Male nude housecleaners
Don't look at me.
I don't do windows.

Super Bowl Streaker
Super Bowel Streaker??? I can't believe even the NFL and Fox would stoop to such a low. But, for those who haven't seen a photo of the streaker, ESPN has a nice bit on him....turns out he's quite famous in the UK.

Jokes and cartoons about stents
Since I have 5 stents I feel qualified to comment...in fact, so qualified that I can boldly state "Let me set the controls for the heart of the pun." If you're in line for a stent, or five, don't worry, take heart....all will be ok.

French judge caught masturbating as woman lawyer makes case
I'm not sure why I got this referral and when looking at the other results the actual event looks to be very anecdotal....But I believe it!

galleries of women's soles underwater
Frankly, I'd rather view galleries of women's souls underwater.

Red Wings Iraqi information minister Saeed
I know my beloved Detroit Red Wings are the laughing stock of the hockey world, and I can live with that, but today I had over thirty search requests of all sorts about the Red Wings and Iraqi Minister of Information Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf . What the connection is, I can't figure out.

estonian girls feet
I knew it. By listing my weird Lithauanina Anal Prostitutes DSR the other day and mentioning the word Estonian, I now will become the number one site listed for all "Estonian sex" searches on Google. What an honor!

clear bottom company around rotteness island
Finally, I finally have a DSR that isn't about Lithuanian Anal Sex or Free nun's panties pics. However, what does clear bottom company around rotteness island mean? Rotteness Island could be a metaphor for society. Clear Bottom Company, on the other hand, has me stumped. Is the "company" a conglomerate or a group of people, looking for rottenness? If it's the latter, then what does clear bottom mean? Maybe it's a clumsy attempt at naked, in which case this is sadly just another Lithuanian Anal Sex search request.

Lithuanian anal prostitutes
Hard to imagine the mindset of this searcher. Apparently Croatian anal prostitutes just wouldn't do. Nor Polish, Estonian or Russian. He, and I think we can assume it was a he, wanted Lithuanian!

pindick email
The problem with posting something stupid like this is that I know I will quickly become the leader on Google in the pindick email category. This has already happened to me and the wonderful category of Jetson sex. The reason for the pindick email reference is that I commented the other day about a spam I got:

galleries of women's soles underwater
I know the net is awash in foot fetish sites. You can find Asian feet, Black, White, Latino...Hmm...I wonder if there's a Native American Foot Fetiish site. BRB Yep, found an "Allison Chains, Los Angeles, CA, Exotic Native American Beauty 22yrs ... subjected to worship and adoration of Her goddess feet." Anyway, given all of the above, it still surprises me that someone wants galleries of women's soles underwater! Good luck, pal...you are in your own little aquarium, I am afraid.

how an ugly woman turns into Brittany Speers when drinking beer
About the same as how an ugly man turns into Johhny Depp after his sixth beer, but I'd guess the man would be far more piggish.

lithuanian pickup lines
"Hey, baby, how about a warm bowl of Lithuanian Pork Spareribs and Sauerkraut Soup ?"

email addresses of rice farmers in china
What an absurd search request. Who would want to email Chinese rice farmers, in general, something? On the other hand, maybe it's about mortgages, or penis enlargers!

1969 nfl football government friday to monday
This is a strange one. 1969 was a famous year in NFL history because Joe Namath, a brash young QB from Alabama, who took his underdog NY Jets into history. However, I don't think that had anything to do with "government friday to monday," so we'll never know just what this searcher was looking for.

What kind of scientist should I be?
A good one.

kelly osborne- shut up
Well put!

What shape was James Lafferty Jr.'s 6 story building that he built in New Jersey In 1881 and what was it called?
Odd, quirky, little searches like this are why I keep doing this page. Who was James Lafferty? I had no idea, but a better-worded search on him turned up this fascinating article and photo of this very bizarre buliding.

my babysitter took my virginity stories
And I want them back!

What zany mystery writer could count on a blurb from Bill Clinton
Shouldn't that read "Which" instead of "What"?

Tom Brady masturbates
We're putting this page back into action after a seven month hiatus and we start off with this? Pathetic!

transexual intercourse
Hmmm, let me think: You put your left foot in, you take your foot out. You put your right foot in, then you shake it all about!

anal elvis
I wouldn't go so far as to say that Elvis fans are anal, or assholes. Just a lil' dated.

