete against that?

Judge names mediator in Napster case
Canoe.ca
The saga, and the downloading, continues.

Pisa's Leaning Tower to be open to climbers
CNN
12 bucks will get you in.

Aznavour bids adieu
BBC
The Master of Melancholy will sing "She" no more.

'Mister Rogers' Ends Production, but Mr. Rogers Keeps Busy
NY Times
Don't mourn, or praise, his retirement: they are gonna cycle 300 of the 1700 shows in a never-ending loop.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Jogging unveils crouching tiger, hidden dragons
Toronto Star
Jogging tights? I've never heard of them.

The Sopranos: Carmela's Therapy
Slate.com
Shrinks analyze Tony and crew.

Rakin' in the cash
National Post
2nd excerpt from a new Bob Dylan biography. Today's piece looks at 'Blowin' in the Wind.'

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Four words into the question and I knew I was sunk.

Is "I am" the shortest English sentence?
Straight Dope
Any parent who has stood with arms folded and ordered a child to their room knows the answer to this one.

This Day In Rotten History
rotten.com
"250 people die in a bridge collapse in Yarmouth, England. They had gathered on the suspension bridge to watch a clown boat be pulled by a flock of geese."

Monday April 9

Cinema bans sleeping baby from film for over-12s
London Telegraph
Talk about inane: The parents of a five-week-old baby were asked to leave a cinema because the infant was too young to see a movie rated "12 yrs old and over."
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

US Should Apologize to Chinese: Chinese President
People's Daily
I'd like to know, what would we have done if the situation was reversed? Meanwhile, Salon.com reports that the Dalai Lama urges both sides to "cool down." And the NY Post tells us that Bush has written a letter of regret to the wife of the dead Chinese pilot, but don't interpret that as an apology. A NY Times editorial today, howeve, backs Bush in decrying China's Costly Rigidity. Finally, SF Gate reports that many of China's 22 million internet users are using the net as the only way to sound their opinions.

Made women
Salon.com
The writer claims that "The Sopranos" deals with female emotional and sexual desire better than any other show on TV." Meanwhile, also in Salon.com, a TV critic finally cracks and admits "I hate TV," which sounds like my darling wife....unless The Sopranos are about to be on. Then it's "How do I turn on HBO?" She would never, for example, watch 5 seconds of Survivor, but I would and today's Toronto Star wonders if the show's host Jeff Probst isn't enjoying other people's pain a little too much. And we finish our TV thread with a cute article from Canada's National Post, Iron Chef, why do you tempt me so with your pork?

'Pops' Stargell was Pirates' inspirational leader
ESPN Classic
A Pittsburgh legend passes. The two online Pittsburgh papers had not reported the sad news as of 8:19 a.m. We'll get their reaction tomorrow.

Mitch Albom: The real reason we can fear flying
Detroit Free Press
Albom, the best selling author of Tuesdays with Morrie,looks at airport rage.

On Language: 'Hurr' by William Safire
NY Times
Safire wants to know: What is the word for when you blow on your glasses to form a vapor in order to clean them?
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Clash of Cellular Towers and Hudson Valley Vistas
NY Times
This is not just a Hudson Valley problem, the same thing is happening out here in Appalachia and I'd trade my cell phone in a second for their removal.

Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Napster usage on the comeback
ZD Net
Despite the blockages, huge amounts of music remain and people are grabbing it. Meanwhile, News.com reports that iMesh, a Napster-like service, has voluntarily started blocking tunes. And, speaking of music, Canada's National Post is running a four part Bob Dylan series this week and they start it off with a look at the Secret wife of Bob Dylan

My lost baby was definitely Tom's, Nicole says
Melbourne Age
We continue to watch the unravelling with fascination. In other show-biz news, Canoe.ca reports that Jamie Lee Curtis may be leaving the screen for quieter pastures.

The Rabbi Jesus nobody knows
Toronto Globe and Mail
We note the start of Holy Week with this profile of professor of religion Bruce Chilton who seeks the unknown Jesus.

Can a noise be loud enough to kill you?
Straight Dope
I would guess 'yes.'

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today.

British Hysteria Fueled by Stupidity
Village Voice
On weekends we turn to the Best of the Alternative Weekly Press and we start out, as always, with the venerable Village Voice, which gives us an eyewitness look at the Foot and Mouth outbreak.

I Love Television: Mary-Kate and Ashley Forever!
Seattle Stranger
Oddly enough, just moments before I ran across this article, our five year old daughter was pleading for "MaryKate and Ashley dolls....please?" But I had no clue who they were.

Word of Mouth
Colorado Springs Indy
Short interviews with three authors, including the famous Dave Eggers, who also runs a very interesting website, McSweeneys.net.

Aaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee
O.C. Weekly
Writer knows she shouldn't like Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light™. She knows that Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light™, Dr. Laura Schlessinger and that cute little curly haired girl who’s in the Pepsi commercials are people who play to the lowest common denominantor and are therefore to be despised. She knows that, because of the Kinkade coffee table books that litter her house, people also think that she listens to Yanni, but she just can't help it. She's just mad about Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light™.

Street Talk: What Is Your Favorite Excuse When Pulled Over for a Moving Traffic Violation?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Weekly 'Ask The Person On The Street' column is always an interesting read.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
More nuggets from information's mother lode.

Dewey's Death Pool 2001
Phoenix New Times
The Top Ten is updated and it's never too late to get in on the action.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Seattle Stranger
Dan and his readers debate "What is it about being a lesbian that's so easily shrugged off?" Adult Content.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
Weekly BDSM columnist tackles that issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "How does a Professional Mistress avoid becoming involved with her clientele?" Adult Content.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
Weekly sex advice columnist heads for the hills, but leaves us a "Best Of" column to tide us over. Adult Content.

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal Hour
We close out our weekly sex advice quartet with my personal favorite, Josey Vogels. Adult Content.

I Hate Rock Stars
Washington City Paper
Lest you think that the Weekly Alternative Press is stocked soley with sex-advice pitches, here's a fine weekly music column.

Friday April 06

Trucker jailed for suffocation of 58 illegal immigrants
London UK Independent
A British lorry driver closed an air vent which caused 58 illegal immigrants to die. What is the punishment in the UK for killing illegal Chinese immigrants? Apparently 2.89 months in prison per illegal immigrant. Meanwhile, The London Telegraph reports that the Relatives wanted death sentence.

Stung by `Sopranos'
Chicago Sun Times
Hey sweetiepie, remember when we saw comedian Martin Mull many years ago and he told Polish Joke after Polish Joke? Based on the following, I think we could have sued: "An Italian-American lawyers group says it will sue the makers of HBO's "The Sopranos" series today for offending the "dignity" of Italian-Americans by implying most of them are mobsters."

Yahoo joins online music venture
BBC
In a related matter, The Melbourne Age reports that MTV agrees to retail music online. The problem with these different MP3 plans is that each new service is going to expect a monthly payment, and if you choose just one plan you won't be able to download music that the other plan offers.

Poet laureate complains of harassment
BBC
British Poet Laureate Andrew Motion has filed a complaint for harassment against a female student at the university where he teaches, while she alleges that he has been the one stalking her. A very interesting sidebar can be found in today's Sydney Morning Herald, in which a female teacher of a graduate writing course looks at the Motion controversy and explains the Sex, power and a passion for words.

We are ready: McVeigh's final hours and last words he'll hear
Sydney Morning Herald
The first of many articles about the killing of Timothy McVeigh. Meanwhile, CNN reports that Internet firm sues to broadcast McVeigh execution. And, finally, Salon.com joins in with Wal-Mart won't sell McVeigh book.

Shrink Rap: Why Did Noah Dump Meadow?
Slate
The analysis continues, and speaking of continuing analysis, here's this week's Survivor: Australian Outback: Episode Ten

Rob Morse: Let's Trade a Billion Big Macs for Our Plane
SF Gate
Morse knows why we were spying on China: "We have to scout out sites for Wal-Marts and McDonald's".

Drew and Tom finally get hitched. Yeah, right
National Post
Writer's gaydar goes off when he hears of Tom Green's announcement that he and Drew Barrymore are married.

Current Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Roger's weekly reviews.

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review.

On This Day
NY Times
On this say in 1987 Los Angeles Dodgers executive Al Campanis said on ABC's ''Nightline'' that blacks ''may not have some of the necessities'' to hold managerial jobs in major-league baseball.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

What's the nursery rhyme "Sing a Song of Sixpence" all about?
Straight Dope
In some book that sits on our shelves author Bill Bryson writes of nursery rhymes and the uncanny way they remain exactly the same...decade after decade...century after century.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today, I think I'm ready to start handling the checkbook, sweetiepie..

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Least Signs Dan Rather Doesn't GIve A Damn Anymore. My fave is #10: He changed his name to D. Riddy.

Why the kid-glove treatment for China?
Salon.com
Some rather compelling forces at work here. Our business ties pulling us one way, while their desire to host the 2008 Olympics is pulling them in the same direction.

Libraries Seeking Overdue Books
NY Times
Uh oh...I have this book on our shelves from 1982. Meanwhile, Ananova reports that "A man has had his wallet returned 40 years after it went missing." And, isn't it interesting the way they describe it as "went missing"? As if it had its own will.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Kursk 'had nuclear weapons on board'
BBC
That's not what we heard when it went down.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Next Survivor victim anyone's guess
Canoe.ca
I see the Canadians are just as nutty as we are. To underscore, here's Canada's National Post's weekly Survivor take: Sure, we hated Jerri, but we'll miss her. Still don't believe me? Here's the Vancouver Sun also chiming in with An ode to Survivors of present and past with a rhyme for the cast not likely to last. Do you need more evidence? No? Too bad, because we can't leave out the Toronto Star's take: Ogakor turns on one of its own.

Overcooked ham
National Post
Critic toasts Copperfield!

I Want A Life
National Post
Weekly installment from the writer who has forsaken Toronto for "remote Pelee Island," the southernmost part of Canada and a place, oddly enough, I've been. Today our intrepid reporter visits nearby Windsor and discovers that "I'd forgotten about onion rings."

David Bowie launching online radio service
Nando Times
Rebel Rebel leads the way.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today, however they use an awful sentence as their example.

Today In Rotten History
rotten.com
Both Allen Ginsburg and Kurt Cobain died on April the 5th. Brother-in-Law Henry emails: "Allen Ginsberg and Kurt Cobain died on the same day, huh? Maybe we could make April 5th a purge day for other famous, annoying people. This year, how about Steven Seagal, Barry Manilow, and Moby?" Wait a sec, bro....I like Moby!

What do ants do when it rains? They obviously don't all drown.
Straight Dope
Some things never cross my mind. Reader Kay emails in "I still want to know why worms come out onto the driveways when it rains!" Well, Kay, here's your answer. Any other questions?

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Least Impressive David Copperfield Tricks. My fave is #1: Pulling Siegfried out of Roy.

Wednesday April 04

Everything A Goddamn Ordeal In Area Family
The Onion
Sounds like our house.

Eminem Claims Donny Osmond Influence
Yahoo Daily News
Sometimes real life is odder than anything The Onion can cook up.

Mistaken protester sets himself on fire
Ananova
Sad, and Stupid, Story of the Day: "A Pakistani man in Australia set himself alight to protest at his family's failure to get visas but didn't realise they'd been granted." Via Joe Kaz's AM News Abuse.

No Coins? in Australia You Can Dial a Coke Instead
Yahoo Daily News
A Coke exec asks,``How many times have you stood in front of a machine and not had the right change?'' He left out the part about the clinging child who is so thirsty that he will die on the spot if dad can't make dig out another quarter out of his pockets.

Saturday Mail Deliveries Could End
Yahoo Daily News
Instead, how about privatization?

Jesus was not the Son of God, says former bishop
London Telegraph
The Most Rev Richard Holloway, who retired as leader of the Scottish Episcopal Church in October, said he believed Jesus was simply "an extraordinary man". Who is The Most Rev Richard Holloway, who is a member of the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, but says he is not gay? Well, in 1999 he admitted to smoking dope, a week later Clergy call for Holloway to resign after he uttered such statements as "God has given us our promiscuous genes so I think it would be wrong for the Church to condemn people who have followed their instincts", but, just in case you think Halloway is a total nut, he does draw the line at pedophilia
Telegraph login: e-portals  password:e-portals

You Don't Have To Die
London Times
If Sea anemones and freshwater hydra don't age, why should we? Just don't drive, don't live in polluted cities, don't walk outside, don't walk down stairs, don't have bad genes and don't watch Rosie O'Donnell.