"illegal in 13 states"
Now, this could be interesting. I know it raised my eyebrows. What could be banned in 13 states? Well, apparently the drug ephedrine is, as well as "a tattoo depicting two or more individuals engaging in acts," and who knows what else. The possibities are limitless.

The person who won the pig kissing contest at Texas State Technical College in Waco
I know we have a lot of stupid festivals and contests here in Hooterville, Ohio but I'm pretty sure we don't have pig-kissing contests.

picture of george jetson having sex
Ok, let me go through this one more time. George Jetson is not a person. There are no pictures of him. I don't want to have to say this again.

Catholic Patron Saint for Dieters
I wonder if they a patron saint for idiots?

famous transexual eddie murphy
Just for the record: I have never written that the very famous actor Eddie Murphy is a transexual, but somehow my site is riding high atop Google's chart for this apparently untrue search request.

pope died while having anal sex
I don't recall hearing this either in catholic school or during any of the hundreds of homilies that I've snoozed through, but maybe they slipped it in somewhere and I missed it.

topless lawn mowing pics
No thanks, I've seen enough fat, topless dudes huffing and puffing in my lifetime and those are the only topless photos you are likely to find.

pervert hints
I'd guess that if you need hints then you're not a real pervert.

nuns mini habit
I recall one habit the nuns had: they'd slap my palms whenever I was caught doing something stupid, which was fairly often. Dunno if that was a mini habit or not, though.

tribal girls naked pictures
Here, pal, let me point to a site.

Peter Paul and Mary suck!
I agree!.

unnatural women pics
I don't have a clue what an "unnatural woman" would look like or where a photo of one can be found.However, I do know where a pic of a natural woman can be found, but she's teamed with someone whom I think is a most unnatural man

did aaliyah act strange before she died
She acted terrified, I bet.

Masturbation parties in Chicago
Don't ask me, pal, I live in Hooterville.

anal sex cry
I went 9 pages into this then gave up looking for my site. As for the actual search, I would think that anal sex could make one cry, especially since the Oxford English Dictionary defines sodomy as "An unnatural form of sexual intercourse, esp. that of one male with another." So, let me get this straight, pardon the pun: if a woman sodomizes another woman then it is somehow not quite as unnatural as it would be had the penetrator been a male?

"sodomy" + "oxford english dictionary"
Hmmm, let me see, "sodomy" + "oxford english dictionary" = "An unnatural form of sexual intercourse, esp. that of one male with another." The etymological roots go back to 1297, a long way back in time for such an "unnatural" act.

man looking for women in ohio over 50 for sex
I'd say this searcher left out one key phrase: "has twenty bucks."

"anal sex" "george bush" picture
Not a bad Search Request, but I don't think there are any pictures of Dubya and Jeb sticking it to Al Gore.

free photos of red heads having sex for free
This is not as redundant as I thought at first glance. The fellow, and I think it's safe to assume it was a guy, is cheap and he doesn't want pics of red-headed prostitutes.

picture fat mowing lawn
I would rather not, thanks.

wtc missing lesbian
Yes, I'll bet that out of the over 5000 people still "missing" there probably was "one" lesbian.

Masturbation Parties for Women
My Darling Wife claims to be going to choir on Monday nights, but I've always had my suspicions. Now, thanks to this lucid Disturbing Search Request, I have proof that the choir was but a charade!

find free sex web sites were you don't pay
I see this searcher is big on redundancies. Just another pathetic Disturbing Search Request.

panties and ohio
I look at my referral log and it makes me wonder...does anybody search for anything other than sex on the internet? This is one of the more benign Disturbing Search Requests.

13 years old naked girls picture free illegal
I can add one word you forgot, pal....jail! .

13 years old girls in mini skirts naked
I am shocked to find that this page is Google's number one site for this twisted, omymoronic topic.

this is a stupid search request
I agree, just another DSR.

nun's panties
I was going to go into a tired "What is it with these weird DSR's? They seem to be getting sicker and sicker!" Then I looked at the search results and it's obvious that the searcher was after a lame nun joke that is making the rounds.

picture of george jetson having sex
I am the undisputed king of "The Jetsons Having Sex" searches on the net and here's an update of these very weird DSR's: So far, I've been included in 103 differently worded searches that include the words "jetsons" and "sex." In the lead is "+free+picture+of+the+jetsons+having+sex" with 134 hits. 2nd place belongs to www.the jetsons having sex.com which, to date, has 108 hits.