Hunter S. Thompson: Where were you when the Fun Stopped?
ESPN
The Good Doctor considers the expensive difference between Having Fun and Being Smart.

Auditing Classes at M.I.T., on the Web and Free
NY Times
It sounds like a great idea as they will jam 2000 courses, lecture notes, video lectures, etc online for anyone to see.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
It's a good day anytime I get one right that has an X and a Y in it.

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in 1968 Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated. Oddly enough, it was exactly one year earlier, April 4, 1976, that he firstspoke out against the Vietnam War.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Effects Of The Giant Solar Flare. My fave is #10: The swan that Bjork is wearing comes to life and pecks her eyes out.

Buddha rubble 'up for sale'
BBC
Look for some to pop up soon on Ebay. Meanwhile, the BBC also is reporting that the Dalai Lama draws crowds in Taiwan. Seems he is taking a page from JP II's book.

Music firms rival Napster
BBC
Vivendi Universal and Sony are to form a new online company, "Duet," which they claim will "hope to licence 50% of the world's music." Meanwhile, Salon.com reports that "Real Networks is partnering with record label owners AOL Time Warner, Bertelsmann AG and EMI Group to create an online music subscription service to be available sometime this year." Get out your credit cards. In related news, The NY Times reports that Musicians Press Point in Online Rift, the artists claiming that the companies are too controlling, lining their pockets by exploiting musicians unschooled in business

Will the "refresh" button become obsolete?
News.com
How interesting: "No longer will stock traders and eBay aficionados have to refresh their browser windows: Bang Networks' service will update the stock price or auction bids they're looking at as the changes happen."

U.S. networks try to block Canadian startup
National Post
But, of course, it's ok for the Yanks to jam their barren, pizza-gulping, beer-guzzling, strip mall, MTV-world version of reality down everyone else's throat?

Kidman's toughest challenge: 'It's very upsetting and very invasive'
Sydney Morning Herald
We continue to follow the unravelling, fascinated by the sight of people who live a most unnatural life, struggling to achieve normalcy. For example, Reuters reports that Kidman Puts Up Wall of Silence to Protect Children.

The wheel of death and life
Toronto Globe and Mail
Excellent piece in which the writer walks us through her thoughts after she hears of her brother's accidental death. This one's worth re-reading. Meanwhile, oddly enough, Canada's National Post also has a very interesting article, "Sunday morning with my brother and Michael Enright," in which this writer tells of his brilliant, but alcoholic, brother and the unique way they communicate.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Super easy one today.

What's the origin of "7-Up"?
Straight Dope
I guess "Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda" just didn't have the right ring to it.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Things A Manager Doesn't Want To Hear On Opening Day. My fave is #7: "Any chance I could get traded to a city with a more active musical theater scene?"

Illusionist David Copperfield in hospital for exhaustion
Yahoo News
A ratings ploy? The TV show he was preparing for is still scheduled to air Tuesday, and when I flipped on Howard Stern this morning, there he was, pushing his TV special, explaining how he lost his virginity (he was 14...she was in her 30's), and complaining that he is "tired as hell." Meanwhile, The Toronto Star reports that Copperfield uses magic to overcome fears.

Black hole excites astronomers
BBC
Loved this headline.

Nicole gets marriage 'contract'
news.com.au
She has to give up her career and pals, but he gets "breathing room." It's a study in insanity. Meanwhile, The Toronto Star reports that Kidman publicist confirms miscarriage, earlier this year, and Canada's National Post asks Did Tom know Nicole's news when he filed for divorce?

See Miss Cleavage Topless
London Sun
The winner of National Cleavage Week III.

Netherlands Allows Same-Sex Marriage
Yahoo Daily News
Love is love is love is love.

On Language: No 'Way' By William Safire
NY Times
Good column as Safire examines how 'way' became a modifier and then looks at how five specialized words have been co-opted and changed.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Why Johnny Depp Became an Expatriate
SF Gate
"Disappointed in the U.S., the actor refuses to raise his daughter here." That doesn't stop him from funding his life with US money.

Did Wile E. Coyote ever catch the Road Runner?
Straight Dope
Yes and no.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I had no clue and humbly await the inevitible email from my darling wife who will explain why the answer easy to pick out, but, hey...I unloaded the dishwasher, darling!

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Other Ways Mayor Giuliani Is Cleaning Up New York. I have two favorites today, numbers ten and three.

Sunday April 01

The Perils of Hanging With Puffy
Village Voice
On weekends we turn to the best of the weekly alternative press and, as always, we start with the venerable Village Voice, which has eleven articles this week about Puff Daddy.

Consumer Guide by Robert Christgau
Village Voice
Christgau has been writing this monthly column for over 30 yrs now. I recall reading it college and he's still relevant. Bravo!

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
The First Rule of Trivia Is: You Gotta Talk About the Trivial.

How Do You Fix a Bad-Hair Day?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Always interesting 'ask the person on the street' column.

Jesus of the Week
St Louis Riverfront Times
This week's Jesus wants us to enter a House Party.

alt.sex.column
SF Bay Guardian
Columnist takes off for spring break and leaves a "best of" for us to read.

Dear Mistress Marisha
SF Bay Guardian
BDSM columnist tackes that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "What do I do after I tie up my boyfriend?"

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal Hour
Sex advice columnist Vogels tosses a pop quiz.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Seattle Stranger
Savage finishes up our weekly quartet of sex advice columnists as he tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "I noticed a weird charge on our credit card bill and called only to find out that my wife is subscribing to an online site, which specializes in pictures of rape. Should I tell her I know?"

Hacking 'is now bigger threat than terrorism'
London Telegraph
And this will probably be the reason given to restrict the net freedoms to which we have become accustomed.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Current Ebert Reviews
Chicago SunTimes
A great review for "The Widow of St Pierre."

Accidents should happen
London Telegraph
Making playgrounds totally safe robs the kids of spontaneity, writer argues. My darling wife read this and emailed this: "i agree. they should happen to other people."
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Reader, he left her. The Rules turn on their creator
London Telegraph
Writer seems glad that the marriage of the smug author of Rules III : Time-tested secrets for making your marriage work failed.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Gossips: Will Dish For Cash
Wired
Profile of popbitch, the "scandalous, celebrity-gossip newsletter that goes out in e-mail once a week."

Roy Orbison's underpants kill man
Popbitch
"Only the lonely...Know the heartaches I've been through...Only the lonely, Know I cried and cried for you."

Taliban Kills Buddha
Killing the Buddha
A nice defense of blowing up the Buddhas: Buddha would have understood.

Today, it's the memory of keys
Toronto Globe and Mail
Clever piece in which the writer can't find his keys and decides it's time to defrag his mind.

Jerri's departure answers all Survivor fans' prayers
Vancouver Sun
Goodbye Wicked Witch!!

We Support Cleavage Week
London Sun
A few days ago The Sun was supporting National Naked Men Day. As always, pictures are included, but keep in mind that their links often evaporate over night.

Genie in a Bottle
Nerve.com
A Swedish soft drink has taken Little Rock, Arkansas by storm. To find out if it just snake oil or , indeed, an aphrodisiac geared towards women a female writer decides to get a few bottles.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Another easy one.

Does using your car radio reduce your gas mileage?
Straight Dope
I had this argument in 1971....turns out both of us were right...and wrong.

This Day in Rotten History
rotten.com
While President Reagan is in recuperation from a gunshot wound, Secretary of State Alexander Haig announces that he is "in control" of the White House which scares the hell out of everyone.

David Letterman's List
CBS
Top Ten Rejected Puff Daddy Names. My fave is #2: "P. Blicity Stunt."

Greenpeace patriarch slurs dead 'pretender'
National Post
When Greenpeace co-founder David McTaggart died in an Italian auto accident last week the tributes flowed. Today the dirty laundry gets aired with the release of a hilariously mean email from another of the group's founders.

You are what you eat, and you eat what you are
Canoe.ca
Interesting article about what we choose to eat, but I don't know that I buy: "Women are most sexually attracted to Good 'N' Plenty candy." I'll have to research this one tonight.

McVeigh Laments Dying Without Becoming a Dad
NY Post
Oddly enough, today's Times runs the headline 'No Sympathy' for Dead Children, McVeigh Says.

Actress Suzanne Somers talks about her breast cancer treatment
National Post
She's taking a homeopathic treatment, against her doctor's advice, which "seems to be working."

Puffy is a Name-Dropper
NY Post
As of June 1st, 'Puff Daddy' will become "P. Diddy.'

University of Liverpool honours Yoko Ono
Canoe.ca
Ono to receive a 'doctor of laws' in recognition of her "work and patronage of a scholarship fund she founded in the memory of Lennon in 1991." As P. Diddy put it "It's all about the benjamins."

Finally friends again
London Telegraph
It's the end of the world as we know it: REM breaks up, but that was 2 years ago and they've since reunited
Telegraph login: e-portals  password:e-portals

I Want A Life
National Post
Latest installment from the writer who ditched city life to seek solace on "remote Pelee Island." Today, she senses spring and notices the birds. Just wait till May when the spring warblers come zooming in!

Do you catch more flies with sugar than you do with, ah, fecal matter?
Straight Dope
A farmer suspects that the old saying might not be true.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Finally got a math question right.

On This Day
NY Times
On March 29, 1973, the last United States troops left South Vietnam, ending America's direct military involvement in the Vietnam War.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Wednesday March 28

American Airlines begins charging for paper tickets
Chicago Tribune
Want a tangible ticket? That'll cost 10 bucks extra.

Dear Val: Sex with your ex not a good idea
Canoe.ca
Advice columnist speaks from experience.

Legislation would let illegal immigrants get driver's licenses
Chicago Tribune
Only in America.

Silent students demonstrate about nothing
Ananova
Makes Napster's proposed 'March on Washington' look socially relevant.

It's National Naked Men Day
London Sun
Says who? Keep in mind that The Sun often takes their links down after only a day or two, and, yes, they do have some pics.

America's sweetheart smiled - and I gagged
Toronto Star
Not everyone loves Julia Roberts....Thank God.

Looking For The Historical Jesus
BBC
On the weekends, when we run "the best of the weekly alternative press," we often link to the Jesus of the Week site. The BBC gets in on this as they use forensic and archaeological techniques to reconstruct how Jesus might really have looked .

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube
ESPN
Hunter's NCAA bets go down in flames, but he's come to expect it: "Every March I get whipped like an egg-sucking dog, and always for the same stupid reason."

Saudi kingdom banishes Pikachu
News.com
As a parent, I can understand them banning Pokemon because it's so damn irritating and vacuous, but they, of course, manage to go over the line claiming that "said Pokemon video games and cards have symbols that include "the Star of David, which everyone knows is connected to international Zionism and is Israel's national emblem."

What's the Animals' "House of the Rising Sun" all about?
Straight Dope
Come to think of it, after you read the lyrics...it sounds like our house after dinner.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today.

On This Day
NY Times
Dwight Eisenhower, Virginia Wolff, Maria von Trapp, and Composer Sergei Rachmaninoff all died on this date.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Send out the clown: WGN ends Bozo's circus
Chicago Sun Times
The most beloved icon in Chicago TV history is pink slipped after a 40 yr run.

Napster asks fans to join D.C. caravan
News.com
Has the new generation found an issue to galvanzine around? Granted, it's not Civil Rights, the Vietnam War or Ecology, but 'Save out tunes, dude' has a certain ring to it.

Woman who wrote 'The Rules' for a happy marriage files for divorce
London Telegraph
The sequel, "Rules for an equitable settlement," is hastily being written.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Welcome to Oscars fright night
London Telegraph
A British post-mortem. Meanwhile, Reuters reports that "Hum-Drum Reviews, Ratings Greet 73rd Annual Oscars." And the London Sun gave out 'Best Cleavage' Awards. Keep in mind that The Sun takes their links down the next day..
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Air freshener or aphrodisiac?
Melbourne Age
What a brilliant, but doomed, idea: "Lawyers said bottles of Reds' Room had nothing in common with air fresheners like Glade or Haze, but contained a "euphoric inhalant aphrodisiac", available in sex shops and commonly known as poppers."