Aunt Bee Porn
I wonder what goes through some people's minds. The DSR's keep getting weirder and weirder.

hints for looking up girls skirts
Hmmm, let me think...You could keep dropping a quarter at the bottom of an escalator that's coming down; you could hide under a pew at church or you could enter a pathetic DSR and hope for a miracle.

national masturbation week
I wonder what the homework assignment to honor this will be? The Weird Search Requests never end!!!

cool ways to take off a bra
Hmmm, let me think: you can unsnap it; you can lower each strap then twist it around and pull it off; you can rip it apart with your teeth or you can spend some of your precious moments alive searching the net for silly requests.

What Does Aaliyah Like After The Plain Crash
Sicko can't even spell plane.

Virgin Voom
I didn't have clue what this Weird Search Request could mean. Virgin Voom? Let's go over to the Oxford English Dictionary for help on the word "voom." I see there are two results. Maybe they will clue us in.

The first definition of "voom" is "Indicating the sound of an explosion," such as in the "the roar of an engine being revved." A virgin noise explosion? It has possibilites, but only in a poetic sense. Let's look at the second definition for more help.

The 2nd definition of "voom" finds that it's a variant of "vome," a medieval word meaning vomit. Virgin vomit? Well, unfortunately, I don't think we'll ever find out what virgin voom means, unless we think of that new engine being revved or reflect on a bad case of pre-nuptial jitters.

july 24 sucker
There I am, sitting high atop the chart at number one for "July 24 sucker," whatever the hell that means. I accept this Wierd Search Request Award on behalf of all webloggers and all July 24 suckers everywhere.

portraits of orgasms
My darling wife and I teach sexuality twice a year to the local Pre-Cana Candidates and in my part of the spiel I often tell them that looking into the face of your spouse as he or she is orgasming is the closest that we can get to looking into the face of God in our lives. Of course I've never mentioned this on the website.

actual topless nuns picture
I bet there are a ton of web sites that have porn models wearing only a nun's habit and doing the kinds of things that this person is probably looking for. But No! He wants an "actual" picture of a real topless nun. Imagine how disappointed he must have been to find my rather benign little site.

Hello my future girlfriend
Ahhh, finally a Weird Search Request that isn't porn-related. But, wait, that's probably presumptuous of me because we don't know what the second line of dialogue was that this user entered. Based on other search requests that lead users to me it was probably something like "Now that you are my girlfriend, take off your panties."

bra Newsweek
AOL Search has only 10 matching sites for this fascinating subject. Interestingly, my site places second, but there are no Newsweek results listed. Is it possible that the famous weekly never mentions the word bra, or does AOL just not search Newsweek's articles? Bet on the latter.

free picture of the jetsons having sex
Once again I lead the league in the "Jetsons Sex" category, although this reference doesn't have nearly as many hits as my personal favorite www.The Jetsons having sex.com.

Ohio perverts
I limp in with the 31st out of 35 ohio pervert results. My initial response was that one can find 'Ohio perverts' between 'Indiana perverts' and 'West Virginia perverts,' but a look at the other results piqued my interest. For example, why would AOL search link 'Ohio perverts' to a site dedicated to Pope Boniface VIII who died in 1303? There wasn't even an Ohio in 1303, although, given human nature, there probably were some perverts in the Shawnee,the Miami and the Wyandot tribes that populated Ohio.

emily perverted sex
The Thought Police over at AOL have limited the above search to only ten results, with mine coming in sixth, wedged in firmly between Bronte's Wuthering Heights: a psychoanalysis and Constructing Walt Whitman: The Critics Contend With the Good G(r)ay Poet. Now, with all due respect to Bronte and Whitman, the search results for "emily perverted sex" should include a lot more bizarre sites. Let's see what the same search on Google brings: 1120 results!

husbands and wives anal sex
Hmnmmm....a good question {if it were in question form}. Let's do some research. The ACLU reports that sodomy between consenting adults of the opposite sex is still illegal in 13 states, plus Peurto Rico. On the other hand, Canada abolished its sodomy laws in 1969, England in 1967 and all of Australia, except Tasmania, in the 1980's.