Baseball Fans to Be Charged for Internet Broadcasts
NY Times
Listeners will be charged $10/season as baseball digs up new ways to pay off Alex Rodriguez' $250 million dollar contract.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

What Was Carmela Doing There Anyway?
Slate
Real-life shrinks continue to analyze The Sopranos.

On This Day
NY Times
On this day in 1998 the FDA approved the drug Viagara. Little did we know that this would lead to the jarring combination of Bob Dole and Britney Spears.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison, in his weekly advice column, tackles that age old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "I am a single mom who lives in a very dangerous part of L.A.. Should I stay here and save our money until we can make a break for freedom, or should we just wing it?"

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Things You Should Never Say In An Academy Awards Acceptance Speech. My fave is #6: "Okay -- I won -- now you can all switch over to 'The Sopranos.'"

List of Winners of 73rd Annual Academy Awards
Yahoo Daily News
In case you were watching The Sopranos, here's Roger Ebert's take. Meanwhile, TV critic Mike Duffy examines the spectacle in Martin keeps it classy with his wit; Rivers controls herself. Finally, to add just a little controversy, to an otherwise very ordinary night, Drudge claims that "Martin Steals The Show", but Canada's National Post disagrees, "Roberts steals the show."

Second gunman did shoot JFK, says UK scientist
Ananova
I don't buy it. Somebody, somewhere would have turned this guy in, even if it were 30 years later.

MTV to Mesh Its 2 Channels With Web Site
NY Times
Not only will they integrate their tv channels to the web site, they'll also offer d/loadable "new music" for a fee.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

William Safire: On Language
NY Times
Safire, in his weekly language column, examines 'smashmouth.'
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Baby boomers may contribute to rise in motorcycle fatalities
Nandotimes
You see these packs of aging boomers, lawyers and bankers all, out on their bikes with their wives in tow, all hooked up by microphones...it's pathetic.

Greenpeace 'warrior' killed in car crash
Vancouver Sun
Greenpeace is today mourning the death of David McTaggart, Honorary Chairman and one of the founders of the international environmental organisation.

Doctors Miss Depression in Cancer Patients
Reuters
I dunno...it would seem to be to be a given. The patient is told that he/she has cancer...the patient gets depressed.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Interesting question today, but I got it ...(because it's not a math question).

Why does Swiss cheese have holes in it?
Straight Dope
Interesting question today, the kind our kids ask us all the time. The answer has a great quip about a cheese that is all holes.

Everything In Entire World Now Collectible
The Onion
Let's finish Monday with the consistently brilliant Onion, as they warn that "as collector mania spreads, even items like floor polish, paper plates, and rubber bands are becoming prohibitively expensive for many Americans."

Sweaty Scenes From The Life Of An AOL Censor
Village Voice
On weekends we turn away from the mainstream headlines and look, instead, to the best of the weekly alternative press. We start this week, as always, with the venerable Village Voice and this piece by a former AOL censor who struggled mightily at her job.

Chyna Doll
Montreal Mirror
Nice, short profile of Joanie Laurer, the WWF's 'Chyna,' and we discover, among other things, that she misses her cello. I have, however, a major problem reading The Mirror online because of the horrid background color they use.

Am I Fat?
Columbus AliveWired
A 5 foot 1 inch, 113 lb reporter opens the new J Crew catalog and thinks she might be fat.

Oscar Undressed
Village Voice
Even the Weekly Alternatives cover the Oscars, but, of course, you can count on them to cover it from a different perspective.

Race Abater
Phoenix New Times
The world's first African American to achieve a doctorate in evolutionary biology has a message for all those rednecks who drive around my town proudly showing the confederate flag in their back window: "There is more genetic variation in one tribe of East African chimpanzees than in the entire human species!"

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
More off-the-rack trivia in your cerebral boutique.

Jesus of the Week
Phoenix New Times
This week we find a blue-eyed, red haired Jesus being followed by a most bizarre cloud.

Dear Mistress Marisha
San Francisco Bay Guardian
Weekly BDSM columnist tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "Help! I can't seem to muster up the usual enthusiasm I used to have for being sexually tormented and my Master can sense this. What can I do?"

Dan Savage: Savage Love
Seattle Stranger
Weekly sex-advice columnist addresses the issue of privacy within sex clubs. Adult Content.

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal After Hour
Vogels is my favorite of the alternative press' sex-advice columnists and this week she shares facts gained from books sent to her. Adult Content.

Friday March 23

With HailStorm, think fee, not free
News.com
The days of ad-subsidized Internet services, such as free e-mail and messaging, may be over.

Slumping Salon.com to consider sale
TheDeal.com
Two days ago we led with the announcement that Salon intends to break out a premium, fee-based service which will probably include Garrison Keillor, Camille Paglia, etc.. Today, however, we see signs that the ship may instead sink. What a shame that would be.

Double pet tragedy for Canadian
Ananova
Talk about a bad day: A Canadian man watched his dog being put down by mistake, then went home to find his cat had been run over.

The Day the Sky(lab) Fell
Wired.com
Article recalls the fall of Mir's precursor, "Skylab," which tumbled down in July of '79 and, you know, I think I saved that headline.

Scooby's Hanna Dies at age 90
London Sun
The man who teamed up with Joseph Barbera to create Scooby, The Flintstones and Yogi Bear. Barbera, oddly enough, turns 90 tomorrow. Be aware, by the way, that The Sun usually leaves their links up for only a day. So read it now or never.

Current Ebert Review
Chicago Sun Times
The noted film critic's weekly reviews. Also, it's Oscar time and Roger, who hated 'Gladiator,' gives us his picks in "Can you outguess Roger?" Meanwhile, Canada's National Post has an excellent pre-Oscar section and finally, The Toronto Globe and Mail makes the one safe Oscar prediction: The show will go on ... and on.

Sex? Women Prefer Cooking!
London Sun
"TWO out of three women think about COOKING and SHOPPING when they're having sex," the Sun reports. That's ok, because men think about sex 2/3rds of the time they are cooking and shopping...so it all evens out!

The World's Biggest Online Sex Party
SF Gate
Nice profile of Bianca.com's Smut Shack. I remember roaming around in there years ago, after it first opened and it was empty, but today it is apparently booming.

This Week in Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I really suck at math.

This Day in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1997 the Heaven's Gate suicides left 39 dead, all wearing NIKE shoes.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Beauty Salon. My fave is #2: "Larry, for the last time, you're not a barber! Go sweep up the back!"

Poetic McCartney takes a bow
BBC
It's about time...we haven't had a decent Beatles link in over a month.

Labels to tell courts Napster is slacking
News.com
It's about time...we haven't had a decent Napster link in 2 weeks.

One hour warning of Mir mishap
Melbourne Age
It's about time...we haven't had a decent Mir link in 2 days. Meanwhile Yahoo News, in an unfortunate choice of words, reports that "Russia Readies Mir for Ocean Dump."

Sting to catch bent police runs off rails
Sydney Morning Herald
I read this headline 4x and still had no clue what it meant.

Beauty of skating through a blind man's eyes
Vancouver Sun
A blind man explains why he is at the the World Figure Skating Championships.

StarFirsts
nerve.com
Continuing series of 'first times' focuses today on the advice of Ruby Dee's mother.

The buck starts here
London Telegraph
Nice profile of Starbucks's chief exec. You know, sweetiepie, Starbucks is booming in the UK and is taking off in Japan. Maybe we should buy some stock?.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password:e-portals

Bishops furious as Catholics stall on Communion
London Times
The Church of England is furious because its members can't receive communion in Catholic churches. My advice? Just go. God will not be upset.

Life and death travelling the Trans-Canada
Toronto Globe and Mail
Writer drives 7,200 kilometres in six days and ponders roadkill and dying for one's possessions.

I Want a Life
National Post
Week eight in the saga of city-gal Jane Christmas' break from city life for the refuge of "remote Pelee Island, population 200," a place, oddly enough, I've visited. This week Jane gets giddy.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
A deserved break after yesterday's debacle...these are the types of questions I have no trouble with.

On This Day
NY Times
It was on this day in 1978 that 73 yr old Karl Wallenda fell to his death from a net-less high wire 100 ft above the ground in Puerto Rico. I can still remember the 1962 headlines from the Detroit Free Press when the Wallenda's seven person, three-tiered pyramid collapsed at the State Fair Grounds, killing two of them and paralyzing a third for life. "Life is being on the wire," Wallenda once said. "Everything else is just waiting."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Announcing Salon Premium
Salon.com
Not a good sign for us surfers. Salon announces that it will soon have two versions, one free ad-based and the other a "premium" $30/year service. This will no doubt mean the end of our cites of Garrison Keillor's 'Dear Mr Blue' and also the monthly rantings of Camille Paglia, both of whom will probably be moved over to the pay side.

AltaVista to add newsstand to index
News.com
A good sign for us surfers. Alta Vista becomes the first search engine to offer complete up-to-the minute news.

Camille Paglia: Welcome to my world
Salon.com
The Queen of Rant returns in somewhat muted fashion. Might as well read while she's free, folks.

Dirty deeds not done dirt cheap
Sydney Morning Herald
Writer points out that the porn industry knows how to work the web for profit and that maybe the "straight" net could borrow a few of their tricks.

Is Dr Melfi Well Served By Her Shrink?
Slate
Four shrinks examine last week's episode of The Sopranos.

Notes from the People's Republic of Visa
Toronto GLobe and Mail
Writer is overcharged $13,000 on his Visa account.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
It's a math question and I have no clue, although my darling wife assures me that it "an easy one."

Fact the Day
refdesk.com
Guess the percentage of of all murders which occur as the direct result of arguments, notably arguments between family members and friends.

This Day in History
The History Channel
On this day in 1983 The Little House on the Prairie. Add that show to the long list of those I've never watched, which includes The Golden Girls, Cheers, Frasier, ER, Everyone Loves Raymond and Friends.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Finally a new Top Ten list! Top Ten Messages On Steven Seagal's Answering Machine. My fave is #6: "Hey, Steve, it's the devil. Remember that contract you signed?""

Tuesday March 20

Free Tacos for U.S. If Mir Hits Floating Taco Bell Ocean Target
Yahoo News
Put that chihuahua on the target site. That'll make it interesting. Via Drudge. Meanwhile, The BBC reports that Japanese residents have been warned to stay indoors. I wonder if they have a "free sashimi" promo going?

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison's weekly advice column in which he tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "I thought I loved my wife, until she went through labor and swore at and hit me. Now I hate her. What should I do?"

Black Mood in Paris: Watch Out for Bad Times
NY Times
The latest harbinger of coming economic bad times? The Parisian runways. Meanwhile, a Detroit Free Press columnist warns that if Greenspan cuts interest rates today it may not work but it will erode the dollar.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Playing a losing game
Toronto Star
Nice diet article focuses on what works, 150 minutes of exercise per week and smaller portions of healthy food, and what doesn't. I should stop using that treadmill as a clothes hanger.

49% of men enjoy reading on toilet, survey reveals
Ananova
4% perused their bills?

Fuller, sexier brain cells in just two clicks
Toronto Globe and Mail
Nice profile of the new "wickedly sassy" website Happy Woman Magazine.

Who or what are Fig Newton cookies named after?
Straight Dope
They also explain "oreo," but fail to address how anyone can eat those horrid windmill cookies.

This Day in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1995 a convicted killer's last words were "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this."

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today....in fact, I used the word in question in an above link.

Monday March 19

Bush signs off from the internet
London Telegraph
Don't expect email from Dubya. Since email may be subject to subpeona, he's decided not to use it. Meanwhile, News.com reports that Congress is so inundated with email that they ignore most of it.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

On Language by William Safire
NY Times
Safire examines "having it all"
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Mamas and Papas star dies
Melbourne Age
Songwriter John Phillips is dead at 65.

Movie and TV star Ann Sothern dead at 92
Toronto Star
She was all over the tube in the 50's.

Village People's Hughes Dies
NY Daily News
The mustachioed leather-clad biker is dead of lung cancer at 51.

Visiting philosopher questions whether Desert War ever happened
New Zealand Herald
I love the retort of a NZ Army Army Captain who is a veteran of the war. Via Ananova.