July 24 sucker
This rather enigmatic DSR places me 62nd out of 65 results. But, what could "July 24 sucker" possibly want? For hints I went over to the Any-Day-in-History website and ran a July the 24th search. Hmmm...let's see.. The eccentric writer Ambrose Bierce was born on 7/24. Both Isaac Bashevis Singer and Peter Sellers died on July the 24th, but that doesn't help either. A search of the exact phrase in Google proved fruitless, so we will never know what this searcher was after.

www.The Jetsons having sex.com
My referrer page now has forty one separate requests for some variant of Jetson Sex. These forty one requests were made by 145 people, with naked jetsons leading the way with 27 hits. For whatever reason, I am the "Jetsons having Sex" King of the Internet. Pathetic.

you stupid man
Me?

Looking up mini skirts
Mine is the 12th out of 137 AOL Search results and shockingly only one of the eleven ahead of me is a porn site. Now, let's run the same phrase by Google and see what we get. Surprisingly, the exact phrase "looking up mini skirts" does not find any matches. A more general search turns up 15,000 results...now, that's more like it!

everything family goddamn ordeal
I know how you feel, bub.

YAHOO WEEKLY SEX STORIES
AOL Search came up with 91 results and I, for some reason, came in fifth. It's an interesting DSR for several reasons. FIrst off, Yahoo does not have a 'weekly sex story' section. The best free net sex-story site is, so I am told, alt.sex.stories. The more interesting factor was the 4th result...the one just prior to mine. It's the Doriot Family web site. They are, it turns out, Christian missionaries in Irian Jaya, which is located in Indonesia. The Doriot site is a little disjointed, but includes a fascinating tribal village photo of people who have never heard of Yahoo. You never know what you'll find when you wander through the wonderful world of DSR's.

THE ANAL ELVIS'
I came in 8th out of 17 AOL search results in this very fascinating search request, but none look as if they have anything to do with "Anal Elvis" (whatever the hell that means). So i then did a Google search and found that there actually are seven sites which include the exact phrase in their meta-keywords, but they are all pay sites which pop up numerous windows upon entry and/or exit . Of course, none of the above even addresses the problem of that curious possesive apostrophe, but we'll skip that for now, since it probably was some idiot's typo.

free female masturbation guide
I'm kind of disappointed to limp in at number 37 of 51 matching sites, although I don't get a lot of masturbation references in my DSR's, probably because most people figure this touchy subject out on their own.

+"I am a BAD American" +source
As I pour through my Weird Search Requests I am always intrigued. Take this one. What "source" could make one a Bad American? If you are Al Gore, it might be cutting down trees; or if you are George Bush, it might be The Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans. Maybe 'The Source' is crack cocaine, or buying into the Barbie doll culture. You pays your money and you takes your choice.

Naked Jetsons
It's time for me to flush all of the Jetson references out of my Weird Search Requests. We start with 'Naked Jetsons,' moving next to Jetsons sex. Then we visit a variant, where my site is number one: the already reported Jetsons having sex, and, in keeping with the season, we finish with the touching Jetsons Mothers Day.

dead and suicide and gore
Probably wishful thinking by some sick Republican. He/she is bound to be disappointed, however, as today's Salon.com reports that Gore likely to reappear by fall

-- Laura Bush, on what she doesn't like about the White House.
Those Democrats mowing her lawn!

Slanted Fedora
Yes, with my Slanted Fedora in place, along with the French cigarette dangling ing from my lips, I was set for another day of mowing the lawn.

life and times of rosa parks.com
Well, let's do some research on this. Register.com says the site was created on 10-Oct-2000, although if you fire it up, you'll not find anything.

alternate sex in Detroit
Now that our beloved Red Wings have been eliminated, there will be plenty of time for alternate sex in Detroit. But, just what is alternate sex?

the downfall of maya angelou
Some might argue that it started with her alliance with Oprah.

nuns "and" vatican "and" sex
nuns "and" vatican "and" sex "equals" yet another boring boring 60 Minutes II segment.

portrait of last supper with cartoon heads
Talk about dummying down!!

i want cady from girls' breast
This request led the searcher to only 2 sites, net.Headlines and Equality in Florida, a site which demands topless equality in sunbathing. Now, what either site has in common with "candy from a girls breast" I have no idea. In fact, what does "candy from a girl's breast" even mean? And, finally, of course, the idiot mispelled the word "candy." Google tells us that 'Cady" is a proper name.