Life on the Fringes
Korea Herald
All man has to do is disappear and nature will fill the void: Eco-scientists have discovered that the DMZ, the 4 km-wide strip of land separating North and South Korea, has become a refuge for 2200 types of animals, including rare eagles, antelope, cranes, frogs and roe deer, not to mention rare types of flora.

America is still living in a boom-time fantasy
Sydney Morning Herald
The Aussie press braces for bad times.

All the mstakes that are fit to prnt
Toronto Globe and Mail
Nice profile of Ira Stolls, whose web site, Smarter Times, is dedicated to listing the errors of The NY Times..

Is "different than" bad grammar?
Straight Dope
We had this argument just last month over dessert. I argued the exception in the 3rd to the last paragraph, to no avail.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I got this one wrong...but it was, after all, 6:53 in the morning.

Sunday March 18

Prez Clashes With Own Party on Key Issues
Village Voice
On weekends we turn away from the screeching headlines of the regular press and turn, instead, to the best of the weekly alternative papers. We start out this week, as always, with the venerable Village Voice and James Ridgeway's weekly George Bush vs Congress update.

The Death of a Question
Seattle Stranger
This is a perfect example of what makes the weekly alternative press so interesting. Compelling articles can almost always be found...hidden in the avalanche of sex-advice and quirky news columns.

Dear John, or whatever your name is
honolulu weekly
Writer receives a wrongly addressed 'Dear John' email, one meant for somebody else, and then ponders the poor fella's fate.

Puff Daddy’s Fate Now Rests With a Spun and Rhymed Jury
NY Observer
By now you know that Puff Daddy beat the rap, see CNN's Combs: "I'm just grateful," but here's a piece released earlier in the week that explained why it would happen.

Jesus of the Week
Broward New Times
This week's Jesus died for our donuts?

Letters at 3AM
Austin Chronicle
Every other week Michael Ventura tells us what he was thinking at 3 a.m. and it's always a fine read. This week he re-discovers Elvis.

Sushi Unlimited
Now Toronto
I've never included a restaurant review before but this is more. It's a warning about what to expect when you see those dreaded words "all you can eat."

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
Mr Smarty Pants knows more than we do and he has a most bizarre theory concerning the Pilgrims and their landing at Plymouth Rock.

Street Talk: What do you think of cell phones now?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Always interesting "ask the person on the street" column has some excellent answers this week.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Seattle Stranger
Sex columnist Savage tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another in our lives: "I was drunk at the club and gave this knockout babe the wrong phone number. How can I find her?" Adult Content.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
BDSM columnist tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced at one time or another in our lives: "My bf is submissive and so am I, yet he wants to be submissive to me. HELP!" Adult Content.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
The Bay Guardian has 2 sex advice columns. That's San Francisco for ya...Today's topic is heady. Adult Content.

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal After Hour
Josey is my favorite sex-columnist of the bunch. Adult Content.

Bush Gets Behind Gay GI's
SF Gate
That's how this article is described on the front page of today's Gate. The actual headline, inside the paper, is a lot less fun: "Bush Vow to Gay GIs: Defense Dept. will issue rules forbidding harassment."

Man nearly killed by flying bed
Ananova
Yesterday we linked to a story in which a woman was almost killed by a Rolls Royce in her living room. Today a man looks up and is happy he did.

Turbulent Waters
Canoe.ca
It's hard to believe that the man who gave us Pink Flamingos, director John Waters, is now looked upon as an elder spokesman. In the article he has has a great line concerning the duty of adolescents: "That's youth's duty. To think of a new way to get on people's nerves, to horrify their parents." Job well done, my children!!!

Crowe-ing steady
London Megastar
In case you've been wondering whom Nicole Kidman has been dating. But, wait...Tom'n Nicole aren't divorced.

Gipsies make home life hell
London Sun
Their property has been burgled or vandalised 173 times? That's worse than having seven kids.

Look who's winding up for the slap-shot
Toronto Globe and Mail
Very nice article in which the writer, while playing in the park, talks to God and discovers the reason for pain and suffering. "Adam Sandler movies," he (God) continued, "are my way of saying, 'Support your local library.' "

For a Small Amish Newspaper, Bad News Is No News
NY Times
Do you remember sweetiepie? We picked up a copy of this paper and it kept us amused on our 90 mile ride home from Sugarcreek.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Mobile phones could translate between languages
Ananova
Here's some unbelievable news: "A mobile phone which can translate between one language and another when two people talk could soon be on the market." Can you imagine the market for this?

Study: Napster use slumping
Canoe.ca
Usage is down 50%. Negative publicity probably has people thinking that it's closed.

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy one today.

This Day In Rotten History
rotten.com
Erik Estrada was born on this day in 1949.

There Goes The Kids' College Funds
NY Post
I think those exact words were said in our kitchen yesterday. William Safire in The NY Times has a slightly different spin than most on the market's tumble: Blame it on the Japanese.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

TV viewer survives Rolls-Royce crash
London Telegraph
Good thing mom never learned how to use the remote: An 83 yr old woman got up to change her tv station as a Rolls Royce crashed into her house, landing on the spot where she had been sitting.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

I Want A Life
National Post
Part seven in the continuing story of a mom who takes her 10 yr old child and heads to remote Pelee Island to escape the rat race. Today, mother visits.

Shrinks Discuss The Sopranos
Slate
Three shrinks analyze Dr. Melfi's treatment of Tony.

Survivor: Australian Outback: Episode Eight
Canoe.ca
Episode 8 recap.

Napster shifts blame to record companies
Toronto Star
Napster's starting to sound like my 12 yr old.

Britannica.com Lays Off a Third of Staff
The Standard.com
Let's hope they don't start charging.

Why Strom Won't Die
Slate
If 98 yr old Strom Thurmond dies, the 50-50 deadlocked Senate tips towards the Dems.

Dear Val Chat
Canoe.ca
Transcript of Sex columnist Val Gibson's recent online open chat. My fave question she tackles is "Dear Val, People think I am gay but I am not. What can I do?"

StarFirsts
Nerve.com
More in the continuing series of Stars first times with segemnts today from Gloria Swanson, Ike Turner, Charles Manson and Ron LeFlore.

Chyna and the Dalai Lama
National Post
Writer was feeling smug that female pro wrestler Chyna made the best seller list in the States but not in Canada. Until yesterday.

This Day in Rotten History
rotten.com
Beware the Ides of March: on this day in the year 44 AD Julius Ceasar was killed.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
Guess the number of stars in our galaxy.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Another math question and I am on a roll!

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Signs Colin Powell Has Been Spending Too Much Time With George W. Bush. My fave is #9: He makes sure to get 11 hours of sleep at night and 7 hours during the day.

Wednesday March 14

No Jennifer Lopez News Today
The Onion
But this just in about Puff Daddy!.

Widow charged in plot to kill husband to get cash
Detroit Free Press
What did she do with the cash? She gave it to her nephew for his sex-change operation. The article does not address in which prison, the men's or women's, the now-female 'nephew,' who helped in the murder, will inhabit.

Shocking Family Secrets!
Rolling Stone
Ok, it's time to throw in an article about The Sopranos and here's a trivia quiz to boot.

My children meet Mr. Purple
Toronto Globe and Mail
If you check our archive, for March the 8th, you'll find a Salon.com article "Burglars Found My Dildo." Today, this writer "morphs from Courtney Love into June Cleaver" as her kids find 'Mr Purple.'

Crisis now worse than in 1967
Manchester Guardian
Foot and Mouth disease spreads to Europe.

No mask for the sound of slaughter
London Times
A family's reaction to the slaughter of their animals as the fight against Foot and Mouth continues. Have you ever noticed, by the way, that the the word 'slaughter' has the word 'laughter' in it?

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube!
ESPN
The Gonzo man bemoans his fate: it's March and that means losing money in NCAA Tourney pools.

Let's Ditch Dixie
Slate
This is the 2nd article we've cited in the past week, {see 3/11 article "Requiem for a Racer"}, that has defined the 'North vs South' schism as "NPR vs NASCAR." Interesting!

Anne thought police chase was escort
London Times
Here is an example of just how "unreal" the lives of the rich and famous are: Princess Anne "drove at 93 miles an hour on a country road because she thought the police patrol car flashing its blue lights behind her was an official escort, a court was told yesterday." I'll have to remember that one the next time I get pulled over.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Easy analogy question today.

This Day In History
The History Channel
On this day in 1950 the FBI unveiled it's first Ten Most Wanted Fugitive list. Here's a peek at today's list.

Don't call them pet owners, they're 'guardians' now
Vancouver Sun
When can we start getting tax exemptions for pets?

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison dishes out the advice and tackles that age-old issue wheich we have all faced at one time or another: "I am an Ivy-League grad, he is an unemployed painter who drinks too much. We broke up. I love him. My family will not approve of us getting back together. What shall I do?"

Nothing to : - ) About? .
Fox News
This one, about a company attempting to trademark the 'smiley face' emoticon, was sent in by Kay D. who adds "Imagine what the world would be like if people had to pay every time they smiled, laughed or cried? :)" Kay, if they could tax us for that, they would!

Medical arrogance and the decline of the autopsy.
The New Yorker
A Doctor argues for more autopsies.

Talk TV Host Morton Downey, Jr Dies
The New York Post
He was the most arrogant talk show host imaginable, until lung cancer humbled him.

More Tips On Wiring Your MP3s
SF Gate
I didn't know that people were playing mp3's over their stereo systems.

Napster Blocks Users From Trading Files on 26,000 Songs
NY Times
That leaves plenty to nab.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Puffy surrounded by lying opportunists, court hears
Toronto Star
Wasn't that Clinton's excuse?

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Uh, oh...a math question! And, once again I got it right! Will wonders never cease? You see, sweetiepie? I CAN handle the checkbook!

Let the hogfest begin
Salon.com
We start off this week with an analysis of Dubya's proposed new bankruptcy law. If you are carrying heavy consumer credit card debt and thought of filing, you'd better hurry.

Writing for George W. takes a certain lack of skills
Toronto Star
Sounds like the job for me!!

Yahoo cries in the advert wilderness
Manchester Guardian
Columnist praises then blasts Yahoo. Salon.com, however, vigourously defends Yahoo: "Do you kick Yahoo?" There's a reason for that, by the way. Salon is in far greater financial trouble. If the public perceives a vibrant Yahoo as failing, then Salon is already dead and buried.

Napster's zero hour approaching on filters
News.com
Napster will be back in court this afternoon. All downloaders better get moving.

William Safire: On Language
News.com
Safire's weekly language column examines "mole."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Diana could have been saved
Toronto Star
Prof. Christiaan Barnard, who performed the world's first human heart transplant operation in 1967, has a new book coming out. He has always been the master of publicity and shows why here.

Heard the latest?
National Post
The latest on kids and ear infections.

They like to win, we like to watch - it's perfect
National Post
Writer watches The TV Guide Awards and has an epiphany: what TV needs is more meaningless awards shows, not less..

This Day in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1945 Anne Frank died at Auschwitz.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
The recycling continues as CBS re-runs this January the 18th list: Top Ten Things We've Learned From The Clinton Years. Either they no longer care about this site or Dave is on an extended vacation.

'Teacup Rescue Dogs Vancouver'
Village Voice
On weekends we concentrate on the best of Weekly Alternative Press and we start out this week, as always, with the venerable Village Voice and an article which explains why all the e-commerce sites have gone belly up: people are looking for "naked skinheads," "old men in diapers," and "homoerotic baseball pics."

Jesus of the Week
Phoenix New Times
This week we get two Jesuses: a limp-wristed shepherd and an angry fella nailed to the cross.

Requiem for a racer
NewCity.com
What do you do when you are from Appalachia and raised on racing, yet you have moved and now listen to NPR?

The Nessie Files: Frank talk on sub tragedy
sfbg.com
Very interesting analysis by a former submariner. His conclusion? It was murder.

Ethics to Go
Chicago Reader
An ethics 'Help Line" for journalists is set up. How about one for politicians?

Street Talk: What Was Your Last Act of Philanthropy?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Weekly 'ask the person on the street' column always has interesting answers.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Phoenix New Times
Savage, the Dr. Ruth of the Weekly Alternatives, tackles that issue which we have all faced at one time-or-another in our lives: "I have been having sex with identical male twins and now I am pregnant. Can I tell who the biological father is?" Adult Content.

Christen Clifford: First Person
New York Press
Columnist sorts through her 'sex and violence' experiences.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
BDSM columnist defends her passion.

alt.sex.column
sfbg.com
The Bay Guardian pushes the envelope by running two sex-advice columns per week. Beats Dear Ann Landers.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today, in a link that is no longer active, The San Francisco Examiner reported that due to unfortunate circumstances such as internet searches, "Beaver College considers name change." Eight months later CNN reported that "Beaver College changes oft-derided name to Arcadia University."

Friday March 09

The gospel according to Luke (Skywalker)
BBC
8000 New Zealanders have promised to enter 'Jedi' as their faith on the upcoming national census. L. Ron move over.

Japan admits economy is facing disaster
London Times
Two views of Japan. The Times focuses on its economic plight, but The London Telegraph writes of Westerners flocking to Japan to seek enlightenment.
Telegraph login  e-portals  password: e-portals

Watching Movies With Ang Lee
NY Times
Excellent long article in which the now-famous director picks out a favorite movie from his childhood and watches it with a Times reporter. Meanwhile, author Salmon Rushdie has an op-ed piece in today's Times, "Can Hollywood See the Tiger?." It is definitely Ang Lee day in The Times.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

The Dreams of Webzines Fizzle Out
NY Times
The net's evolution cannot be predicted, and that's exciting.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Gates goes too far
SF Gate
Ken Auletta's series on Bill Gates continues with tales of bullying Bill. Part 4 of 5.

Our world-class trash is too good for Michigan
Toronto Star
My sister up in Michigan complained to me just last week that "We do not want Toronto's trash in Michigan." Well, here's an opposing viewpoint, sis.

Planet Earth
Feed Magazine
Nice piece in which a writer stumbles upon the first-ever Pizza Hut. His musings about globalization might surprise you.

Let The Next Backlash Begin: Where have all the riot grrls gone?
SF Gate
Chronicle columnist Neva Chonin, that "LIVE! RUDE! GIRL!," allways has interesting stuff to say and this week she slams into Britney, bourbon ads and breast implants.

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review. The actress who played "Po" in the now-cancelled Teletubbies finds a job.

Survivor: Tribal loyalties reveal themselves
Toronto Star
We followed Survivor last summer starting at about the half-way point and we'll do the same starting now. One quick observation after watching my 1st show last nite: they went with prettier people this time around. The Vancouver Sun also notices a difference: "Grace, magnanimity in short supply on Survivor II."

Current Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Roger's weekly column. He likes 15 Minutes. We might have to see this movie, sweetiepie.

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
Uh, oh...a math question! But, I stumbled to the right answer somehow. You see, sweetiepie? I CAN handle the checkbook!

A Married Man Is a Healthy Man, Study Finds
Yahoo Daily News
This married man is a happy man. Thank you, sweetiepie. I don't really want to do the checkbook.

Live Mouse Found In Meal
WXYZ-TV News
We lived in Detroit for over 30 years and we heard the "fried rat in a Church's Chicken meal" urban legend 15 years ago. It never happened and I truly doubt this happened either.

Council produces guide to explain what daylight is
Ananova
Caution, Great Minds At Work: "Carmarthenshire County Council's new road safety document says daylight is all other times than darkness, children are people under 16 and pedestrians are road users on foot."

Scientists hint at link between TV and Alzheimer's
Sydney Morning Herald
On Tuesday we linked to an article that claimed an inactive lifestyle leads to a possible increase in Alzheimer's. Today's link claims that the more TV you watch, the greater the chance you have of getting this disease. Sounds consistent. Meahwhile, I wonder what's on HBO tomorrow night?

Yahoo seeks new CEO, issues revenue warning
News.com
Aol and Microsoft have to be licking their chops.

Burglars found my dildo
Salon.com
Not only did they find this tacky pink-colored gift from her husband, they tossed it on her bed and the cops saw it.

Paranoia is good
SF Gate
Part 3 of author Ken Auletta's 5 part series on Bill Gates.

I want a life
National Post
Reporter's latest installment from remote Pelee Island where she has gone with her daughter to escape the rat race.

It's OK to wear scarves again in Sainte-Foy
National Post
The media ran with this and the public pressure made the mayor crumple. "When I saw the newspapers, I had to ask myself: Is our city doing something we should not be doing?" said Andrée Boucher, the Mayor of Sainte-Foy. In other words, "Boy, do we look stupid."

You're afraid of what!?
Canoe.ca
Film director Alfred Hitchcock supposedly feared eggs???

Samson psychoanalyzed: the latest Biblical figure with a mental problem
Vancouver Sun
Next up Jehovah?

SAT Question of the Day
The College Board
I can answer questions like this all day....just don't ask me any math!

Wednesday March 07

Eminem Releases Single About Hugging Elton John At Grammys Then Ripping His Dick Off With Pliers
The Onion
We just had to start the day off with this one.

Mutant Bacteria Next Threat From Russia's Mir
Yahoo News
The Fear the Mir campaign is in full swing.

China police unleash Net filterware
CNN
The Fear the Net campaign is in full swing.

TV Notes: Bada-Bing Go the Ratings
NY Times
Network execs are in shock as The Sopranos beats most of their programs last Sunday night, despite the fact that HBO is available in only a third as many homes.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Fighting for the Last Dollar on Earth
SF Gate
2nd part of Ken Auletta's five piece take on Bill Gates concentrates on his childish will to win.

Robert Thompson Watches TV For A Living
Salon.com
This guy has the job I want.

Mom can't sue to block Internet porn in libraries
SF Gate
Minors viewing porn in a library are protected by the Constitution? I don't think that was the intent of our Founding Fathers.

Why can't you buy turkey eggs in stores?
Straight Dope
Turkey Eggs? I have never heard those two words put together before.

Today in Rotten History
rotten.com
On this day in 1988 transvestite actress Divine, who appeared in several John Waters films, died from sleep apnea. .

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
It's hard to understand why CBS would pull this dated Top Ten list out of its archives: Top Ten Signs NY Has Football Fever.

Napster screens songs, but files still slip through
News.com
"The filter appeared to have serious holes in it." Ok, everyone...change the name of your Beatles mp3's to Beetles.

Dementia linked to an excess of idleness
London Times
New study shows that an inactive lifestyle may contribute to an increased risk of dementia in old age. That's good news for us, my sweetiepie.

Taleban leader defends statue purge
BBC
Here's some great logic: An Afghan leader turned down Iran's offer to buy the ancient Buddhist statues, saying "One Muslim should not give another Muslim what he does not want to have."

Addiction expert was victim of train crash
London Times
Bad news for the exuberant young: A British professor was among those killed in the Selby train crash last month. He was on his way to London to present a seminar on "on whether psychiatrists over-mediate the exuberance of youth." The BBC also has a touching article about this man who hated the effects of Ritalin on children.

King Out, Clinton In?
SF Gate
Columnist Rob Morse has an idea: "America needs a break from Larry King. Bill Clinton needs a hobby." Ouch!

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison tackles that issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "I am incredibly happy, and miserable all at once. My cheating, alcoholic, unappreciative ex-boyfriend has come back and thrown himself at my feet begging for forgiveness. What should I do?"

Ex-Cowboy, Olympian Bob Hayes hospitalized
Chicago Tribune
Hayes, once known as "The World's Fastest Man," loses his prostate.

The Science of Sex: Smell You Later
Nerve.com
Writer ponders several new studies which claim that human sex pheromones probably don't exist.

Bill's Excellent Adventure
SF Gate
Author Ken Auletta five piece look at Bill Gates starts off today with a very amusing story.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Things Dumb Guys Think J. Lo Means. Hey, wait a sec...didn't they run this a month ago? In fact, a check of our archive shows that this is indeed a recycled bit, placed online February the 7th. C'mon CBS, you can do better.

This Day In History
History Channel
Michelangelo was born on this day in 1475. Remember when we went to see his "David" at the Chicago Art Museum, sweetiepie? It must have been 1983? Thanks for going with me!

'Bushisms' cause national debate
BBC
Endearing tics or signs of idiocy? I vote for the Middle Path.

Jean Vanier, who some call a living saint, comes with a message of hope
Vancouver Sun
Interesting profile of Vanier, founder of the L'Arche movement, which runs 117 communities for the intellectually disabled in 19 countries

Earnings From The Crypt
Forbes
Can you guess 3 of the 13 highest paid deceased celebrities of the year 2000?

William Safire: On Language
NY Times
Safire looks at the interest to save the prune. Now there's a movement which I hope will pass.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Clinton to NAACP: "I think I was the first black president"
Salon.com
And I am the first headline linker from Mars.

Curbs Hit the Net's Free Juke Box
SF Gate
The San Francisco Chronicle writes that Napster has begun its filtering process, blocking blocking music mainly by the artists who sued Napster for copyright infringement, Metallica and Dr. Dre. But, The AP claims that "Songs Still Available on Napster." Meanwhile, The Toronto Globe and Mail reports that "Napster clone may set up shop offshore," similar to the many off-shore online gambling sites available.

Bankrupt Dot-Com Proud To Have Briefly Changed The Way People Buy Cheese Graters
The Onion
Another dot.com bites the dust.

Will pixels kill paper?
Toronto Globe and Mail
Nice piece outlines the industry's intent to get us reading from the screen rather than from the page.

No comment from US on Russia Embassy tunnel claim
China Daily
This is interesting: "US Vice President Dick Cheney said on Sunday he couldn't say whether the United States built a secret tunnel under the Soviet Embassy in Washington, which officials believe was revealed to the Russians by the FBI agent arrested last month on charges of spying for Moscow"

Today In Rotten History
rotten.com
Be careful today, Hollywood...nineteen years ago today, in 1982, John Belushi died of a drug overdose and nineteen years before that, in 1963, Patsy Cline died in an airplane crash.

Top Ten Things You're Likely To Hear In A Meeting With Les Moonves
CBS
Letterman continues to bash away at CBS Exec and word is out that Moonves is not amused. My fave is # 9: "What's the name of that actor who plays Dan Rather on the news?"

Nat Hentoff: Who Will Succeed Jesse Jackson?
Village Voice
On weekends we turn to the best of the weekly alternative newspapers and we start this week, as always, with the venerable Village Voice. Today the civil libertarian without parallel, Nat Hentoff, continues his series on Jesse Jackson.

Christgau: Rock'n Roll and Forever Old
Village Voice
We consistently pimp Robert Christgau's music reviews because for years his has been a rare sane voice in an insane world. Here he does the Grammys.

Sacrificial Lamb
Village Voice
The compelling case of Orthodox Rabbi Yitzchak Fried who could do hard time for medical marijuana.

Talks like Clinton, thinks like Reagan
LA Weekly
This is the third link we've carried this week which warns dems that Dubya is not as stupid as people think.

Chicken Nuggets for the dot-com Soul
Austin Chronicle
A nicely done Chicken-Soup for the laid-off. Meanwhile The LA Weekly declares, sillily, that its "The end of the Web as we know it."

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
I've never known any of the trivia that MSP has shared with us, including this week's batch. For instance did you know that the film with the longest running time has won 44% of the "Best Picture" Oscars?

Jesus of the Week.
Phoenix New Times
This week Jesus is trapped in a cat's world.

Street Talk: Who Is Your Favorite Character from a Book?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Always entertaining "ask the person on the street" series.

The Nessie Files: They're watching you.
SF Bay Guardian
Columnist is bothered that Super Bowl fans' faces were secretly scanned during the game to see if they were wanted terrorists.

Living Out
Eugene Weekly
Lesbian columnist remembers her mentor.

Dan Savage: Savage Love
Seattle Stranger
Weekly sex columnist has a humourous answer for the problem "I seem to have erectile hyperfunction and women always notice. What should I do?" Adult Content

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal After Hour
Vogels, yet another sex columnist and a fine writer, tackles readers questions this week. Adult Content

Dear Mistress Marisha
SF Bay Guardian
The weekly alternative press is much more than sex advice columnists, but they are a staple. Here Mistress Marisha tackles the 'sex over 50 when my spouse has died' issue.

alt.sex.column
SF Bay Guardian
Not to be ourdone, The Bay Guardian has two weekly sex columnists. Adult Content.

Friday March 02

When ‘digital dementia’ strikes
MSNBC
Ever want to throw something through your computer screen? You are not alone.