Ho to say something nice to a friend
Hmmm...maybe something like "My, you look pretty today, Janice." While we are at it, let's flush out all the 'ho' searches we've received so far, starting with the mundane PIMPS&HOS, moving then to the rather specific army ho's, and finishing with the already-cited, street battle-cry of pimps up ho's down.

which came first? portal vein thrombosis or nodular regenerative hyperplasia of the liver
My beloved in-house medical expert, and also mother of our 7 kids, answers "do you mean which was recognized as a disease entity first, or are we talking cause and effect?"

devolpment of girls
speling devolpment?

married women who love sex in chicago suburbs
Oh, those decadent suburbs!

Am I a Bad American?
Yes!

door to door breast examinations
Finally a job for me!

50's parties ideas
Not quite sure if this searcher was looking for links to ideas about the Republican and Democrat parties of the 1950's or if they want to throw a party in the style of the 50's or if they want to throw a party for someone in their fifties.

Bush's view of pagans
Probably not very good.

What do you think is the most critical issue facing Detroit at this point in time
Well, I think they need Tony Clark to start hitting and, of course, they need at least 3 strong starters and then ther'es the problem at catcher.

headline death black man
A little open-ended, no?

spring break stories AND chubby
And chubby what? The angst of being chubby in an MTV world?

+ono +europe +buying +netherlands
I don't know about buying the Netherlands, but a story in Canada's Canoe.ca reports that she did buy a doctor of laws from The University of Liverpool.

poetry die headlines people every day want found there
Not quite sure if this searcher was looking for poetry or headlines or...forget it, I could get lost in that sentence.

HOW AUNT BEE DIED
This searcher was no doubt looking for how Frances Bavier died. She died in 1989, 21 years after the show ended, at the age of 86 and apparently got a little whacky when Andy and Ron Howard decided to knock on her front door a few years before she died.. Maybe she acted that way because she never really liked Andy. Thanks to reruns and web sites Aunt Bee will live forever.

adult content jokes for meeting women on the net
Forget it, pal, you don't have a chance.

alien mothers day cards
Although you're from Saturn, it doesn't really matter. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

tony sex sites
But, what about ralph sex sites or edna sex sites?

Survivor II pee
Yes, I'm sure they peed, but is there a source on the net about it? A quick check of Google says no.

nascar poems
Hmmm...let's see..."The drivers go fast, they never turn right...they dress real silly and there's no red lights."

top ten reasons to smoke dope
Number Eight.... Richard Nixon!

women in mini skirts
The lack of imagination in some people is stunning.

downfall commercial airlines
I can't see flying "downfall."

fat people picture
Somebody sat down at their computer, brought up Yahoo and then typed in the words "fat people picture" and got linked to net. Headlines. However, we never run photos.

toe suckers
I'm sure the person who entered this was quite disappointed when net.Headlines came onscreen.

tasting orgasms
Maybe somehow related to toe sucking?

sucker for a sad story
I like this person.

old women sex portraits
It's the word "portraits" here that I find strange.

pimps up ho's down
Some of these leave me speechless.

Hitlers cooking recipe
Hitler had cooking recipes??

jetsons having sex
The Jetsons had sex???

Actress filming you stupid man in toronto
Yes, you stupid man!! Caught on Tape.

two hours ten bucks one big question
One could write a short story about this phrase.

+piracy +naked +gray +software
What on earth was this person looking for? Naked, gray, pirated software?

DETROIT NEWS AND VIRGIN SUICIDES
We lived for years in Detroit, I read the area papers daily online and we still have family back there, but I had not heard of the Virgin Suicide problem. What the searcher was looking for, undoubtedly, was for some info on Sofia Coppola's film, The Virgin Suicides.

big black breast
Just one?

worlds biggest breast
I am sensing a pattern.