Taleban zealots turn artillery on Buddhist statues
London Times
The world’s largest 5th-century standing Buddha is destroyed after it and other Buddhist shrines were decreed insulting to Islam by Afghanistan’s hardline Islamic authorities. "All statues across the country will be eliminated." How sad.

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube
ESPN
The Gonzo man declares "XFL, R.I.P."

Good to the Last Drop
Newsweek
62 million Napster users can't be wrong. Can they? It won't matter, because Reuters reports that "Napster faces music in court on Friday."

Net's next phase will weave through your life
USA Today
But, will it take out the garbage on Thursday mornings?

Advertising: ESPN Uses a 'Hostile' Web Site
NY Times
Have you been to Kathi's webcam site, kathicam ? She boldly states "welcome to my website, as you'll see it's way better than espn.com" The problem is....kathi IS espn.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Roger Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Ebert's weekly look at the new releases gives 3 of the 4 movies reviewed three stars.

Bard On Pot? Weed It and Weep
NY Post
"Pipes dug up from the garden of Shakespeare's home in Stratford-upon-Avon in England contain traces of pot, researchers say." Sounds shaky to me. The pot could have belonged to just about anyone.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
How much was a night's stay at the famous Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City in 1933?

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in New Milford, Connecticut, the first automated streetlight system turned themselves on at dark. Can you guess the year?

Thursday March 01

No deaths, few serious injuries in 6.8 roller
Seattle Times
Where better to turn than to home town coverage of the big quake? Meanwhile, The Vancouver Sun quietly shouts 'Richter 6.8.' Also, The Washington Post writes of the trouble TV has in covering a huge quake that leaves no focal point.

Why the Dems Risk 8 Long Years If They Underestimate Bush
Feed Magazine
I keep telling my friends that Dubya is not stupid, but they won't listen. Maybe this article can convince them. If not, there is an almost identical analysis in today's Slate, Bush Befuddles The Democrats

New York Post craves an online sensation
News.com
The Post announces that soon all 200 years of its archives will be available online. No mention of a $2.50 charge per item, as the NY Times is now doing. Meanwhile, The Times announces that it will make its exact daily printed layout available for a small fee. Cable modem users will be able to download it in less than a minute, while 56K users will have to wait 10 to 20 minutes. At 28.8, I can already say, Forget it!

CNN tests streaming banner ads
Revolution
No word on whether this will slow loading-time for those of us stuck with 28.8 access.

Boys should start kindergarten a year later than girls, report advises
National Post
We faced this issue 13 years ago and will soon be facing it again and my theory is "get the kid in school {and out of my hair...er kitchen!} and he/she will adjust and I will be happy and all will be ok."

Amazon denies bankruptcy rumors as stock slumps
Salon.com
We'd better use that 'One-Click Ordering' while we still can.

I Want A Life
National Post
Latest installment in the continuing series of a mother and her 10 yr old daughter who abandon city life to live on 'remote Pelee Island.' Today she discovers that "No matter how far you drive on this island, you will never, ever, reach a Starbucks. Never." Have it flown in, lady, that's what I do.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today, in a link that is still active, The NY Daily News reported that Kathie Lee Gifford was leaving "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee," and that Regis would try to carry on without her. One year later, ratings are up fifteen percent.

Fact Of The Day
refdesk.com
What are the largest recorded earthquakes in the US and in the world? Did you know, by the way, that Matt Drudge's father runs this site?

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Answers To The Question, 'How Boring Was George W. Bush's Speech?' My fave is #8: It was so boring, halfway through C-SPAN switched over to an XFL game.

Michael Jackson breaks his foot
Ananova
He is in plaster up to his knee, but promises to show up in England to launch his global initiative for children, Heal The Kids. Heal yourself, Michael.

Countryside closed in bid to save farms
London Times
A chilling headline as Britain fights Foot and Mouth disease. The London Telegraph follows suit with The day they closed the countryside.

You Pussy!
Salon.com
A silly article in which the writer argues that the word should be used in a praiseworthy fashion, such as "John McCain is way pussy!" Also in today's Salon, Camille Paglia has the far more interesting article, a four page rant, including a vicious attack on Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monlogues," in which she claims that "Today's upper-middle-class Western women, with their efficient, schematized lives, are so removed from elemental mysteries that they are naively susceptible to feverish charlatans and cultists like Ensler, who encourages the delusion that they are in full control of their reproductive system... ." Finally, we finish this thread with an interesting Nerve.com article, Wax On, Wax Off, an interview with a woman who waxes off pubic hair for a living.

Critic Christgau Wraps the '90s
RollingStone
We link to his Village Voice nusic reviews whenever we can and now we get to read an interview with one of rock's finest critics.

Marvin Gaye knew exactly what was going on
National Post
Another tribute article, see yesterday's Boston Globe link.

Fasting Chic
Beliefnet
It may be Ash Wednesday today, but who would fast just to be chic? It's a dumb article. Canada's National Post has the far better article, A time to party, a time to reflect, a measured look at the tension between Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday, while the Boston Globe looks at the growing acceptance of Ash Wednesday in Protestant circles.

Did Roosevelt know in advance about the attack on Pearl Harbor?
Straight Dope
They teach a course at Tulane University which probably covers this: Welcome to Conspiracy, Paranoia and Subversion.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today, in a link that is no longer active, Elton John declared that "The Grammys are bullshit." I guess they're not bullshit when you can be the recipient of an Eminem hug. Right, Sir Elton?

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Hugh Rodman Tips For A Happy Life. My fave is # 9: Kick Roger Clinton's ass during "Disgraced Brothers Week" on "Jeopardy."

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison tackles an issue we have all faced at one time or another: "I am nearing the end of my Ph.D. studies and suddenly I would rather write fiction than work in a lab. What should I do?"

What's Happened To Mardi Gras
Slate
Writer moans that the Mardi Gras has become nothing but bared breasts. You can watch the Mardi Gras via webacam from 10 A.M. through 11 P.M. CST via Nola's bourbocam. We also can take a web-cam look at the Brazilian samba-driven Carnival, or read of its origin. Meanwhile, The Detroit Free Press reports on Paczki Wars, "paczki" being those fat donuts that Polish-Americans wolf down in lieu of baring their breasts. And, finally, The English flip pancakes today, their Shrove Tuesday.

'Friends' star in rehab
Melbourne Age
We knew something was wrong last June when Matthew Perry wrecked his car on a Hollywood side street.

Why animals have to be slaughtered
London Times
Some answers as Britain fights Foot and Mouth Disease.

Living life as a man's woman
Toronto Globe and Mail
Female writer has always felt more comfortable around men and offers no apologies.

Gaye's classic still what's going on
Boston Globe
That great, great classic 'What's goin on' is 20 yrs old.

The Final Lap
Time Magazine
Nice Earnhardt retrospective

Openly unorthodox
Boston Globe
He's the world's only openly gay Orthodox Rabbi. Attention Catholic Church!

So, Charlie Chaplin and Jean Cocteau walk into a bar ...
National Post
Nice article about life's chance meetings, including a bizarre one between Saul Bellow and Leon Trotsky.

How could the Russians not discover America? It was only 50 miles away!
Straight Dope
They weren't Europeans?

Playing bingo may help keep mental faculties sharp
BBC
But the smoke'll kill ya.

Napster blamed for huge drop in CD sales
Toronto Star
Maybe it's the product that sucks?

The loo and love
Salon.com
Writer has trouble going to the bathroom with her new boyfriend in the next room.

Church-going habits of the man accused as worst spy in FBI history
Toronto Star
The guy went to Latin Masses yet he sells out his country?

Sexual Outlet
Nerve.com
Writer takes a job in an adult sex store.

On Language: Body Man by WIlliam Safire
NY Times
Every politician has a body man, but what does it mean?
Times login  edportals  password:edportals

The Ethicist by Randy Cohen
NY Times
Weekly ethics columnist tackles an issue we have all faced at one time or another: "My wife is about to take a paid maternity leave, but she may decide to stay home after the leave expires. If she does not return, should she repay any of the leave money?
Times login  edportals  password:edportals

Art Buchwald, writer on the mend
Brill's Content
Whatever happened to Art Buchwald, the long-time American humor columnist?

Communing with danger?
National Post
I see the timid masses every week at Church as they walk past the communal chalice because of their fear of "catching something." Are they on to something after all?

Boomer Buddhism
Salon.com
Writer looks at the boom in American Buddhism and doesn't like what he sees.

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in 1991 the web browser was born.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Signs Bill Clinton Doesn't GIve A Damn. My fave is #10: Called Russia asking if they need a new spy

Sunday February 25

Nat Hentoff: The Shrinking Jesse Jackson
Village Voice
On weekends we look at the best of the Weekly Alternative Papers and we start, as always, with the venerable Village Voice and its voice of conscience, Nat Hentoff, as he examines Jesse Jackson and the fallout from the news of his lovechild.

The 10 Worst Cars Of The Millenium
Cartalk
Click and Clack, aka Tom and Ray, aka The Tappet Brothers, are Saturday morning public radio regulars across America and write a column carried in several alternative weeklies and here they pick out the 10 worst cars ever, and we've had two of them, sweetiepie.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
Weekly trivia columnist knows more than you do, but the fact about the storm drains in Lubbock, Texas is incomplete.

Street Talk: Have You Ever Seriously Questioned Your Career Choice?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Weekly person-on-the-street column always gets interesting responses.

The fag and the führer
Seattle Stranger
Eminem Plus Elton Equals Progress.

Mugger by Russ Smith
NY Press
Smith deconstructs the NY Times's abandonment of Puff Billy.

The Culture Bunker
Seattle Weekly
If you like gossip columns, then this is for you.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Seattle Stranger
Weekly sex advice columnist. Adult Content

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal After Hour
Josey has more results from her informal sex survey. Adult Content

Dear Mistress Marisha
SF Bay Guardian
Weekly BDSM columnist tackes an issue we have all faced at one time or another: "I want to experience pain. Am I normal?" Adult Content

Friday February 23

Skills of the Scrabble cheat
London Telegraph
Do the words 'quahog,' 'zo' and 'qi' mean anything to you?
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

He was a mean sumbitch, but he was our sumbitch
ESPN
Number Three was more than a racer...he was 'The South.'

Zoo keeper mauled to death 'after defecating on tiger'
Ananova
Was going to write "Can't say as I blame the tiger," but then I read the original story in The South China Morning Post which has a signifcantly different spin.

Great Wall Longer Than Thought
NY Times
Recently discovered section discovered in Missoula, Montana.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Clintons Find Their Support Buckling From Weight of New Woes
NY Times
Carver and Gore distance themselves from the tilting USS Clinton.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Can the pope retire?
Slate
Yes, but it hasn't happened in over 700 years, so don't hold your breath. Meanwhile, the Cincinnati Enquirer reports that a book about suffering by Chicago's late Cardinal Bernardin hits the bookstores today.

Neva Chonin: Some Kind Of Love Fest
SF Gate
The 'Live! Rude! Girl!' does the Grammys. The Chronicle's TV writer, Tim Goodman, also throws in his two cents worth, "Grammys are long on bad taste".

Man, I definitely do not feel like a woman
National Post
Continuing series follows a stressed out mom and her 10 yr old daughter in their search for peace on "remote Pelee Island." If she had waited 2 more months, by the way, she would have found herself in one of the best places imaginable to witness the spring warbler migration.

Roger Ebert Reviews
Chicago Sun Times
Ebert's not impressed with this week's films.

Ellen Goodman: Hooked on Coffee
Washington Post
Columnist faces her addiction.

This Week In Sex
Nerve.com
The week in review includes a fascinating amputation tale from Tbilisi, Georgia.

New Round of Job Cuts at Oxygen
NY Daily News
Oprah's cable channel scurries for viewers and I have one bit of advice: Andy Griffith reruns.

Fact of the day
refdesk.com
The largest cell in the human body is the female ovum and the smallest is the male sperm. That certainly speaks volumes.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Favorite Elementary School Excuse Notes. My fave is #2: "Cody was absent yesterday because we were at disco bowling until 2am."

Mark Morford: Puffy Goes Down
SF Gate
Columnist ruminates about "When quasi-celebs become pop culture afterthoughts." Meanwhile, fellow Chronicle columnist Rob Morse does not like Eminem, "A Bad Taste In My Mouth," but The Detroit News reports that Eminem wins respect and three Grammys, but Steely Dan takes top-album prize, a view Canada's National Post echoes "Controversial Eminem steals awards show." The Cincinnati Enquirer, however, shoots back with "Most of winners were truly worthy." The Dayton Daily News agreed:"Established acts pull the rug out from beneath the Eminem ruckus," but the LA Times counters with perhaps the best article of the bunch 'Stan' Carries the Night, arguing that "The highly anticipated Eminem-Elton John duet about an obsessed fan lived up to its hype." Finally, The Toronto Star disregards it all while gamely sticking to its own agenda: "Joni Mitchell a winner at Grammys."

Wish you were here - 112 years ago
London Times
A postcard sent from Australia to Aberdeen, Scotland yesterday arrived yesterday...a postcard that was sent on January the 4th, 1889.

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube!
ESPN
Hunter discusses Number Three and "Death in the Afternoon.'

Napster offer hits sour note
Melbourne Age
You didn't really expect the record industry to accept Napster's offer, did you? They are so afraid of opening the door, that they are going to slam it on Napster, not caring that there are countless other doors out there.

Saddam widens retaliation threat
The Australian
For every bomb we drop, he will take out three Denny's.

Hit & Run
Suck.com
Writer marvels at how a Barney Fife clone in rural New Castle, Indiana {a place I have gone birding!} nabs the two teens who were wanted for murdering the two Dartmouth professors.

MAD magazine to welcome ads
Deseret News
50 years of tradition jettisoned in an effort to stay afloat.

David Suzuki: Genome sequence just the beginning
Canoe CNEWS
Famed Canadian scientist's thoughts.

'What are they doing, Mom?'
National Post
Latest installment from Jane Christmas who took her 10 yr old daughter Zoe and headed to "remote Pelee Island." How remote can it be if I've been there? In fact, I've been inside the church she describes.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
Interesting comparison between ENIAC, the first electronic computer, which appeared 50 years ago, and the computer on your desk.

On This Day
NY Times
On this day in 1980 the U.S. Defeats the Soviet Squad In Olympic Hockey by 4-3. Read the article, see the front page.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten US Secrets Sold To The Russians. My fave is #5: Al Gore really won Florida

Napster offers recording industry $1 billion
News.com
Here's their offer: They pay out a billion over 5 years and "a service allowing limited numbers of downloads per month would likely cost between $2.95 and $4.95 per month, while an unlimited download service would likely cost $5.95 to $9.95."

Apple juice 'protects the heart'
BBC
An apple juice a day works as well, apparently, as a glass of red wine. Quick, dear...let's get some Mott's Apple Juice stock! Interestingly enough, the BBC reported a month ago that "Eating an apple a day may be good for the lungs, researchers have discovered."

Maureen Dowd: Your Fault. No, Yours. No, Yours.
NY Times
Always engaging columnist looks at NY's hottest couple: "Puff Billy and H.Rod."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Jimmy Carter: Rich Pardon 'Disgraceful'
Washington Post
Has anyone backed Bill on this?

All this relaxation is going to kill me
National Post
Continuing series follows a stressed out suburban mom and her 10 yr old daughter who move to "remote Pelee Island" {a place I have been to!} as they search for the simpler life.

Roger Caras, 73, Dies; Author, ASPCA Official
Washington Post
Prolific author, TV commentator and animal rights activist. Odds are you would recognize his voice.

Maybe we had a hand in Earnhardt's death
Charlotte Observer
No, this is not the same article that we linked to yesterday, Slate's "I Killed Dale Earnhardt," but it's the same guilt. Meanhwile, The Online Journalism Review, The OJR, attacks the media's coverage in "Racing Past the Truth"

StarFirsts
nerve.com
Continuing series of stars' first times focuses on Cybill Shepherd, Jerry Seinfeld, Joan RIvers and Joe Pepitone.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today, in a link still active,

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
salon.com
Garrison's weekly advice column tackles an issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "Help! I told my wife 20 yrs ago that I was a Harvard grad, when, in reality, I never even went to college. Now our daughter wants to apply to Harvard and intends to list me as an alum. What shall I do?"

The Science of Sex
nerve.com
Have you seen pheromone spray ads in magazines being touted as the latest and greatest aphrodisiac? Well, guess what? They probably don't work, so it's back to the black bear gall bladders, I suppose.

Man appeals for plastic surgery to create 'perfect' face
Ananova
Got a few spare bucks? Visit www.tim-1.com.

Ex-President Exposed As His PR Effort Turns To Disaster
NY Post
The Post consistently has America's worst headlines. Here they can't resist alluding to Monicagate while chuckling over Bill's continuing Marc Rich quagmire.

I Killed Dale Earnhardt
Slate
Nascar fan feels very guilty the day after. In other coverage, The NY Post discusses why NASCAR has more father and son combinations than all other sports combined, The Detroit Free Press has the preliminary autopsy report and The Daytona Beach News-Journal  talks about 'The Mourning After.'

Stanley Kramer dies at 87
Canoe
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner, Ship of Fools, and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World  were some of this producer/director's works. Read the It's a Mad World link if you like scathing attacks.

Miramax bites on Onion deal
Yahoo News
Several days ago we noted The Onion's  move to NYC and wondered if a deal with FOX wasn't far behind. We weren't that far off.

Untangling an online breakup
Boston Globe
Modern Love: They courted each other in a BDSM chat site...they met...someone got obsessive...nude pics popped up online...emotions raged, death threats were traded and the police were called.

We Should Witness the Death of McVeigh
NY Times
Essayist and small town undertaker Thomas Lynch argues that if we can't watch, we should reconsider.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

To slow a stick-shift car, should you brake or downshift?
The Straight Dope
Another money vs. fun choice.

Sum of two parts
South China Morning Post
Want an Asian view of the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman break up? "The reason that we're all obsessed with Hollywood marriages is they reflect a hideous fascist feudal system. If you marry out of class, you pay for it later."
SCMP Login: edportals  password: edportal

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today, in a link no longer active, the London TImes reported that " Salman Rushdie heads for new life in New York." Well, Rushdie still lives in NY, but "The Revolutionary Guards, Iran's main military force, this week issued a statement saying the death sentence against Rushdie still stands."

NASCAR Says Goodbye To A Friend
NASCAR
Yestarday's Daytona 500 will be talked about for decades. "Racing's greatest driver" dies while blocking others from passing his hand picked driver, a man who had never won in over 450 races, and his son as they rocket towards the finish line of their industry's greatest event. You don't have to be a racing fan to appreciate the drama. The winner wildly spraying his victory champagne, unaware that his boss was still in his crushed car surrounded by frantic workers using the jaws of life. Yet FOX downplayed this most incredible story and ended their broadcast. We await the movies that will certainly follow.

Mitch Albom: Nation still has Clinton on brain
Detroit Free Press
In his best "I am not a crook" pose, Clinton defended his pardon of Marc Rich in yesterday's NY Times. Reactions are predictible. Meanwhile, columnist, Television personality, and best selling author of Tuesdays with Morrie Mitch Albom outlines our Bill addiction.

Balthus was known for provocative, erotic work
Toronto Globe and Mail
Balthus, Count Balthasar Klossowsky de Rola, one of the 20th century's great realist painters dies at 92.

Out of office
Boston Globe
No, not another Clinton article, this is, instead, a goodbye to Voter.com

We'll all be dead before average life span hits 100
Vancouver Sun
How is your Monday going so far?.

Ask A Stupid Question
Cincinnati Enquirer
Todays Question: Why does time seem to go so much faster as we get older?

Fact Of The Day
refdesk.com
In many countries, it is the custom to wish friends a "Happy Birthday" on January 1st, rather than a "Happy New Year."

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today The NY TImes, in a link that will cost you $2.50 to read, reported that that 'Lincoln Was Vastly Influenced by a Faith He Did Not Share.' Lincoln also makes the news today as The Times  previews PBS's "Abraham and Mary Lincoln: A House Divided."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Rejected XFL Names. My fave is #7: The Las Vegas Lapdancerz

27th or 28th Annual Pazz and Jop Poll
Village Voice
On weekends we will turn to the best of the Alternative Press and we start off, as always, with the venerable Village Voice which this week released their annual music critics review, with viewable ballots from 586 critics.

Bored Again by Robert Wilonsky
Broward New Times
Chris Rock has a new movie out, "Down to Earth," and he is pinning his cinematic career on it. Robert Wilonsky, the Roger Ebert of the Alternative Press, hates it. So, what does Roger Ebert, the Robert Wilonsky of the straight press, think of "Down to Earth"? He hates it.

Letters At 3AM
Austin Chronicle
Our usual weekly link to the Chronicle is Mr Smarty Pants, a short collection of trivia that no one should know, but this week we focus instead on columnist Michael Ventura's mid-night ramblings, which start today with stories of his mentally ill brother who calls so often that "If I listened to all the messages I might end up where he is." Then he veers off into a description of what is stuck on his fridge door and, well, just read it, I can't do it justice here.

Talkin' about love
Detroit Metro Times
Interview with African American author bell hooks who is out promoting her newest book, Talkin' about love. She is also interviewed in The Boston Phoenix.

The Sky Is Calling
Washington City Paper
As FM radio was to AM radio in 1970, so is Satellite to FM today.

Savage Love by Dan Savage
Broward New Times
Nationally syndicated sex columnist tackles an issue we have all faced at one time or another: "I am an HIV positive wife and my husband and i want to advertise for a bi-male 3rd party. Should we disclose my status?" Adult Content.

Ask Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
BDSM columnist tackles an issue we have all faced at one time or another: "Why is bondage gear so damned expensive?"

Josey Vogels: my messy bedroom
Montreal After Hour
Fine weekly columnist reveals results of sex survey.

Tristan Taormino: Panic in Pornville
Village Voice
Columnist notes the steps the industry is taking in advance in order to thwart Bush-Ashcroft interference.

What's the Best Pickup Line Ever Laid on You? The Worst?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Weekly 'ask the person on the street' series always has some exclelent replies.

Towering Menace
Now Toronto
Not everyone believes that all of these suddenly springing up cellphone towers are harmless.

Wild Justice by Alexander Cockburn
NY Press
Long time columnist, who always has interesting takes, chimes in about the Marc Rich pardon, the Japanese reaction to the submarine disaster and more on the Gore/Clinton meltdown.

Jesus of the Week
Phoenix New Times
This week it's English rock star Jesus.

Did Walt Disney and Salvador Dali once collaborate on a film?
Straight Dope
An even more twisted Fantasia ?

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today The San Francisco Chronicle reported, in a link that is still active, that 'Fox savors 'Multimillionaire' splash - and plans to repeat it.' Of course, that never happened since "Rick Rockwell, a 42-year-old San Diego real estate investor" turned out, instead, to be Rick Rockwell, a 42 yr old failed comedian. Darva Conger, his bride, left nursing and has since posed in Playboy.

Russia Says Mir Station to Fall Later Than Planned
NY Times
Should we trust them about splashdown in the South Pacific, or hide indoors?
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Pentagon Bars Civilians From Submarine Controls
NY Times
Who's standing guard at the nuclear reactor plants? Newsday, meanwhile, interviews the two civilians involved.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

Rob Morse: Still Have Bill to Kick Around
SF Gate
Always engaging columnist moans that we can't miss Clinton if he won't go away.

The short, brilliant life of J.Lo and Puff Daddy
Toronto Star
Who would have thought that Puffy and J. Lo would break up? They were so in love. Ok...we all thought it, except my darling wife who "thought that Puff Daddy was a poison mushroom." Combs and Lopez don't get much coverage on the classical music stations apparently.

Onion uprooted: Humour mag moves to NYC
Toronto Star
Can a Saturday night FOX series be far behind?.

Mankind's Knowledge of TV Trivia Doubling Every Three Years
The Onion
We couldn't run an article about The Onion without running one from it as well.

The 10 Most Underrated Towns in America
Utne Reader
See if your town made the list. Mine didn't.

Tavern Turnover
Suck.com
Cute article about the gentrification of Ballard, a North Seattle neighborhood.

Sex by the numbers
Girlfriends Magazine
Interesting lesbian sex survey results. Did you know, for example, that the "Maximum number of orgasms recorded by researchers within the period of an hour is 134?"

This Week In Sex
nerve.com
The Week in review.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Valentine's Day Plans of This Guy. My fave is #5: Wait by phone in case supermodel accidentally dials wrong number.

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in 1979 Saturday Night Fever won a Grammy for Best Album of 1978. Do you recall seeing this movie, sweetie? We were on our way back from an interview you had at The University of Michigan where a 4th year med student pompously told you to forget your aspirations to be a doctor and that you should, instead, set your sights on becoming a nurse? You were so mad that I thought a movie might calm you down.

Wednesday February 14

Hindu Nationalists Have No Love for Valentine's Day
Beliefnet
Honey, we are not alone in our rejection of Valentine's Day: "Valentine's Day called 'alien' to India's Hindu culture, threats issued against 'indecent' celebrations." Beliefnet also examines the day from Protestant, Mormon, Catholic, Jewish and Taoist points of view.

Weblog special: sex on the net
Manchester Guardian
The Guardian answers "sex" to its own question: "what does true love mean to the digital generation?"

The Name of the Rose
Nerve.com
Writer circulates at a celebrity-laden party and asks the stars what their favorite word is for 'vagina.'

Hirsutes you, sir
London Telegraph
Writer examines why men wear goatees and beards but she doesn't come up with my mother in law's "vagina worship" theory. Interestingly enough, the word "hirsute" also pops up on the front page of Sydney Morning Herald as it offers a video of "Tennis hero Pat Rafter losing his locks" and his beard.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Mike Wendland: Anna turns high priest into sinner
Detroit Free Press
Free Press tech writer gets bitten by the Anna Kournikova virus.

Envisaging the Industry as the Loser on Napster
NY Times
Both The Times and Slate see the record industry as the loser in this week's Napster decision. And, as if to underscore this, SF Gate points us towards new Open Source alternatives.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

A Look at Marley's One Love, Many Talents
LA Times
A look at the astounding, enduring impact of that musical genius Bob Marley. PBS' "American Masters" documentary, "Bob Marley: Rebel Music," will air in many American markets tonight and it's also reviewed by The Toronto Star.

One Year Ago Today
net.Headlines
One year ago today CNN reported, in a link no longer active, that "Film critic Rex Reed arrested for alleged shoplifting." Reed consistently denied guilt, but two months later did accept a prosecutor's deal to escape conviction.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
For 500 years people have been doing what we were last nite...making Valentine's Day cards: "The paper valentine dates from the 16th century."

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Things That Sound Cool When Spoken By James Earl Jones. My fave is #1: "Wassssuppp?"

Why Can't Hollywood Kick The Habit?
The Toronto Globe And Mail
After seeing You Can Count On Me this past weekend, my darling wife mused "Why is there so much smoking these days in films?" Well, honey, you asked....here's your answer.

Garrison Keillor: Dear Mr Blue
Salon.com
Garrison's weekly advice column tackles that age-old issue which we have all faced: "I am a successful corporate lawyer and make a lot of money, but I hate my job and want to be a writer. What should I do?"

Uh oh! Teletubbie show goes belly up
The NY Post
Goodbye Tinky Winky? Goodbye Po? Hardly, there are 365 shows in the can.

Gas cooking threat to lungs
BBC
Is there someone with breathing problems in your home? Better open the windows.

Sean "Puffy" Combs debuts new menswear line
The Melbourne Age
Something in pinstripes? Meanwhile, The NY Post reports that Peta plans to stage a protest outside of Puffy's trial because of the fur his models wore at the fashion show.

Now, what about my thank you kiss?
The Australian
New study shows that "The overwhelming motive for romantic gift-giving on Valentines Day was obligation," and then it goes on to say that "romantic love motive was found to be of least importance." Therefore, my darling wife, because I truly love you, I will get you nothing for Valentine's Day. Well, my wife read this entry and has this to add: "i love you so much i'm not getting you anything for v-day either! remember our first v-day date (last tango in paris)? i've always thought there was a certain hostility in that obligatory gift-giving routine." Now you can see why I married her...what a woman!

Probing the secrets of Eros
BBC
Not a pre-Chocolate Day article, but a look at the spacecraft landing on Asteroid Eros. Why land a spacecraft on Eros? Feedmag has a theory, and it's about mining.

It stinks.
The London Telegraph
The Telegraph chimes in about Clinton's pardons.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

'It's not a very stressful life'
The London Telegraph
Nice interview with novelist John Grisham who earns $40 million a year, lives on 1000 acres in Virginia and does not miss law.
Telegraph login: e-portals  password: e-portals

Internet freedom on trial in China
The Australian
The net is the battleground as the regime tries to somehow control its over 21 million users. And The Baltimore Sun reports that activists are fighting back. But they had better be very careful because The Toronto Star reports that "Torture of prisoners in China is widespread, Amnesty says."

Napster Users Make Plans for the Day the Free Music Dies
The NY Times
A misleading headline...free music will never die.
Times login: edportals  password: edportals.

Go Ask Alice
The New Yorker
The New Yorker is finally online! They've decided to make about half of their magazine available, which is not bad...but could be better. They've also thrown in this online-only interview with Canadian author Alice Munro.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
Ty Cobb was a very strange man.

Can zinc lozenges cure the common cold?
Straight Dope
After reading this I might head over to Walmart this morning.

Monday February 12

Clinton Vaguely Disappointed By Lack Of Assassination Attempts.
The Onion
What better way to start off the week than to peel open the Onion?

Camille Paglia: We’re Getting Clinton Now as He Really Is.
Newsweek
The Queen of Rant reacts to Bill's jokes.

In dot.com valley, the 'pink slips' are falling like confetti
UK Independent
Back 18 months ago or so, Geocities, with something like 60 employees, and Volvo, with thousands of employees and physical plants in several countries, were both sold within days of each other, with Geocities selling for more. It was absurd.

'Hannibal' $58 Mil: No Chomp Change
Variety
Looks as if my beloved wife and I saw the wrong two films this past weekend, Crouching Tiger and You Can Count On Me. It doesn't matter, sweetie...I had a wonderful time!

Kidman 'in shock' over divorce
Melbourne Age
Tom breaks it off two months after they renewed their weddings vows on their 10th anniversary. The NY Post reports that Kidman left Scientology a year ago and that who will raise the kids and under which religion will be a major legal battle.

Crucial Napster decision due today
Dayton Daily News
What was the name of that one song I wanted to download? I'd better hurry! Oops, too late!  Variety is reporting that "Users rush for downloads fearing that court could shut site down."

Court says Napster injunction 'overbroad'
CNN
The Court left no doubt it considers Napster to be a pirate service, but gives it some last minute breathing room. That song I wanted was, by the way, "Renegades of Funk."

The Love Bloat by Andrew Sullivan
NY Times
Sullivan gears up for Valentine's Day: "Can we please ease up on our secular cult of romantic love?"
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

The Times Gets Romantic: V-Day is Coming!
Ironminds
No, we're not talking Valentine's Day here.

Is there a monastery in Greece that won't allow female animals?
Straight Dope
Al and Mike and I crawled into the attic when we were six and started "The Women Hater's Club." It lasted until dinnertime.

Fact of the Day
refdesk.com
If all the fresh water in the world was divided equally among all the people on earth, how much would you get?

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in 1999 President Clinton was acquitted. Exactly a year later, today, the Washington Post reports Arlen Specter stating that Clinton could face a new impeachment inquiry due to his pardon of Marc Rich.

David Letterman's Top Ten
CBS
Top Ten Least Popular News Anchor Sign-Off Lines. My fave is #7: "That ought to hold you little bastards" Amy Turledge from KDLH in Duluth, MN.

Sex in the First Person
Village Voice
On weekends we concentrate on the best of the Alternative Press and we start off with The Voice's tribute to Valentine's Day, twenty three short lusty remembrances.

Mr Smarty Pants
Austin Chronicle
Mr Smarty Pants knows more than you do.

Consumer Guide by Robert Christgau
Village Voice
I've been reading Christgau's music reviews since Nixon was president.

alt.sex.column: Male G-Spot!
sfbg.com
Sounds sexier than " the prostate gland." Adult Content.

Dear Mistress Marisha
sfbg.com
Weekly BDSM column tackles that age old issue which we have all faced at one time or another: "I want to be a foot slave. Will my partner be turned off?"

Latex wishes and PVC dreams
Montreal After Hour
If the above reader's partner objects to his fetish, perhaps he should check out a club like the one described in this article..

Sex Survey 2001 Results
Seattle Stranger
Most bizarre stat was that 4% of the respondents claim that they have had sex with a parent. Four Percent??? I thought this was the Seattle Stranger....not a West Virginia paper.

Dan Savage: Savage Love
Seattle Stranger
Once again Dan spends most of his column on pleasing a woman, but confesses he would rather be talking about gayboy's underwear. Adult Content.

What Will You Miss Most About Former President Bill Clinton?
St Louis Riverfront Times
Excellent weekly 'Person On The Street' column. My fave answer this week is: "I'll miss hearing about Kenneth Starr. Poor Kenneth Starr. He had a steady job for eight years, and now what's he gonna do?"

Barbershop Bigotry
Toronto Now
Haircuts for men are cheaper than women's haircuts and this writer is not at all happy about it.

What's better, a wooden cutting board or a plastic one?
Straight Dope
The answer better be plastic. I've had the same one for over 10 years.

This Day In History
History Channel
On this day in 1981 Bill Haley died. His "Rock around the clock," from the 1955 movie "Blackboard Jungle" was the 1st Rock and Roll song used in a soundtrack.

Scientology could be behind Tom and Nicole's split
Ananova
He's rumoured to be interested in another woman. George Clooney is rumoured to be interested in her, but maybe Scientology was the final straw.

Hunter S. Thompson: Hey Rube
ESPN
Hunter concludes his Super Bowl Tale, riffs about an allegedly wrongly convicted prisoner and then has this to say about the XFL: "If the TV ratings start looking weak, the Lewdness level will be the first thing to change -- if only because it will be a lot easier to hire naked cheerleaders than to go out & find better players."

Camille Paglia: Crying wolf
Salon.com
The Queen of Rant returns, but rather than quote her, as I usually do, here is reader Fred's description: "But Paglia! She is everyman's ex wife: ranting, nasty, loud, bitchy. She finds no good in anyone or anything and gives off negative waves that make my tummy sink... ."

Maureen Dowd: Taxing My Patience
NY Times
Where Paglia pounds Bill'n Hill, "a mammoth trash heap of greasy pardons, purloined furniture, jacked-up book contracts and gilt-edged leases, " Dowd, instead, misses "all the chaos and intrigue, the lies and cover-ups and sweet talk and reconciliations and razzmatazz."
Times login: edportals  password: edportals

An affair can be OK
The National Post
The Post asks several famous men this week to describe their "Perfect Woman," and today it's author Arthur Hailey's turn and he curiously builds a case for mutually-excused infidelities.

A rite of passage for black men
Toronto Sun
Darling wife....we will have to prepare our Sam for things like this.

Freud and Einstein on Holocaust bank lists
Sydney Morning Herald
Albert Einstein and Sigmund Freud were on a list of about 21,000 dormant accounts judged most likely to have belonged to Holocaust victims. The world owes them a lot more than just money.

Murdoch closes in on $70bn deal for DirecTV
London Financial Times
America is a great country because I can live in Appalachia and still watch Red Wing Hockey and Rupert better not screw that up!

Singapore company to wire car for Internet
Toronto Globe and Mail
Do we need cars with email access?

Ignorance was bliss, until HDTV came along
Toronto Star
We might not need internet cars, but, sweetiepie...i think we will need HDTV.

'Word of the Day'
Oxford English Dictionary
Easy one today.

One Year Ago Today     
net.Headlines
One year ago today The Chicago Tribune reported that 12-year-old twins Luther and Johnny Htoo were leading a mystical rebel movement in Myanmar (Burma). Today they are in Thai custody , seeking political asylum.

David Letterman's Top Ten     
CBS
Top Ten Things Dumb Guys Think 'J. Lo.' means. Rather than list my faveorite number, let me point out to my Culturally-Challenged darling wife that 'J-Lo' is Jennifer Lopez, not that would mean anything to her. In fact, here is her email after reading the prior sentences: "and who the hell really NEEDS to know who j-lo is anyway? i mean, is she going to take you out for walks when you're a doddering drooling old fart?"